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Who would think this was a sensible option?

(107 Posts)
Thistledew Mon 18-Aug-14 11:11:10

At a wedding this weekend. The wedding breakfast was a hog roast, so guests were asked in advance if they wanted a vegetarian option.

MIL is vegetarian, so requested this option. The food was served buffet style, so we all went up to collect our meal. MIL says "Please can I have the vegetarian option - what is it?"




I'm still boggling as to who might have selected this. I know that some 'vegetarians' or rather pescetarians eat fish, but surely it is common knowledge that most many vegetarians don't? Who would have thought it a good idea?

Fortunately, she didn't go hungry as there were several salads served as accompaniment although there had been no veggie canapés but she had to fend of several enquiries from her friend, the mother of the groom, as to whether she had enjoyed her meal!

AIBU to think this was rather bonkers?

lettertoherms Mon 18-Aug-14 11:14:19

I'm a vegetarian, and the amount of people who assume I eat fish - or sometimes chicken (?!) is staggering.

It's ridiculous but it doesn't surprise me at all.

HoldenMcGroin Mon 18-Aug-14 11:16:40


People have ODD ideas around food, misconceptions abound

For eg: I know it's very common for eggs to be classed by people wrongly as dairy - a thicko person spots a dairy-free cake in a cafe, then gets all het up because it contains egg (true story)

lorriehearts Mon 18-Aug-14 11:17:28

Nope, YANBU. The day salmon is declared a vegetable will be the day YABU. People including fish and seafood as "vegetarian" is one of my all-time, actual vegetarian pet hates!

As a veggie, you do sometimes run the risk of there not being suitable food for you, which, y'know, fair enough. But if the hosts of the wedding said that there would be a veggie option and then failed to provide one, that's a bit shoddy.

ApprenticeViper Mon 18-Aug-14 11:19:51


Not wanting to put it too bluntly, but if someone tells me they are vegetarian, my immediate assumption (whether rightly or wrongly) is that they wouldn't eat anything that had a face. I certainly wouldn't think fish (including shellfish) was a suitable option for them.

BringMeSunshine2014 Mon 18-Aug-14 11:19:59

It's down to all the idiots who say 'I'm vegetarian'...then proceed to order chicken and fish. Idiots.

I had the same recently, I ended up with a plain bread roll. C'est la vie.

lettertoherms Mon 18-Aug-14 11:20:31

Ooh, or the people that are astounded I don't eat meat, but would eat a tiny innocent baby chicken, in the form of an egg.

Um, there's a difference between a fertilized and unfertilized egg!

I don't eat baby chicks!

Nancy66 Mon 18-Aug-14 11:21:50

can't say I'm surprised. so many people still don't 'get' what vegetarianism is.

puntasticusername Mon 18-Aug-14 11:23:22

I know someone who claims to be a vegetarian, and gets very upset if you are catering for her and don't provide her with a fully, properly vegetarian option.

However, when choosing off a menu for herself, she will order fish if it looks nice. She will eat beef, pork or lamb as long as the restaurant seems like the kind of place that probably uses organic, free-range, happy animals (though she rarely goes as far as actually asking to make sure). And if there's nothing else on the menu she fancies, she'll go for the chicken.

But fgs don't EVER dare to suggest she's not actually a real vegetarian hmm

SaucyJack Mon 18-Aug-14 11:25:27


I should imagine those who are outraged at a dairy-free cake containing eggs are looking at it from a vegan perspective- which isn't thick or illogical in the slightest.

poisonedbypen Mon 18-Aug-14 11:25:46

I recently contacted a family member as his family were coming for a meal. I said that I knew he had said his daughter was vegetarian & that she had food allergies (including nuts), so I wanted to check what she was ok with before planning the menu. He agreed that yes, she was veggie, but would eat chicken. WTF?

Thistledew Mon 18-Aug-14 11:25:52

I'm just surprised that so many people must have thought this was an ok idea - bride and groom, mother of the groom who is close friends with MIL and has eaten with her for years and years - and then all the professional caterers. Did none of them think to query whether or not a vegetarian would eat fish? confused

DorothyGherkins Mon 18-Aug-14 11:26:19

We took out a group of kids for a party once, two of them requested the veggie option. What did they bring them? Peperami pizza!

superbagpuss Mon 18-Aug-14 11:26:36

I think there is an issue that every vegetarian eat different things.

I am a pescipailian (sp?) as I eat tuna and prawns, but no meat or most other fish.

I often say vegetarian as people have more understanding of what this is and as I only eat a very small number of fish it's just easier all round.

At a wedding, if I was served salmon I would go hungry.

HoldenMcGroin Mon 18-Aug-14 11:32:28

Oh no ofc not, Saucy, but would why do folk expect a cake labelled as dairy free to be egg free too?

wowfudge Mon 18-Aug-14 11:35:27

YADNBU OP - a vegetarian eats no meat or fish. Anyone who says they are a vegetarian and proceeds to eat any meat or any fish of any description is NOT a vegetarian. Why people can't just say, 'I only eat white fish' or some such, I do not know. Confuses the issue.

I'd be very surprised of the caterers didn't know what a vegetarian was - then again maybe not, depends how parochial they are/how much they really know about food. We use caterers where I work and I asked them for ideas for a large finger food buffet we had to cater. I took about 2% of their ideas and had to tell them what we wanted for the rest as they had no clue. That's what happens when the local sandwich shop does outside catering.

SaucyJack Mon 18-Aug-14 11:38:59

Um, for the reason I just said?

Vegans classify eggs in with dairy. I should imagine many a vegan has been disappointed in the past by food that has been labelled "dairy-free" (prob for lactose-intolerance purposes) still containing eggs which they cannot eat.

Dukketeater Mon 18-Aug-14 11:41:27

YANBU but I can see how people think like that, at my wedding we had meat, fish or veggie option... All three veggies (none related) chose the fish!

HoldenMcGroin Mon 18-Aug-14 11:43:26

Ah, I see. I still think that eggs (from chickens) and dairy (from cows) are seperate issues wrt labelling, and am surprised that vegans think that dairy covers eggs. Every day is a school day!

pinkyredrose Mon 18-Aug-14 11:49:24

Um vegans don't classify eggs in with dairy!

lettertoherms Mon 18-Aug-14 11:51:16

Vegans don't think eggs are dairy! Eggs and dairy are simply both things they don't eat.

ShadowStar Mon 18-Aug-14 11:55:57


Although having come across a number of 'vegetarians' who happily eat fish, I'm not all that surprised.

ShadowStar Mon 18-Aug-14 12:02:21

SaucyJack - surely egg free and dairy free are two completely separate things? If it's suitable for vegans, then wouldn't you expect it to be labelled as such, rather than simply egg and dairy free?

Having said that, I have come across cakes (at a farmer's market) which were labelled as suitable for vegans and had egg whites on the ingredient list. The lady on the stall just didn't seem to understand why this might be a problem when I pointed this out.

exexpat Mon 18-Aug-14 12:02:32

I'm vegetarian and have had the fish-as-veggie-option scenario far too many times, though not as much in recent years, and would have been stuck at that wedding. My DCs are pescetarian (don't eat meat but do eat fish/seafood) so would have been fine.

Maybe the vegetarian society or someone should start an information campaign to popularise the use of the word pescetarian as opposed to fake vegetarian-who-eats-fish?

scarletforya Mon 18-Aug-14 12:21:55

This boggles my brain. Was it professionally catered?

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