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To have left DS asleep in the car?

(269 Posts)
HelenLaBloodyAnnoyed Thu 14-Mar-19 22:30:03

Today I took DS (14 months) swimming. The pool is only a two min drive from school so I thought he'd make it and then could nap after but the poor little thing was absolutely exhausted and snoring by the time I arrived at school. I parked in the school car park and waited until I saw children from my DDs class leaving, then sprinted to get her leaving DS in the car. The car was out of my sight for less than 30 seconds. WIBU?

shesgrownhorns Sat 23-Mar-19 19:50:22

I would have no problem with that at all. Parenting youngsters is just one risk assessment after another and that's what you did OP - you assessed risk and determined that it would be fine!

Barrenfieldoffucks Sat 23-Mar-19 19:25:48

Pmsl, someone has been at the aforementioned gin methinks.

internetpersonme Sat 23-Mar-19 19:24:42

@Eatmycheese 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

internetpersonme Sat 23-Mar-19 19:22:28

Big difference between leaving a kid sleeping alone in a car and hoovering over someone constantly until they're 56 hmm yeah so cool on mumsnet to be a slack hooray for gin shit mum. Your rules your kids huns you're scum.

EllenMP Sun 17-Mar-19 16:17:42

Assuming the car was locked and baby was strapped in, I don't see what can happen in 30 seconds. A baddie would have to be sure none of the mums coming out know you and your car/baby, which is an assumption they are not going to make.

Sb74 Sun 17-Mar-19 15:17:51

I have done this and locked them in. Only been gone a minute. I think it’s fine. The worst case I saw was a car parked outside a big supermarket with 3 young children in it. Windows down and doors unlocked. Car keys in car with engine switched on!! The car was left switched on for air con apparently as it was summer and the water was dripping out it had been on so long. I spoke to the eldest child who said his mum has been five minutes, obviously primed as to what to say. I alerted the shop staff and a member of staff stood with the children until the mum returned with a trolley full of bags. The store manager explained there had been a complaint and she shouldn’t leave her kids like that. She didn’t think she had done any wrong as the oldest was 7 and the youngest, ababy, was asleep. She’s lucky we didn’t call the police. Maybe we should have but I’m hoping she got the message this was wrong.

bubblegumunicorn Sun 17-Mar-19 15:11:41

Ultimately you're not being unreasonable but you might have broken the law! Number 21 here! I would say as long as you were really quick you should be fine though!

FrayedLife Sun 17-Mar-19 11:54:10

YANBU. Most responsible parents perform a conscious or unconscious risk assessment in these scenarios based on the series of factors known only to them in the context of daily life. Your TA sounds like a PITA or fresh from her NVQ and I’d be tempted to talk to the school about her approach to parents.

Oakenbeach Sun 17-Mar-19 10:18:49

“Isn’t strictly necessary” not “is strictly necessary”

icanbewhatiwant Sun 17-Mar-19 09:59:20

I haven’t read all the replies. But I thought you were going to say while you did your shopping.
I used to leave my youngest in the car at school pick up every day. The car was in sight, I suppose my back was turned while waiting but I’d keep looking back. I was literally 10 seconds spring away.

Oakenbeach Sun 17-Mar-19 09:14:46


Your crass comments concerning the McCanns only goes to confirm that you lack judgment. Perhaps you should report to SS those parents who drive their children to school when this is strictly necessary, thus placing them at unnecessary risk of a car accident. Given the number of road deaths isn’t this a more significant safeguarding concern?!

DeniseRoyal Sun 17-Mar-19 08:39:17

Totally fine OP, most of my friends with babies do this, as did I when dd was little. Ignore the pearl clutchers and doom merchants!

Oakenbeach Sun 17-Mar-19 08:35:39

I'd be willing to bet that more children have died in house fires overnight than in a parked car for 30 seconds while mum runs over the road.

Absolutely, if parents really cared about their kids they’d take turns to stand guard over them all night with a fire extinguisher in hand hmm

youknowmedontyou Sun 17-Mar-19 08:23:06

@scubadive that typically over dramatised daily fail story was when the engine was turned on, wouldn't ever have occurred when the a sleeping child was left in the car. The other situation despite a google search I cannot find, perhaps you could link?

So based on your risk assessments, it's more risky driving, if you don't want your children to be in danger I suggest you stop now? Because if it's risk based that your concerned with, that's your only option. Crossing roads is pretty high risk as well, even at a crossing, I've seen stories of people being knocked down at crossings.

Zbag Sun 17-Mar-19 08:09:29

I'd be willing to bet that more children have died in house fires overnight than in a parked car for 30 seconds while mum runs over the road.

Oakenbeach Sun 17-Mar-19 08:08:45

Or simply driving.... there were 1,792 fatalities on the road in 2016 (can’t find anything more recent). Surely if we’re calling out risky behaviour then the fact that a car was being used in the first place is the FAR bigger issue.

Zbag Sun 17-Mar-19 08:07:34


Oakenbeach Sun 17-Mar-19 08:04:57

See link to this car fire in Tesco supermarket with 2 children inside

The car didn’t combust spontaneously though,
but when it was turned on.

I could equally find a story about a tragic night-time house fire and try to claim that sleeping in a house is too risky!

scubadive Sun 17-Mar-19 07:36:16

Definitely not ok.

See link to this car fire in Tesco supermarket with 2 children inside.

There was also a case a couple of years ago where 2 children died in a car fire outside their house where they had been left sleeping. The car had just burst into flames. I can’t people people still do this when the dangers have been publicised.

Ginseng1 Sat 16-Mar-19 23:08:36

I used to do it. Like that run down for school child while baby sleeping in car in school car park. I got berated once by my neighbour (an old one whose known me since I was little) Christmas eve I'd run into the chemist for 5 mins parked direct outside & viewable. My 2 & 4 yr old awake in car. She was shouting saying she could report me i said happy Christmas n walked off. She's a cranky so n so. Her daughter in laws kids in our school n she used to leave up to 3 kids in car while she ran down to pick up her oldest from school! I don't give two hoots what she thought or anyone else for that matter & am always very suspect of preachers like this woman. There are genuine neglect cases out there why not go after those.

Mississippilessly Sat 16-Mar-19 22:31:17

I love that Eat keeps coming on, telling people.not to call them names, then called people names, then leaves again.

Tonsilss Sat 16-Mar-19 21:52:54

Hover over your own kids if you must, but don't accuse the rest of us of child neglect and report us to Social Services. Ok? Then we'll see whose kids turn out best. Different parenting styles, neither puts the child at any significant risk.

Pegnes Sat 16-Mar-19 21:45:57

I don’t think this is unreasonable.

Like someone said it’s no different to paying for fuel.

I have left baby asleep in the car outside my house (car on the driveway) if she has fallen asleep and i check on her every 5 minutes. Sometimes i do go and sit in the car with her while she sleeps. I’ve also gone in a shop to buy some bread while she’s been asleep in the car outside. I must add it is a small shop and i can see the car from the shop. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do!!

GeeksCanBeMumsToo Sat 16-Mar-19 21:32:55

I lock the car of course!

GeeksCanBeMumsToo Sat 16-Mar-19 21:29:27

YANBU in fact it’s probably more dangerous getting them out and crossing roads with a grumpy kid. I do this at petrol stations regularly—they’re protected by a lot more when in the car, especially in a car seat than not. Even if they wake up, the worst thing that could happen is that they cry for a bit.

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