To think this woman is rude?(77 Posts)
So this morning as I was walking back up the road (quiet cul de sac) after taking my children to school, my neighbour who lives at the top (late 60's, Head of the neighbourhood, chief gossiper) opens her window and shouts to me "When's your baby due?"
I'm NOT pregnant.
I'm slightly over weight (but only slightly and have actually LOST weight recently).
I just answered "I'm not having a baby".
She then put her hand to her mouth in exaggerated shock, and said "Oh. Really? We all thought you were!" Then she added with a laugh, "You've just put weight on then have you!"
I didn't say anything and went into the house.
I'm guessing she's drawn that conclusion because I've recently started wearing tunic style dresses with think black tights (not maternity ones obviously but she wouldn't know that) just because I feel comfortable in them (I don't feel right in jeans or trousers. That's just my preference).
I'm not going to change the way I dress as that's the style I feel happy/ comfortable with.
I have so much going on at the moment and currently having counselling as I suffer from depression and panic attacks, so I am trying to brush this one under the carpet as it really is a minor issue in the grand scheme of things.
I just wondered if anyone else had ever been in this situation (where someone asked if you were pregnant and when you were not) and how you dealt with it.
I know I would never dream of asking another woman when her baby was due unless I was 100% certain she was having one!
After I came back into the house, I saw her doing her rounds, going around all the houses (I'm guessing to tell them the news that I'm not pregnant after all and "just put weight on").
For the record I'm 43 and a single mum.
Full time carer to my youngest who is severely disabled.
No reason for anyone to jump to the conclusion I would be having another baby (apart from the tunic dresses which I refuse to give up wearing as I love them).
She must have a very small world if she goes round to the neighbours telling them that you aren't pregnant.
Ignore her and be grateful that you aren't rude and pathetic like she is
I've been asked when I'm due before ... I'm a size 8 😂😂😂😂 I have IBS and I can tell you it was pure gas buildup.
Makes you feel like shit though so keep on keeping on
An ex colleague of mine told lots of people I was pregnant (I wasn’t) when I decided to wear a couple of loose dresses to work, I just happened to like them and they were comfy sitting at a desk all day. I was stunned when someone came up to me and congratulated me as ex colleague had told her I was pregnant. I’m afraid I didn’t deal with it well and shouted at her in front of everyone, but she was kind of person who deserved it as she had a nasty streak and never let the truth get in the way of a good story
Just saying "when are you due" would be one thing. Silly, but possibly a mistake. Her responses are really telling though... Making it sound like everyone's gossiping about you, then saying you've put on weight... What a horrid woman.
The year after I got married, I gained about 3 stone.
I lost it after joining weight watchers.
I hadn't any children at that time, but I hadn't been in a local shop in some time and popped in for some milk.
The lady behind the till was lovely and friendly and asked how I was and how well I was looking....
The next day she said to my sister "I saw Border yestersay and she looks a million dollars, but I forgot to ask her if it was a boy or a girl she had!"
My sister told me!! I cried. She said she was telling me to press home how far I had come, but it hurt me rather than flattered me.
Some really great responses suggested on this thread.
Nasty rude old cow! Really angers me how so many people are so nasty these days, humans really are bloody horrible!
Definitely the tunic. Thinking about it, it has only happened to me (two or three times) when I've been wearing "pregnancy" style clothes and it's been irrespective of my size or age then. Still bloody rude. And don't stop wearing the tunics. They are extremely comfortable.
Someone did tell me they thought I was "very brave having another one so quickly" when I was holding my two week old baby in my arms.... Um yes, I managed to get myself 7 month pregnant whilst pregnant.... Just goes to show people really do say stupid things.
"oh so you arent dead? We all thought you were harhar"
She was meaning to be rude, because you wouldnt follow up with how she did if the person responds they arent pregnant, you would want the ground to swallow you up! And tbh OP i doubt anyone else thinks it, more than likely just her being a bitch!
Rude and spiteful. Sounds like the only way she can feel good about herself is to make someone else feel bad. It’s hard not to take it to heart but try as hard as you can to ignore her. She sounds a mean, unpleasant gossipy woman.
This happnned to me once, bitchy woman being snide and I said - oh no, I've got Ovarian Cancer to make her feel guilty. She did look very shocked.
Some great replies here to put her in her place.....people only ever get away with this sort of rudeness because noone calls them on it.
Hate it when others say oh its just their way ,take no notice....
I have decided to call out a couple of people out on Wednesday at a local group I go to....they sit snigger and make fun of some others in the room.....I will say do you want to share with the whole room what you have just said
Ignore her OP, ignore her for the rest of her life.
Next time you see her say oh I thought you died!
* Recently a man offered me his seat on the tube and I said no I'm fine thanks, getting off in a minute and he said your entitled to the priority seat and pointed to the picture of a pregnant woman...I just said no I'm fine, still stung a bit!* I get offered a seat so infrequently on public transport that nowadays I just smile, thank them and enjoy taking the weight off. They get to feel good and I avoid being squashed by the other people standing. Win! Win! And I'm definitely not pregnant! 😀
She knows you're not pregnant, she only said that to be bitchy.
Next time you see her ask her when her birthday is, is she doing anything nice to celebrate her 80th birthday????
Rude old bat - please don't give her any headspace. also feel free to totally ignore her from now on - she doesn't sound like someone you need to give any energy to!
Wow! Some people eh?
Reminds me of an incident a few years back. A woman comes flying into our office, takes one look at my colleague ‘congratulations, two kids are better than one and you’ll find the next one easier - you look well on it - you must be due in a few months’ - breezes out.
Colleague wasn’t pregnant.
fizzy perfect! Do it OP.
What a horrible, nasty cow. And putting manners on other people whilst shouting out of the window
Honestly you are well Within your rights to say something very sharp back to her if she tries to put you down again - do not put up with it. It’s bullying of the first order
It’s made me feel really sad for you having so much to deal with and a nasty old busybody like her pestering you to boot.
If she goes to smugly fire another round at you, pretend you were flattered that she thought you were young enough to be having another.
The likes of her hate it if you can turn around their insults.
It's not normal to be so socially uninhibited you shout things like this out of your window. She's pitiable. Focus on that and make less of the assumption of pregnancy and what you think it says about your weight (I am slim all over but have a tummy and I do look 'possibly pregnant' in some clothes. But it's not a deficit and a flat stomach isn't an achievement).
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