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To formally complain about this woman's flagrant disregard for the well being of my anus?

(90 Posts)
HoneyDragonling Fri 03-Jan-14 12:37:48

I have recently had a poo. It was quite pleasant, chatting to my brother through the wall. Then I shouted for my bum to be wiped. No answer! The feckless baggage was downstairs ironing my penguin trousers. This is being done because it's very important I wear my penguin trousers today.

I shouted louder. Then, then

She told me to WIPE MY OWN BUM!

Now I am perfectly capable of this task, but today I decided I was not and I know my own mind, right?

I shout repeatedly, and nothing. She just kept refusing.

So I had to do it myself sad. Then, to add further insult to injury, SHE came upstairs and said "Thankyou" (well I should think so!) and "well done, Honeydragonling". The patronising cow baggage hmm

I'm still sulking.

AIBU to be absolutely sick of this constant disregard for my NEEDS?

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho Fri 03-Jan-14 12:39:12


Seriously. She'll be expecting you to wash your own hair in the bath soon shock

This is where it starts you know.

MrsSteptoe Fri 03-Jan-14 12:39:38


Take it from me, HoneyDragonling. You just can't get the staff.

Honeydragonling Fri 03-Jan-14 12:43:28

Don't get me started on the bath! I demanded she switch the taps off. So she did. But then I had to have a really small bath, not a deep one. She suggested putting the taps back on.

She never listens!

Edendance Fri 03-Jan-14 12:43:42

YANBU. I suggest next time she asks you to do something for her, you stamp your foot and shout NO in an outside voice!

DoYouNeedAWahhmbulance Fri 03-Jan-14 12:43:45

How awful sad

You should LTB

ghostinthecanvas Fri 03-Jan-14 12:45:07

It's downhill from here I'm afraid. Childhood over. Toughen up, Dragonling. Take my advice - practice saying no while shaking your head and crossing your arms. This can be very effective at wearing down dragons. Careful though that your dragon doesn't realise what you are doing and simply copy you. HTH

DameDeepRedBetty Fri 03-Jan-14 12:45:37

HoneyDragonling, ask her if it's okay to wipe your bottom with a spider. <whistles innocently>

ghostinthecanvas Fri 03-Jan-14 12:47:00

Can you tell us more about the penguin trousers? On a dragon. Interesting combo.

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho Fri 03-Jan-14 12:47:20

You could try wiping it on the towels or something so she's forced to do it for you for a while?

LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA Fri 03-Jan-14 12:48:14

It is possible to divorce one's parents

BTW i read that as fragrant disregard........

RedorBlack Fri 03-Jan-14 12:49:20

Oh HDling, I'm so sorry,what a shocking experience for you to have to endure.

I suggest if she dares try it again that you wipe on your brothers t-shirt. That'll show her who's boss grin

Honeydragonling Fri 03-Jan-14 12:50:03

Thank you for the advice on how to communicate with her, I think that will help.

Yes, she does have some interesting spider killing methods.

ViviPru Fri 03-Jan-14 12:55:10

Tread carefully, Dragonling. Before you know it, the utter arse of a woman will be refusing to cut up your fruit. Then before you know it she'll be cutting up your fruit then expecting you to eat the stuff.

ItsTrueLefou Fri 03-Jan-14 12:56:53

Honeydragonling - are you me? I had a very similar situation (with, it would seem, my very similarly unreasonable mother) very recently.

However my mother is worse. Due to her obvious reluctance to perform such a simple task, the next time I needed a poo I reasoned that since I was in the bath, if I just let it out then my backside - due to its immediate environment - would need no wiping.

The phrase "Can't do right for doing wrong" springs to mind hmm

TwatWeevil Fri 03-Jan-14 12:57:13

Or don't wipe at all. That'll learn her!


MrsSteptoe Fri 03-Jan-14 13:01:40

We need more threads like this on MN...

Honeydragonling Fri 03-Jan-14 13:03:28

The fruit cutting incident is what brought me here. I need support in my parent management skills.

I have decided I need to approach this in a calmer more rational way. So I have taken off all my clothes and am sat on the green tea tray.

Dollslikeyouandme Fri 03-Jan-14 13:04:05

I had the cheek to give ds cheese and crackers today, he loves cheese and crackers but today decided he didn't want them.

I said 'ok well you don't have to eat it', he growled at me and said 'FINE, but I'm only eating the cheese, and the crackers that I like.

They're all gone.

Misspixietrix Fri 03-Jan-14 13:07:36

It weren't just you HoneyDragonling I was expected to do the same this morning. Blatantly disregard of my rights to have my own arse wiped. Master Pixie. grin.

ItsTrueLefou Fri 03-Jan-14 13:16:01

Honey - good move!

Sometimes you just have to be cruel to be kind.

TallGiraffe Fri 03-Jan-14 13:19:35

Do you have a pet dog Dragonling? One of the mini giraffes in our house has employed the dog to lick their bottom before!

WireCatGlitteryBaubles Fri 03-Jan-14 13:21:02

Just be glad you are not dyed blue or have been immacced.

CrohnicallySick Fri 03-Jan-14 13:21:40

Oh dear, I must be on my guard against this. Today mummy has given me my toothbrush and expected me to clean my own teeth. Just because I won't let her get near with the brush. I'm only 1, I had better nip this in the bud by brushing the bathroom floor with my toothbrush instead, right?


InkleWinkle Fri 03-Jan-14 13:24:15

Next time, put the whole toilet roll down the toilet.

Little Inkle

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