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To not understand how some people afford to have so many children?

(406 Posts)
KiKiFrance Tue 05-Aug-14 15:19:23

I mean this as a genuine question, but how the heck do they do it?

We have 3 DCs as that was all we could afford, yet I know families that have only one very average income that just seem to keep having children, and affording nice things, activities and holidays too.

Someone I know has just had her fifth baby. They are very early thirties and her DH works in a supermarket, and she is a SAHM, so obviously not on a high income, yet they always have nice clothes, the older children to lots of activities, they have a lovely new build house which is decorated beautifully, always eat out, and they bought all new (expensive) baby equipment for baby #5. She has also said to me that they'll have a sixth baby at some point, and possibly a seventh too!

The other person that I know has 4 children. Her DH is a chef but is always in and out of work, but again they seem to have such nice things, and her children to lots of activities and clubs. One of her sons has just had a huge birthday disco in a hall, and she said it cost over £300. They too are planning to have more children.

Our income is good, yet we generally can't afford half the things that they can, and certainly could never have afforded a 4th child, even though I would have quite liked another baby.

timeforanappychange Tue 05-Aug-14 15:22:08

You never know where other people get extra money from (eg family, inheritance), or whether they're living on credit.

A lot of people use credit cards to boost their finances, so it might seem like they have loads of money coming in but half of their expenses might be on credit!

KiKiFrance Tue 05-Aug-14 15:23:09

The one with 5 kids probably does get a bit of help from her parents as they seem quite well off

OpiesOldLady Tue 05-Aug-14 15:23:09

Do they have big flat screen TV's too? If so, they are probably fiddling the system hmm

Terrible thing, envy.

TeWiSavesTheDay Tue 05-Aug-14 15:24:12

There are so many different variables in people's lives it's impossible to say without having a good look at someone's accounts!

On the nice side maybe they had a secret lottery win, on the negative maybe a massive pike of debt.

Try not to get too focused on comparisons, you'll only stress yourself out for no real gain.

Viviennemary Tue 05-Aug-14 15:27:31

A lot of people are propped up by parents. Some people are in to a bit of dodgy dealing on the side.

MissBeans Tue 05-Aug-14 15:28:00

Tax credits; rich parents or credit cards/loans

Long term these people and their children will suffer: teenagers are very expensive!

MorphineDreams Tue 05-Aug-14 15:28:39

Tax credits.

DiaDuit Tue 05-Aug-14 15:29:01

it is impossible for anyone other than the couple in question to tell you how OP. no-one here knows their finances or circumstances. stop letting it take up space in your head and put it down to their circumstances and decisions being different to yours and that's that. you'll be far happier in life if you forget about what others do or don't have that you do or don't want.

MissBeans Tue 05-Aug-14 15:29:12

YANBU btw, we only have two as that's all we could afford and cope with.

MorphineDreams Tue 05-Aug-14 15:29:42

I think very few people can genuinely afford to have a baby. You just have to take the plunge and deal with it.

FrankSaysNo Tue 05-Aug-14 15:31:20

Tax credits, housing benefit. All adds up. No one seems to have to pay for anything themselves these days, it's all subsidised

elliejjtiny Tue 05-Aug-14 15:34:30

We have 5 DC on just DH's fairly low wage. We don't have lots of "stuff" though. PIL paid for us to go on holiday with them last year, it was our first holiday in 3 years. The DC mostly wear hand me down clothes and we don't do big birthday parties.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine Tue 05-Aug-14 15:39:14

Babies and young children are piss cheap.

We have 4 and really felt it through the teen years and then uni years. Those are the years you really feel the financial hike on clothes, holidays, gadgets, uniform, endless endless food etc.

expatinscotland Tue 05-Aug-14 15:45:48

No idea. Plenty of them, though.

SorryForTheTypos Tue 05-Aug-14 16:00:47

I'm really nosey and forever wondered how a new aquaintance could afford the beautiful house and lifestyle when she didn't work and her husband had a bog standard manual job. Turned out he'd sold his business about 3 years earlier and made an absolute shedload. What I thought was his bog standard job was him site managing for the firm he used to own.

Also, I know a couple who got to gether in their late 30s. She had kids already and had full ownership of house under divorce settlement. He sold his flat which had loads of equity. Mortgage free, loadsof money in the bank. She is SAHM and now they've 6 kids between them. He does the same job as my husband, I work and 2 kids was a stretch for us!

My friend and her husband met around age 26. Both sold their starter homes around yr 2003 and made a packet each. Were able to put their combined equity together and buy a MASSIVE house which they've now paid off.

So, combo of luck, hard work, timing...and yes I'm jealous! grin

LuisSuarezTeeth Tue 05-Aug-14 16:17:05

It's a good question. I think as pp have said, could be all kinds of reasons, you only see a snapshot of people's lives.

I'd have thought 3 was a lot as well!

I think sometimes it's different priorities too - you don't know what they're cutting back on in order to finance the things they do. You might not even assume they'd cut back on them because for you they're always something you do or buy.

Thefishewife Tue 05-Aug-14 16:23:12

Yanbu the only people these days that can have very large families are people on welfare and very well off people

So your answer is if they are not very well off then usually they can't and it's funded by the tax payer

Snatchoo Tue 05-Aug-14 16:24:03

We'd be soooooo much richer if we didn't have any debt! Credit card and loans are crippling - but I admit this is our own fault.

fizzylime Tue 05-Aug-14 16:26:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JackShit Tue 05-Aug-14 16:27:56

I'm always amazed by the number of 3, 4, 5, 6+ child families on here and in RL! Not affordability wise, but from a Planet Earth pov. Lots of heads in the sand about the issue of over population.

Babyroobs Tue 05-Aug-14 16:29:48

We have 4 children. We both work around each other ( i work nights , weekends , evenings) so no childcare costs. We have an average income. We have a 4 bedroom house but it needsa lot doing to it. We have a holiday each year but the only time we have been abroad was when sadly my mil died and left my dh a small amount of money. We don't splash out extravagantly on kids birthdays. It worries me how eapensive the kids are becoming now they are teenagers, 3 huge teenage boys to feed ad taking mens size clothing and shoes. they are certainly a lot cheaper when they are little. I agree that lots of low income families are being hugely topped up by benefits, the more kids you have the more it goes up. We don't claim any tax credits or anything like that, just child benefit which the vast majority of families still get.

redshifter Tue 05-Aug-14 16:31:38

Thefishewife will probably get called a benefit basher but in many cases she is correct. For people in certain situations their income can increase dramatically with each child.

Some people choose not to have more kids as money will be very tight, other look at their situation and realise they can have more kids, work less hours and have more money to to spend. Sounds crazy but it can often be true.

Not benefit bashing but it is just the way it is sometimes.

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