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To think that our children aren't safe in general and we need to be super vigilant ?

(201 Posts)
cafebistro Tue 17-Jun-14 22:22:52

I don't think in being unreasonable or paranoid after today. My friend and I went into town on a shopping trip with our children. My dd is 4 years old and my friend dd is just a baby. We were walking through town and has to stop along with a crowd of other shoppers at a level crossing for a good 5 minutes. During this time I noticed a guy looking at my dd. No actually he was eyeing her up and down. I quietly said something to my friend and she said alarmed "he's leering at her". I kept her close , she was messing with her dress and I was frantically pulling it down. I kept checking and he was still doing it, staring. Anyway the level crossing was clear and we carried on walking into a shop. Then I noticed the guy had followed us in. A little while later I was looking at something on shelves and then quickly turned round and the guy was right behind me , he jumped as in shock and moved away.

I'm in shock. I know the guy didn't actually do anything but I think this is the first time I've ever felt that my child may have been under threat. I actually felt like saying to this man "what is your problem! If you come near my child again ...."

I honestly don't think I was being paranoid .

AnyoneForTennis Tue 17-Jun-14 22:24:55

In general, yes! Our children are safe

brokenhearted55a Tue 17-Jun-14 22:26:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FiveFingerDeathPunch Tue 17-Jun-14 22:26:54

wow over reaction or what

phantomnamechanger Tue 17-Jun-14 22:27:29


usualsuspectt Tue 17-Jun-14 22:27:43

I think he might have just been going to the same shop as you.

boxprince Tue 17-Jun-14 22:28:06

What did he actually do? Nothing.

Janethegirl Tue 17-Jun-14 22:28:40

Suggest a slight over-reaction by the OP.

TheReluctantCountess Tue 17-Jun-14 22:30:17

What did you think he would have done if you hadn't turned around?

cafebistro Tue 17-Jun-14 22:30:28

Er ok. I agree most people are uninterested in other peoples children but there are a small percentage of adults that are veryuch interested in children in general. Btw I have been mum for several years and I've never had the feeling I had today off this guy.

Ziggyzoom Tue 17-Jun-14 22:31:22

Is it possible you were seeing issues that weren't really there?

phantomnamechanger Tue 17-Jun-14 22:31:57

either - he happened to be walking down the same road heading to the same shop as you, and YOU scared HIM, by the way - he said or did nothing!

or, you had a genuine gut feeling that something was not right, and ought to report to police non emergency, they may have CCTV and see if he appears to be following people with children.

I think it is much more likely to be the first option and I only mention the second as that's what I would be doing if someone had genuinely freaked me out, rather than posting frankly alarmist threads on a forum

HumptyDumptyBumpty Tue 17-Jun-14 22:32:05

Obviously, it's possible that he was innocently admiring your daughter.
But if you had a bad vibe, you're probably right. Trust your instincts, we have them for a reason. Well done for taking your daughter out of that situation. Hopefully it's a one off and the creep bloke will toddle off in front of a bus somewhere else. I wouldn't let it make you paranoid. There are fuckers, but most people are decent.

wafflyversatile Tue 17-Jun-14 22:32:39

our children are safer than they have been at any other time in history.

usualsuspectt Tue 17-Jun-14 22:33:15

I get he made you feel uncomfortable. But you can't live your life in fear.

CoffeeTea103 Tue 17-Jun-14 22:33:19

No you just sound paranoid. I don't think people who are a danger are so open about it anyway.

cafebistro Tue 17-Jun-14 22:34:00

I'm not sure what he would have done but you don't stand right up behind someone in an almost empty shop for no reason. It may seem slightly ridiculous.

sillystring Tue 17-Jun-14 22:34:13

You're ridiculous. I feel so sorry for ordinary guys just going about their business, standing at a level crossing, doing some shopping and generally living their lives with lunatics like you automatically assuming they're leering paedophiles. Grow up.

MrsBungle Tue 17-Jun-14 22:34:13

I've no idea about the man today but I think yabu to say that "in general" kids aren't safe. You've even said yourself this is the first incident you've had and you're an experienced parent.

Doinmummy Tue 17-Jun-14 22:34:29

I think it's wise to be vigilant when it comes to the safety of our children , as in , not letting them play with traffic, keeping bleach locked away, not giving them razor blades to play with etc.

Looking over your shoulder for potential abductors every time you go out will send you and them mad.

reluctantphotographer Tue 17-Jun-14 22:34:51

Maybe he was just looking at the wee girl messing with her dress and was wondering what she was doing? And then was going to the same shop as you?

commonorgarden Tue 17-Jun-14 22:34:52

Well you say 'in general' and then go on to describe a very specific situation. I would agree that that man's behaviour as you describe it may have made me perhaps slightly uncomfortable but it wouldn't lead me to think that there was a paedo on every corner.

AnyoneForTennis Tue 17-Jun-14 22:36:12

You are wishing a random man falls undera bus? hmm are you for real humpty?

Sillylass79 Tue 17-Jun-14 22:37:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IdaClair Tue 17-Jun-14 22:38:59

It is a good idea to listen to the little voice in the back of your head that tells you things are not right and move away from a situation if it makes you feel uncomfortable. That is a good thing to teach our children.

It is not a good idea to extrapolate from one very vague experience that our children are never or will never be safe.

Statistically your children are less safe with you than they are with a stranger in a shop.

The little voice is instinct and it is a good thing, and sometimes, yes, you run first and ask questions later. But the beauty of the conscious mind is being able to latterly apply reason. Otherwise we are no better than animals.

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