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To have bought a sofa before I bought a bed?

(31 Posts)
AwfulMaureen Wed 30-Apr-14 22:16:10

We've just moved. We left our old moth eaten sofa behind as it was disgusting and we both agreed that rather than bring it along, we'd get a new one once we'd moved in.

The bed we share is buggered...this has become more apparent as we moved...and it needs replacing too.

Today, I came across a bargain suite and bought it. Having spent the last week trying to engage DH in various sofas and finding him disinterested.

it now transpires that as I knew our bed was fucked, I should have got a new mattress and bed and not a new sofa...he's very annoyed that I didn't realise how uncomfortable he is in our current bed.

Our budget wont run to two large purchases so we have to wait a week for the new bed...he HAD complained a bit about the bed but feck me! If it was THAT bad then he should have acted imo.

He's all "You bought that sofa without asking me what I thought" and I DID ask him and he always went "Hmm....yes...interesting." and watched the footy!

WIBU to make the decision? The bed never occurred to me! We just have nothing to sit on!

AwfulMaureen Wed 30-Apr-14 22:29:06

What? Do NONE of you care? grin

RedPony Wed 30-Apr-14 22:29:34

Tell him to sleep on the new sofa if he doesn't like the bed wink

AwfulMaureen Wed 30-Apr-14 22:31:49

Well part of his complaint is that the sofa of it won't be comfortable to lie on. That's because our sitting room is tiny and anything larger would be silly.

MyPrettyToes Wed 30-Apr-14 22:49:26

Generally YABU in purchasing a sofa before a bed. We spend more time sleeping than we do sitting on a sofa and I am always astounded how low a priority we put bed purchasing. I suffer from insomnia so when I do sleep it has to be good quality. I would rather sit on the floor and have a decent bed/mattress.

Having said that I am not surprised you just went ahead with the purchase if he was not interested. He pretty much refused to be involved so he can't really complain, on that front YANBU.

AwfulMaureen Wed 30-Apr-14 22:51:39

toes see...there's the issue. I could sleep on a hairbrush and do in fact sometimes just lie on the floor and fall asleep. DH can't.

I suppose I should have thought about him's annoying though. I'd just buy a cheap mattress and a memory foam topper...he has to have an expensive I have to suck up spending hundreds on something I don't care about!

MyPrettyToes Wed 30-Apr-14 22:58:27

Had he been willing to discuss it you would have probably come to a compromise that pleased both of you, right? If he is aware that a bed is not all that important to you, refused to engage in conversation about the purchases then he is being unreasonable to complain when you made an executive decision. As much as I love a good mattress I see you point.

whois Wed 30-Apr-14 23:02:22

Well personally I'd have got for a new comfy bed over a new sofa, but only if I thought the bed was actually bad! Sounds like you have different views on how bad the bed is? Beds are such a personal thing. He should have piped up before if it was bothering him that much.

WhispersOfWickedness Wed 30-Apr-14 23:12:29

I would go for a sofa over a bed! I bet I spend far more time sat on my sofa than I do in my bed grin
I do need to be comfortable in bed (I find it hard to get comfy when it is hard, such as a roll mat on the floor or similar) but even I can cope with a mattress on the floor for a couple of weeks smile

AlpacaPicnic Wed 30-Apr-14 23:14:38

But you asked him? And he ignored you?
Humph.... He could have spoken up if it was that important. YANBU.

EverythingsDozy Wed 30-Apr-14 23:17:27

Sofa first. You said you left your old sofa behind and therefore didn't have a sofa. You had a bed. Sofa takes priority! Tell him to communicate better in future!

AwfulMaureen Wed 30-Apr-14 23:27:38

That's it....I had nothing to sit on! Terrible as I felt I couldn't ask people round for a coffee or anything!

maddy68 Thu 01-May-14 07:37:09

I would be livid if A large purchase was bought without my input. Nothing to do with the money as such but I would want input into something I am going to have to live with for years.

Chattymummyhere Thu 01-May-14 08:26:31

Sofa then bed... I've had three new sofas and two new beds guess I'm due a new bed but the sofa if per say used more and by more people so makes sence to get that first

Chattymummyhere Thu 01-May-14 08:29:14

That's just this house by the way which we have lived in just under 3 years before anyone thinks I'm a dirty one...

I also fine I spend much more on my sofa than I do my bed last example was

Sofa £1,200
Bed £230

EverythingsDozy Thu 01-May-14 09:55:30

Why would anyone think you were dirty for only having three new sofas and two new beds?! That seems excessive, to be honest, if you've only lived in your house three years!!!

Quinteszilla Thu 01-May-14 10:00:23


Thats men for you, it starts early. Take my 12 year old. He came home after running cross country yesterday, in his pe kit. He was mucky.

I told him repeatedly, you need to undress, shower, put the kit in the washing machine so I can wash it. Did he listen? Did he engage?

The kit ended up in the washing machine just before bedtime. Not dry this morning. He was like angry He said "you did not tell me to take it off!" followed by "It was not dirty, it did not need washing"

Eventually "muuuum, I will get detention" Then, a sulky "You need to ensure you manage to engage me"

You need to ensure you manage to engage me

NO! You, just need to make sure you always listen to me!!!!


Enjoy your sofa. Your dh needs to take responsibility for NOT engaging with you on the matter.

Artandco Thu 01-May-14 10:08:19

I wouldn't be happy. It's a joint thing imo. One might prefer certain style/ fabric and compromise made.

Although I can't remember when I actually last sat on sofa so slightly pointless purchase.

Bed much more important IMO and usually more expensive.

How have you gone through so many beds and sofas though? Do you not think those bargain bulk type places might be rubbish?

Our bed is about 7 years old. The bed about £1000, and mattress £2500! Wouldn't and couldn't replace that every year! It's made such a difference having a decent bed. It's super king size so that bumped up price a bit though

Sofa is about 4 years old and looks new ( despite being white fabric and having x2 children under 4)

AwfulMaureen Thu 01-May-14 10:14:51

Artandco but I repeatedly tried to show him sofa options...and to discuss the purchase and he never engaged. He also didn't say "But I want to buy the bed first."

So it's his own fault.

Chattymummyhere Thu 01-May-14 10:15:51

Everything's that was incase people thought I had bad them tens of years

AwfulMaureen Thu 01-May-14 10:17:07

We've been without any seat for ages now....and I said over and over "We need to choose a sofa....look at this one...what do you think of it? Shall I get this one?" on numerous occasions and he wouldn't. Why should I have no sofa because he won't engage?

EverythingsDozy Thu 01-May-14 10:19:26

Chatty - it didn't even occur to me you might've had them tens of years! grin

lessonsintightropes Thu 01-May-14 12:49:21

Wow Quint your DS sounds a trial.

Coumarin Thu 01-May-14 12:59:15

Chatty You've had a new bed for every year you've lived in your house? shock What are you doing to them?

If there's only a week gap between getting a new sofa and a new bed then the problem can't be the order which you bought them in. It must be because he wasn't involved in the choosing process. Did you only ask him what he thought once?

Coumarin Thu 01-May-14 13:01:29

I can't actually get over someone buying 3 sofas and 2 beds in 3 years...

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