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AIBU to not want to pay in full?

(185 Posts)
Lincspeeps Tue 26-Mar-19 07:57:52

DD is in before and after-school childcare in a small place near Peterborough. We used them for DS for three years and DD has been there for five years. Never had any problems with them and have got to know staff very well.

Last week we had a call to say that due to an admin oversight our cheques from May and July 2018 have never been banked (total of £580) and as they are almost 9 and 11 months old they need replacements as the bank won't take them.

We hadn't realised they hadn't been banked and, being honest, that money is no longer available. Obviously an error on their part and on ours. We have offered to pay them £100 per month but they want it all or they won't accommodate DS after Easter.

AIBU to not want to pay it all out. We would have to go into overdrafts to find the lump sum and would be charged. As it's a dual error I don't think £100 per month for six months is it?

FaveNumberIs2 Thu 28-Mar-19 21:11:52

For all the people wondering how the op can't know there was an extra £580 in the bank ... the cheques were over two separate months, so not £580 all in one go.

Secondly, I never have a clue what's in my own bank. It's true, I don't have to fork out for childcare, but I do have regular bills and shopping to do. The only day I could give a clue as to what's in the bank, is payday. And even then I'd probably be wrong.

So get off the op's back about it being impossible to know that there was extra funds in her account.

Lincspeeps Thu 28-Mar-19 14:03:58

OMG - I can't believe the number of comments that have continued coming in criticising me LOL.

Some points:

1. Yes, my financial acumen is poor. I will be keeping a much closer eye on my accounts in future.

2. We pay by cheque as that's the only payment method accepted.

3. For the third and final time, no matter what some (many!) of you appear to think, I didn't not miss the money. I was not trying to steal it. I did not think I was going to 'get away without paying'.

Thanks again for all your comments. It has genuinely been helpful.

However, to all of you who made comments along the lines of "I don't believe for a second you didn't notice the cheques hadn't left your account" (or words to that effect)….….this approach to dealing with people will win you absolutely no friends in life and result only in sadness.

You may feel superior and all-knowing when you type it but, with no evidence whatsoever to back up your claims, then you are really not much more than a troll.

Thanks again to all who gave their time and constructive advice.

Aveeno2017 Thu 28-Mar-19 10:34:16

How can anybody not know that money hasn't been taken out of their account for months? Of course you need to pay...maybe that's why you lack funds now!

Lweji Thu 28-Mar-19 10:28:32

I think they are lucky that parents are prepared to pay in installments at all and the manager should apologise to you for having insisted on full payment immediately with threats of not having the child over Easter.
What if you had given them the money but they had lost it? Would they still want you to pay them twice?
Glad the business owner has more sense. Maybe that's why she's the owner. wink

Teacher22 Thu 28-Mar-19 10:21:55

My advice is to keep an account book. I do and I would have taken the nursery fees off my running total of disposable money. It would have been sitting in the account if the cheques were not cashed and I could have rewritten the cheques with no problem.

I cannot see how you can order your finances if you do not know the true position of your income, liabilities and disposable money at all times.

Mememeplease Thu 28-Mar-19 09:48:15

Good because they'd be cutting off their nose to spite their face if they were prepared to lose such a loyal customer over their mistake.

Faultymain5 Thu 28-Mar-19 09:48:14

How hard is to to read the thread before giving an opinion that doesn't even count anymore?

lottiegarbanzo Thu 28-Mar-19 09:37:00

You should definitely cancel the cheque wink

manicmij Thu 28-Mar-19 08:47:16

You should pay. They seem to be a bit harsh though not accepting a payment plan however they are due the money. Trying to find a new place may be difficult if the new place contacts your current one for info a out child/reference. You may be black listed. Hard lesson.

M4J4 Wed 27-Mar-19 21:01:33

And how would you feel working for 2 months, realising you didn't get paid, and then find out your boss won't pay you.
This will go to court they will win.

Are people really this thick?


She wanted a payment plan, which is more than reasonable.

I bet lots will be pissed off that OP is not being forced now to pay it off at once. Who gives a shit if she has rent and bills to pay hmm

nuxe1984 Wed 27-Mar-19 20:53:04

Do you not keep monthly accounts? A running total from which you take off your commitments, like mortgage, bills, etc? And checked your bank statements against payments made, cheques written, etc?Surely you'd have noticed this much spare cash left ... sounds to me as tho you were hoping they didn't noticed that the cheques hadn't been cashed.

Yabbers Wed 27-Mar-19 20:44:47

They will have bills to pay too
Then they should be more careful with banking cheques.

If you are on a tight budget you need to keep on top of your finances.
She’s wasn’t on a tight budget. It’s only now it’s tighter because of a booked holiday.

Bollocks that you didn't notice the cheques hadn't been cashed. If you can't afford £500 now then you would have noticed.
Last month I had a whole load of cash in my account. I paid off the flights for my holiday last week then a week later got confirmation my daughter’s SN trike was ready (three weeks earlier than expected) and could I pay 560 quid for it. The holiday was three times that amount and I could pay it out of my account. This meant I couldn’t send a cheque for the bike and it went on the credit card until next payday. It is possible to have a lot of money one month but not have it the next, even more possible for things to change over 9 months. It is also entirely possible for people not counting every penny not to notice two separate 290 cheques not being cashed over a 3 month period. Why is that so hard a concept to grasp?

flowergrrl77 Wed 27-Mar-19 20:21:25

Glad that it all ended well!

