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To think a friend wouldn't make fun of what you wear?

(52 Posts)
TheWavesHaveCome Fri 13-Jun-14 13:54:18

Just a couple of examples -

I wore a beaded band around my head on a night out. Friend came late and shouted - what the fuck is that on your head.

I worn my Barbour coat with some Chelsea heeled boots and she mentioned at least twice how I looked like I was going horse riding.

I don't comment on what people wear (unless it's a compliment) and her comments will be put down to banter and me not taking a joke.

Aibu and too sensitive?

Chocotrekkie Fri 13-Jun-14 13:55:45

I think the horse riding one isn't too bad (nothing wrong with riding) but "what's on your head" is just rude.

saltpotlady Fri 13-Jun-14 13:56:16

I've just posted a very similar thread about a so-called friend of mine, who always comments on what I look like.

Perhaps we should introduce our friends to each other;sounds like they'd get along grin

sarahquilt Fri 13-Jun-14 13:56:34

She's jealous.

BlameItOnTheMoonlight Fri 13-Jun-14 13:57:24

I think, as a friend, she probably owed it to you to be honest if you looked silly (and, to be fair, the description sounds like maybe she had reason). However, there is a fine line between banter and mean. Perhaps she missed the mark?

Blindlyshining Fri 13-Jun-14 13:58:33

Oh I don't know.

I try and wear clothes that hide my fatness suit my shape and I suppose I'd really want to know if something I thought was flattering made me look grotesque. Or if what I thought was a bit boho actually screamed grandmother hand downs. I wouldn't expect a friend to mock me for having a different style, but I would like them to tell me if I looked ridiculous.

Welshmayhem Fri 13-Jun-14 13:58:39

Don't suppose you have recently tried to change your look and she feels a bit threatened by the "new" you?

I'm kind of speaking from bitter experience here.

TurtleyAmazing Fri 13-Jun-14 14:00:05

The thing i love about my friends is they are brutally honest and won't hesitate to tell me if i look like a knob.

Just like how they wont hesitate to tell me if i have something stuck in my teeth or have forgotten to use deodorant.

In return i do the same. my friend had some black and white stripey jeans on and i called her the doppler effect (big bag theory reference) all night. she didn't take it personally. I'm her friend and love her to bits and she knows this.

I think you're being a little too sensitive.

Hissy Fri 13-Jun-14 14:00:20

Is there some kind of 80s revival going on then? Headband? No!

<sorry, but someone had to tell you>


momb Fri 13-Jun-14 14:00:21

She has the northern wit. It's banter and she is trying to compliment you. Tell her that you don't get it and it hurts your feelings: she'll be mortified and stop it straight away.
It took me over 20 years to stop insulting strangers in an attempt to be funny and complimentary.

SunshineCloud Fri 13-Jun-14 14:01:34

I had a "friend" like this. It is a very passive aggressive way to behave. If I allowed any comments of such sort towards her, she used to get offended. I had to distance myself eventually from her , as this kind of comments moved on from my looks and style to my marriage and my job. Some people are just nasty for a sake of being nasty.

TheWavesHaveCome Fri 13-Jun-14 14:02:41

On my ipad so can't post photos or a clicky link. But it was like that but more subtle.

I am 20 btw

mommy2ash Fri 13-Jun-14 14:04:31

I would tell my friends if I thought they looked funny. I had one friend who thought it was acceptable to go every where covered in dog hair and smelling like horse shit. yes I told her.

TheWavesHaveCome Fri 13-Jun-14 14:05:22

Don't suppose you have recently tried to change your look and she feels a bit threatened by the "new" you?

I'm not sure, I usually dress quite drab and safe - think black dress on nights out, jeans and tshirt as casual. So sometimes I try different looks as to not be boring.

TheWavesHaveCome Fri 13-Jun-14 14:06:45

Posted the wrong link.

RoganJosh Fri 13-Jun-14 14:07:08

Head band is lovely.

I would guess she's jealous. Or trying to be funny and missing.
I wouldn't be happy if someone made either of those comments to me.

TheWavesHaveCome Fri 13-Jun-14 14:08:04

I would tell my friends if I thought they looked funny. I had one friend who thought it was acceptable to go every where covered in dog hair and smelling like horse shit. yes I told her.

Isn't that different surely? That's a hygiene issue.

LangenFlugelHappleHoff Fri 13-Jun-14 14:12:26

I would just laugh it off tbh. I had a friend who used to constantly put down what I was wearing only to mimic an outfit the next week. It was really frustrating but in the end I would just give a little quip back and move on.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Fri 13-Jun-14 14:16:21

I'd accept it if a friend said I was wearing something ill-advised or unflattering. But only if it was put politely and they pretended to have some care about my feelings. This friend doesn't give a shit about how what she says affects you and is determined to humiliate and embarrass you. Tell her, that with her most regrettable dress-sense, she should try looking in a mirror some time. And then tell her to go fuck herself.

justfoundout2014 Fri 13-Jun-14 14:20:54

I had a friend like that. Note use of past tense. She prided herself on being outspoken, and could be very funny, but often over-stepped the mark. I went on a weekend away with her and some other friends once and we got talking to an assistant in a clothes shop. Gobby friend told assistant that she had instructed us all to dress up for the occasion. She then eyed us all, looked at me and said, "I'm a bit disappointed in her, though." I just stood there, smiling weakly. Fwiw, I was sort of in my work clothes, so smart but not massively trendy, but I was 14 weeks pregnant (she knew) and at that bloated stage where nothing really fitted, but I wasn't ready for mat wear.

That wasn't even funny, was it? Another time, in a changing room, she ripped my vest apart, literally, because she didn't like it.

Wow - writing it down I can only think "what a bitch!"

AbbeyBartlet Fri 13-Jun-14 14:23:05

Depends on what sort of relationship you have with her.

I would say that sort of thing to my friends, and so would they, just because we take the piss out of each other.

I probably wouldn't if it was likely to cause offence though.

BrianTheMole Fri 13-Jun-14 14:28:53


UnderEstherMate Fri 13-Jun-14 14:35:29

Hmm I'm not so sure, it all depends on what you're like as a group. I would say similar to some of my friends as they would with me. Others, who I know to be quite sensitive, I wouldn't.

partialderivative Fri 13-Jun-14 14:35:55

Wouldn't you expect a friend to tell you what she honestly thougt?

Or would you rather they lied?

(This sort of crap just doesn't seem to happen when you are a bloke)

Veins Fri 13-Jun-14 14:39:29

You're 20 and it was a headband unless it had ears on it I'm sure it looked fine. She was being her on it.

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