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To be anoyed that my midwife likened giving up breastfeeding whilst pregnant to giving up smoking whilst pregnant?

(48 Posts)
ikeaismylocal Sat 05-Apr-14 21:28:32

I'm 10 weeks pregnant and ds is 15 months old. I have no issues with my pregnancy, iron levels fine, no history of early labour.

I went in for my first midwife appointment this week and all was going fine until I mentioned that I was still breastfeeding ds.

The midwife said I really must stop and he will be terribly jellous whilst the newborn feeds and he will steal all the newborn's milk.

She contradicted herself as she said the advice on breastfeeding was to exclusively bf until 6 months and then bf alongside other food up to 24 months, she said that advice didn't apply to me as I was pregnant.

She said that it was best if I stopped breastfeeding and I had to see it like giving up a bad habit for the best of the baby, she said it was just like giving up smoking (I have never smoked so I have no idea about giving up smoking)

I have looked into feeding whilst pregnant and I have mostly found positive stories. I know there is a chance ds will self wean and I know that if my pregnancy becomes high risk I might need to stop, but I can't see any reason to stop now.

AIBU that she likened breastfeeding to a bad habbit such as smoking? It made me feel like she thought that it was something I did to fufill a selfish need.

moondog Sat 05-Apr-14 21:30:45

Jesus Christ.
I am speechless at such appalling stupidity.
What an idiot.
I'd have it out with her next time.
You know don't you that you are absolutely fine to carry on as long as you and only you and your children want to carry on , don't you?

SantanaLopez Sat 05-Apr-14 21:31:18

A midwife? You didn't walk into, say, an office or the Daily Fail HQ??? God. You poor thing.

CaptChaos Sat 05-Apr-14 21:32:39

The midwife is a twat.


KatAndKit Sat 05-Apr-14 21:33:12

I would report that to the supervisor of midwives, it is shocking advice. Your toddler may well self wean as your milk changes back to colostrum later on but there is no need for you to hurry him to wean if you are happy to continue. Referring to feeding your child as a bad habit is appalling.

JacqueslePeacock Sat 05-Apr-14 21:34:00

WTF? I would report this idiocy.

KirstyJC Sat 05-Apr-14 21:35:06

She is talking complete and utter crap! I BF when pregnant and yes DS2 did self wean when I was about 4 months pregnant, but I know other women who continued and successfully tandem fed both a newborn and a toddler. No problems with jealousy at all!

I would complain to her manager tbh - she is giving incorrect advice. Thankfully it sounds like you know that and will do what you think is best anyway, but some people might believe her.

Giveme5minutes Sat 05-Apr-14 21:36:03

It scares the shit out of me that there appears to be so many ill informed midwives out there!

mumof5plusazoo Sat 05-Apr-14 21:38:47

That's awful. If you still want to feed then do I am pregnent with my 6th child and I have continued breast feeding all of my baby's whilst pregnent with our next addition to the family. All of mine have stopped when they wanted to at some point in the pregnency as the milk changes and they didn't like it anymore.
You do what works for you and your family.
Good luck with your pregnency and I suggest you request a different midwife.

Namelessonsie Sat 05-Apr-14 21:40:19

Crap. Join the tandem feeding Facebook group if you want to talk to other mothers.

Currently feeding dd1 31 months and dd2 5 months. No issues other than some nursing aversion while feeding the toddler. Which is totally normal as well while pregnant Incidently if you get that?

It is also very normal for the toddler to feed loads when the milk comes in, for a few weeks, then gradually drop down yo previous amounts.

Complain. I wAs lucky in that I had very supportive midwives and health visitors. Which is as it should be.

ikeaismylocal Sat 05-Apr-14 21:43:01

Glad I'm not bu!

I think I will just not mention it in future, it only came up in conversation because she asked me how ds slept and I said much better after we night weaned him.

She seemed otherwise nice and I only have to see her a few times.