Like someone else on here, I too have a separate account for cheques, I transfer funds as I write the cheque so I know I can’t accidentally spend money twice!

Good luck xx

Iseewhatyoumeanthistime Wed 27-Mar-19 19:46:57

I know your issue has been resolved OP, but it can happen and it happened to me. I used to give nursery a cheque every week, (they didn't at the time take card payments) which would be cashed within a week or so. The manager left then I noticed the cheques would be cashed sporadically, 2 or 3 at a time, once 6 cheques were cashed at a time but were about 2 or 3 months old and out of sync. It was when they came to me with 2 old cheques that couldn't be cashed and returned to them as I had changed bank accounts and the account was closed. Luckily nursery agreed to me paying a bit extra every week to cover the outstanding amount. I didn't notice because my DH is self employed and pays all different amounts in to our bank account each week and i didn't religiously check they were cashed. Plus my fees could be different each week. I then started to transfer the money to a saving account and put it back into current account once the cheque was cashed and I even started making a note of the cheque number and ticking it off when cashed. Much easier now you can bank transfer or make card payment .

sewingismyhobby Wed 27-Mar-19 19:32:00

You did pay them at the time with a cheque.

Their issue is their crap admin processes and it makes it their problem that the bank will no longer honour the cheques.

I'll wouldn't be offering to pay them anything without a court order.

RomanyQueen1 Wed 27-Mar-19 19:31:53

I check regularly now as something similar happened to me once with dancing fees, costumes etc. Thought I'd paid and they hadn't put it through.
Every month or more often is checked now, if you have online banking it takes no time to check.

Playmytune Wed 27-Mar-19 19:27:49

If you are on a tight budget you need to keep on top of your finances. If you aren’t checking your outgoings against your available finance you are, at the very least, being very foolish!
I check my statement every month to ensure the numbers tally with what I think is in the account.
You should pay this money owed now as it your responsibility to do so. Get an overdraft or bank loan and clear your debt! Then take more responsibility for your finances!

Bessica1970 Wed 27-Mar-19 19:22:11

Oops - didn't see the later posts until now!

Bessica1970 Wed 27-Mar-19 19:19:11

Not everyone checks their bank statements - I certainly don't. You haven't done anything wrong and have not said you won't pay. As it's their mistake, they should allow you to pay in instalments. I would repeat your offer, and tell them that if they withdraw your childcare offer you will be writing to Ofsted. After all it could unsettle your child to have to go to a different nursery.

If however you can manage to pay in one go somehow, I would do it, just to avoid any bad feeling between you and the nursery. They may be less likely to overlook minor problems if you dig your heels in over this.

springbreak3 Wed 27-Mar-19 19:09:30

JUST NOTICED they accepted the £150 x 4.

Sorry! I did all read the thread except the last 2 pages.

What a tit.

Good result smile

springbreak3 Wed 27-Mar-19 19:07:50

Not having a go OP, I just struggle to get why anyone wouldn't notice the money not going out, but I know we are all different....... I hope it works out OK for you. smile flowers

springbreak3 Wed 27-Mar-19 19:06:46


Also confused as to how you didn't notice £580 not going out, but now cannot afford to pay it. Have your finances got severely bad in the last few months?

It's bad that they only just realised it, and it would be nice if they let pay instalments. However, they don't have to do that.

As a few pps said though, they can't need the money that bad if they didn't notice the money missing (when you paid it to them in the middle of last year!)

I agree with the posters saying it's their fault as much as the OP's and they should let her pay in instalments. Threatening to not take her DD after Easter is nasty. It's basically blackmail.

BlueCornishPixie Wed 27-Mar-19 18:37:59

Some posters on here are such dicks. Being a sanctimonious arse doesn't make you look clever or better than others.

I can see how you might not notice, I am self employed so my monthly income fluctuates for example. And my monthly expenditure could easily fluctuate by 200 if it had been an easy month ( no surprise spends etc)

It was their mistake, it's been 11 months. I think if you go to a customer and say we haven't cashed your cheque from 11 months ago you have to show some leniency for your mistake! You can't expect someone to be able to pay you nearly 600 in one go if you failed to cash their cheques. That's totally unreasonable. I wouldn't dream of doing that to someone who had paid me nearly 25k over the years!

OP never suggested not paying, this is a totally fair arrangement, preventing the OP going into debt and the business getting their money. Some people on this thread act like owing a business money is the worst thing in the world.

Sara107 Wed 27-Mar-19 18:35:36

Some harsh comments. I could easily not notice the cheques not being cashed. We don’t get bank statements any more and I don’t regularly check the account- same amount goes in every month, roughly the same comes out as we pay all bills by monthly direct debit. We would run at a slight surplus so that over time a nest egg builds up to deal with one off bills like the house insurance., school shoes etc. The nursery have messed up on 2 separate occasions so they clearly have a systemic problem in dealing with cheque payments - I would want to know how they are going to do things differently to stop that happening again. I think, as the mistake is theirs, it is absolutely reasonable to pay them off in instalments.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks Wed 27-Mar-19 18:32:59

I didn’t know anyone had cheque books anymore......

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