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To ask for seats on public transport at 26 weeks pregnantt

(111 Posts)
Babysealion Thu 24-Oct-13 08:24:11

Or am I not far enough along yet? confused
I commute to and from work on the train everyday. Fair enough it's only a 25 minute journey but the majority of the time the train is packed and there's hardly any seats. Last week I asked one guy to move his bag so I could sit down and said I'm pregnant and he said 'where am I supposed to put it?' And I didn't want to make a scene so I just left it but no one else offered me their seat either despite the entire carriage over hearing our exchange.
So this week I've been too worried to ask for seats but this morning a very nice man offered me his. I have a fairly big bump so it's obvious I am pregnant and have been referred to physio as I have quite a bit of pelvic and hip pain and discomfort going on.
My question is AIBU to ask/want a seat on public transport or is this only for heavily pregnant ladies?

ZillionChocolate Thu 24-Oct-13 08:28:00

If you feel you need it, I think you should ask for it. It's a shame you didn't have more confidence to stand up to bag man, what an arse!

KirjavaTheCorpse Thu 24-Oct-13 08:29:26

"On your fucking lap, perhaps?" What an arsehole. Unless his bag was made out of rice paper I'm sure it would have survived twenty minutes on his lap, or the floor.

Yanbu. There isn't a special time in pregnancy where it's all of a sudden reasonable to ask to be treated with some consideration. With SPD, 25 minutes can be agony.

Depending where you're commuting, some people would rather impale themselves onto their seats than give them up for someone elderly or disabled, or pregnant.

BadgerB Thu 24-Oct-13 08:31:33

I'm amazed that no one offered you a seat! Must be London. And as for people who take a seat for their bag - no excuse. Where he's supposed to put could give rise to a few uncouth suggestions, BUT it's not your problem. Has he paid for a seat for his bag??

CoffeeTea103 Thu 24-Oct-13 08:31:47

Yanbu, some people have no manners these days.

Jolleigh Thu 24-Oct-13 08:33:05

Can I ask where you live?? I'm in Manchester and have honestly only ever seen this problem in the south, though I'm assured it does happen elsewhere!

Back to the point though-

I'd give you the seat. And I think it's a matter of common decency that others should too.

As to what your response to the bag bloke should have been...

'Does you bag have an arse? No? Then I can assure you that it goes UNDER the seat rather than ON it.'

flowerpotgirl12 Thu 24-Oct-13 08:33:28

UANBU, However people just don't generally care about others in commute time, I was on a packed train for over an hour yesterday and am quite clearly heavily pregnant and not one person offered a seat which didn't really annoy me until people were leaving and seats were becoming free, people were actually pushing me out the way to get to them, that's what pissed me off, one woman who must have been about 50 pushed quite hard and I said to her excuse me but you just shoved me and taken the seat and you can see I'm pregnant, her response was well I'm older than you, so why should I stand.

Kemmo Thu 24-Oct-13 08:34:07

Some train companies allow pregnant women to sit in first class shen the train is full.

Babysealion Thu 24-Oct-13 08:39:00

I live in rural Yorkshire and commute to York everyday <outs self>

It's northern rail (unfortunately) so no first class carriage Kemmo.

I wish I'd have stood up to bag man but I was just a bit taken aback really!

GillyBillyWilly Thu 24-Oct-13 08:39:24

I had to ask someone for a seat the other day and I'm only 8 weeks!!! grin
However I've had the most horrendous morning sickness and I was feeling really dizzy and thought I was going to either pass out/be sick everywhere unless I sat down.

I don't think I would ever ask for a seat unless I really felt like I had to sit down. And I'm the kind of person who would probably say no if someone offered me a seat... Unless I really felt I needed it!

So no... YANBU. If you feel you need to sit down, ask for a seat smile

Xmasbaby11 Thu 24-Oct-13 08:39:38

YANBU. That's so rude of that man. It's an absolute disgrace that he thinks his bag deserves a seat while you stand up. I have not seen this here (North) but it doesn't surprise me in London.

There is no magic time when you are 'pregnant enough' to demand a seat. IMO once you are visibly pregnant, you should be offered a seat. I really feel for you because I wouldn't want the confrontation of asking and never had to do so myself - normally just stroking the bump and looking a bit pained is enough of a hint.

I really hope you are treated with more consideration soon. xxx

TinyTear Thu 24-Oct-13 08:40:09

A bag??? a Bag??? did the bag buy a ticket??

I would have said tough, put it on your lap!

no you are not unreasonable!

Babysealion Thu 24-Oct-13 08:42:48

Gilly oh god I really feel for you, I know exactly how you feel sad I had horrendous sickness and dizziness up until 16 weeks and can very clearly remember that awful feeling of standing and knowing unless you sit down you're going to vomit everywhere. Luckily I lived on a different train route then and so could always sit down on the way to work.

Inertia Thu 24-Oct-13 08:42:57


I would have moved the bag myself.

SatinSandals Thu 24-Oct-13 08:44:06

I would have made him move the bag even though I am not pregnant and would have said 'That is your problem to work out'.

nicelyneurotic Thu 24-Oct-13 08:44:15

Yanbu, not once during my whole pregnancy did I get offered a seat on London transport. I didn't really expect to though as I knew it was like that. You also don't know who on the train has a back or foot problem, is feeling ill, etc. so I didn't like to ask.

Instead I changed my work hours so I could come in later when public transport was less busy. I also worked from home one day a week.

Trapper Thu 24-Oct-13 08:44:49

You should LTB.

AuntyEntropy Thu 24-Oct-13 08:50:11

YANBU to ask. You've come across one complete tosser, but unless the people of Yorkshire are significantly more selfish than Londoners, most people are fine about giving a seat when asked. However many people never will take a risk of assuming you're pregnant, and others are simply looking straight through you while they plan their shopping list.

Be a teeny bit more assertive, and ask a Londoner to post you a TfL Baby on Board badge.

NotYoMomma Thu 24-Oct-13 08:54:53

we get special consideration parking spaces at my office once you hit 26 weeks.

I got it earlier in my first pregnancy due to issoos.

I would. im 40 weeks this week and have given up trying to go anywhere lol

VerySmallSqueak Thu 24-Oct-13 08:58:42

I would have farted while standing right next to the bag man.
He'd soon move wink

Or start heaving in his direction like you're going to puke.

There's more than one way to skin a bunny.....

Echocave Thu 24-Oct-13 09:01:02

Don't feel bad for asking, just go ahead. I'm in the South and can honestly say that people have been offering me a seat every time I get on the packed train. I have been pleasantly surprised I must say.

But if nobody offered, I'd definitely ask, especially with the level of discomfort you must be feeling.
Hope your physio starts to help soon.

eurochick Thu 24-Oct-13 09:02:10

Typical anti London sentiment on here even when told this happened in the north! I've seen plenty of pregnant women offered seats on London transport.

BurberryFucker Thu 24-Oct-13 09:04:52

you have to ask IME.....people are miles away usually, (whether northerners or Londoners or whatever).
as for the man with the bag you should have told him to stick it where the sun don't shine.
Dont wait to be offered, and be a martyr, just tell people you need to sit down.

BurberryFucker Thu 24-Oct-13 09:06:20

I know the automatic London bashing was amazing!
even after OP said she was in Yorkshire.
I am from London and had no problem at all getting a seat on the tube when pregnant!

Hattie23 Thu 24-Oct-13 09:07:44

When i came across an idiot who thought his bag needed a seat i commented that it looked quite squishy and went to sit on it. He moved it pretty quickly. Try that if it happens again.

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