My ds has just started nursery and I feel that at them moment breastfeeding is really important to him, I don't want to just stop. We havn't even had my 12 week scan yet, there is no saying there is actually a baby in there!

Unimaginativecow Sat 05-Apr-14 21:44:06

You can request to change midwife. I did in my last pregnancy because I lost faith in what my midwife was telling me. Congratulations on your pregnancy smile

SuiGeneris Sat 05-Apr-14 21:44:08

What an idiot. Do report her to the supervisor of midwives as it shows she needs to improve her understanding of infant feeding.

I had the "you must give up now you are pregnant" thing from a gynaecologist I was seeing for something unrelated but the other three consultant obgyns I saw during my second pregnancy were all very supportive of breastfeeding while pregnant- one even shared that his wife has tandem fed all three of their children (only 2 at a time).
I was aiming for tandem feeding but had to wean at 23 weeks' pregnant as once the milk had turned to colostrum the vigorous sucking and fussing were too painful...

thebody Sat 05-Apr-14 21:46:36

So you are 10 weeks pregnant but then there is no saying if there is a baby in there

Not really understanding you or your midwife both sound confused. grin

RufusTheReindeer Sat 05-Apr-14 21:48:10

Agree midwife does not know what she is talking about

Having said that I was told by a "friend" that the reason I miscarried my second was because I was still breast feeding my first..made me feel it was my fault and that I'd killed my baby

Perfectly fine to breastfeed while pregnant, masses of people tandem feed

ikeaismylocal Sat 05-Apr-14 21:52:19

the body I ment that there is no saying there is a healthy baby in there, my sister experienced a missed miscarriage recently so I'm trying to think realistically that there is a chance that there won't be a wiggling fetus to look at when we go for our scan, although hopefully all will be well.

Sleepgrumpydopey Sat 05-Apr-14 21:55:11

silly question but doesn't breast feeding cause the uterus to contract? Could this be harmful when pregnant?

KateSpade Sat 05-Apr-14 22:04:39

Did she realise you have two breasts? Coincidence?

I don't know a lot about breast feeding but, so excuse me if this is stupid, but could you not sort of 'allocate' a breast to your eldest and explain to him that is his food, to prevent jealousy if it happens?

Also, i saw a doctor when i was a few weeks pregnant who said he didn't mind if i carried on smoking, if i stopped drinking. He said, if you were to give up on, it'd be the alcohol, I'm not to bothered about the smoking! hmm

Purplehonesty Sat 05-Apr-14 22:07:48

Oh my giddy Aunt. Your baby is only 15mo!!!
What a fool.

OxfordBags Sat 05-Apr-14 22:10:58

Women have breastfed their existing child/ren whilst pregant and tandem-fed since the dawn of time. What a load of bollocks, it doesn't make any sense whatsoever, ffs.

LongPieceofString Sat 05-Apr-14 22:16:28

FWIW I bf DC1 while pg with DC2 until approx 7 months pregnant.

Children are now 9 and 7 years old and do not appear to be massively damaged by this terrible start to their lives ;)

PomBearWithAnOFRS Sat 05-Apr-14 22:53:20

And people with twins never breastfeed hmm /end sarcasm
I would just "smile and nod and nod and smile" and feed DS for as long as you want.

thebody Sat 05-Apr-14 23:38:19

Gotcha op ok hope the scan is ok and all fine.

Your midwife sounds crazy! Report her and changebt

thebody Sat 05-Apr-14 23:38:58

Bugger iPhone!! Report her and can you change.

Her advice is daft.

bobot Sat 05-Apr-14 23:44:56

sleepdopeygrumpy - breastfeeding in pregnancy here, and have looked into that one! Towards the end of the third trimester, nipple stimulation can cause the uterus to contract. Highly unlikely to induce labour in a body not ripe for labour. Biut earlier in pregnancy the uterus has fewer oxytocin receptors, so this is even less likely to be a problem - so I read!!

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