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To complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

(672 Posts)
MissHooliesCardigan Sun 21-Aug-16 09:48:03

I took DS2 to the zoo yesterday. It's taken me years to get it into his head that he only plays with his willy in private. About half the male primates were rubbing their dicks on tree branches and one was standing right up against the glass having a good old tug.
Then, as soon as we entered the reptile house, we were greeted by the sight of 2 giant tortoises shagging.
AIBU to ask the zoo to put warning up for visitors?

PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 21-Aug-16 09:49:37

You're joking right?

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Sun 21-Aug-16 09:49:59

Really? Yabu. You can't control animal behaviour. (Especially captive animal behaviour.)Let them enjoy what little they have got.

technosausage Sun 21-Aug-16 09:50:10

Here's a hard hat and a grip>>>> you might need them.

bomfunk Sun 21-Aug-16 09:50:11


PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 21-Aug-16 09:50:22

Teach your son the difference between animal and human behaviour. It's not difficult.

user1471428758 Sun 21-Aug-16 09:50:48


insancerre Sun 21-Aug-16 09:51:03

Yes please complain
Do it on their Facebook page and link to their rely

Vixxfacee Sun 21-Aug-16 09:51:16

Does seeing a dog poo in the park make your child start shitting on the grass?

You're not serious.

Queenbean Sun 21-Aug-16 09:51:19


I was waiting for a good juicy thread to start, there has been far too much boring stuff recently. Thank you OP!!

SaggyNaggy Sun 21-Aug-16 09:51:24

They're animals you should expect to see animals behaving like animals when you go to see animals.

I went to monkey world once and there was a monkey of some description swinging on a bar and urinating. It was hilarious to watch people diving out of the way before getting soaked by monkey piss.

glitterwhip Sun 21-Aug-16 09:51:28

What would the warning say? Watch out for the wanking monkeys? I mean they are animals ..animals behave like this in the wild ..maybe don't take your kid to the zoo if it bothers you that much

elQuintoConyo Sun 21-Aug-16 09:51:34


WARNING: wild animals held in captive being wild animals.

WARNING: you may see animals engaging in natural acts.

WARNING: if you see anything natural, cover DC's eyes.

tigerdriverII Sun 21-Aug-16 09:51:34



Banana99 Sun 21-Aug-16 09:51:46

beware wanking monkeys

RainyDayBear Sun 21-Aug-16 09:51:51

Bloody hell, animals behaving like animals. What exactly would you want this warning to say?

Funclesmuck Sun 21-Aug-16 09:51:52

I really hope this is real. OP this is probably the best laugh I've had all weekend.

RandomDent Sun 21-Aug-16 09:51:55

Darn those opposable thumbs.

pudcat Sun 21-Aug-16 09:52:00

You have been using too many Club card vouchers or you are really Ruth Jones haha wink

pointythings Sun 21-Aug-16 09:52:02

grin I still have hilarious memories of taking DDs and a friend to the zoo and being treated to the sight of two zebras at it. Legend. This is what zoos are for!

Sparklingbrook Sun 21-Aug-16 09:52:03


Hopefully this is a light-hearted thread and you know that.

LolBeansandSalad Sun 21-Aug-16 09:52:56

Pretty sure the OP is joking...

I'm gutted, I've seen this a lot but I thought it was just me that drove the monkeys wild with lust

fastdaytears Sun 21-Aug-16 09:52:59


Wanking monkeys

Don't monkeys also throw theirshit around? You'll be in for a long week if your DS saw that!

Can you imagine what the sign would say...

TheJiminyConjecture Sun 21-Aug-16 09:53:16

I really hope this ends up in the daily fail with suitable sad face pose next to the wanking monkey!

insancerre Sun 21-Aug-16 09:53:19

Beware of the wanking monkeys and fucking tortoises
That should suffice

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