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To think its there is nothing wrong with a 14 year old wearing drynites

(78 Posts)
Nymeria01 Tue 19-Aug-14 11:10:10

I was having a chat with my friend during which she brought up that her 5 y/o is still in nappies at night. To make her feel better I said that DS1 is 14 and still wears drynites as he wets the bed almost every night. She said in the most judgemental way that "at 14 nappies should not be in the picture" and that "of course he is going to wet the bed if he wears them". I felt like crying afterwords, I wouldn't have brought it up if I wasn't trying to make her feel better and then she makes me feel like a bad parent.

PenisesAreNotPink Tue 19-Aug-14 11:11:30

How awful

I'm sure you've been to the doctor, tried everything there. Asked for a referral to a specialist etc.

YouTheCat Tue 19-Aug-14 11:11:54

Your 'friend' is a twat.

I'm presuming you've gone down the route of doctors etc.

HermioneWeasley Tue 19-Aug-14 11:13:34

Was going to say the same as others - your "friend"'s reaction is shocking and very cruel, but it is unusual for a 14 year old to not be dry at night and I assume you've sought medical advice over it.

MissMilbanke Tue 19-Aug-14 11:15:05

I think you know now that this is not what a 'true' friend would say.

macdoodle Tue 19-Aug-14 11:15:17

But it's isn't really "normal" at this age unless there are special needs? How does he manage with friends, sleep overs etc, your friend was insensitive but right?

Nymeria01 Tue 19-Aug-14 11:15:19

Yep, been to the doctors and been referred to specialist multiple times. Their has been little difference. They

Terrierterror Tue 19-Aug-14 11:16:08

Really? You shared sensitive medical about your 14 year old?

cailindana Tue 19-Aug-14 11:16:12

Wow, nasty friend.

I would say that while wearing drynites isn't wrong, I would hope you have had plenty of help from the doctor in trying to address why your 14 year old struggles to stay dry.

LapsedPacifist Tue 19-Aug-14 11:16:33

Your friend is very stupid, no? Why worry about what a very stupid person has to say about your child?

cailindana Tue 19-Aug-14 11:17:57

X-post. Drynites are the way to go for the moment to keep your DS dry and comfortable but I would absolutely push for further intervention to figure out why he can't stay dry. It will be a major problem for him as he gets older.

wonkylegs Tue 19-Aug-14 11:18:22

Are you addressing DSs bed wetting in other ways as well as the drynites?
For his personal esteem at the very least I would be tackling this.
2 of my siblings had issues with being dry at night til late on and we went through a lot to tackle it. It affected their lives quite a lot with regards to going to friends/holidays/camp etc
With help though they both tackled it & my as we addressed it with my sis quicker than we did with my brother (due to experience) it really helped her.

ludog Tue 19-Aug-14 11:19:51

I was a bed wetter till I was 15. I'd have loved the option of dry-nites. I hate the assumption that it's laziness on the child's part too. For a chronic wetter it's a much bigger issue than laziness. Your friend is a tit.

wonkylegs Tue 19-Aug-14 11:21:17

Your friends response was insensitive. However I'm not sure I would have shared the info. Your DSs situation is exceptional rather than normal & he is of an age where he would be especially sensitive about other people knowing.

Nymeria01 Tue 19-Aug-14 11:25:07

If I could take back the information I shared I would. I did share it with the best intention of making her feel better. It is not often that I meat someone in a situation that could identify with mine. On this basis I thought that we would be able to discuss the problem as adults.

SylvaniansKeepGettingHoovered Tue 19-Aug-14 11:28:38

I would actually think there is probably something quite wrong, and I'd assume something which is being looked into. She probably said it out of shock - I would be momentarily very taken aback if someone told me their 14 year old was wearing night nappies. In a few more years he'll be an adult.

I'm sure it must be very difficult having a son in nappies at night, I hope it gets sorted out for his sake but I think your friend was in shock sorry.

rumbleinthejungle Tue 19-Aug-14 11:30:40

My DS is 14 and has only been dry for a few months. He had a growth spurt and the hormone/chemical his body was lacking kicked in. He used to wear pyjama pants for sleepovers and always take a sleeping bag with an absorbent sheet in and duplicate pyjamas.

Your friend is insensitive but I think you've been far more insensitive than her. The information wasn't yours to share. DS would've been mortified if I'd ever told anyone. He decided it was 'our secret' and we'd deal with it. I was even economical with the truth when he had to go to the clinic and told school he had a medical appointment or scheduled his appointments for school holidays.

I think you've let you DS down by discussing it. Hopefully because DS knows I respected his wishes he'll feel comfortable confiding with me about other things in the future.

Aheadofyourtime Tue 19-Aug-14 11:31:39

Hope this gets sorted soon.

Don't share problems about our dc of a personal nature..out of respect for them.

Aheadofyourtime Tue 19-Aug-14 11:33:32

Your dc

Terrierterror Tue 19-Aug-14 11:34:32

I understand that but as your child is now 14 it's not your information to share.

Obviously there's nothing wrong with your DS using drynites and it's an issue that affects loads of older children and teens and often runs in families but even on this thread you've had people who don't understand that.

Terrierterror Tue 19-Aug-14 11:36:34

I understand that you were trying to do a kind thing and empathise with her but too many people are arseholes.

hellokittymania Tue 19-Aug-14 11:37:22

Your friend was horrible to say that.

sleepyhead Tue 19-Aug-14 11:37:35

Your friend is a cock. I hope she feels ashamed of herself.

Nocturnal enuresis is a condition that can persist into adulthood.

sleepyhead Tue 19-Aug-14 11:39:16

And no, there's nothing wrong with a 14 yr old wearing drynites as I'm sure your ds's continence nurse has told him.

juliascurr Tue 19-Aug-14 11:46:42

your friend was very insensitive
two of dd's friends have had these probs as teenagers on sleepovers - so as AN ADULT (well, sometimes) I found a way of dealing with the situation without embarrassing them more than they were already
fgs, it's only a bit of wee
as I have rediscovered as an MS sufferer grin

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