DS the 5yr old teen....(31 Posts)
Picked up DS from school. I note that he now tends to socialise with the older children, maybe 9-10yr olds. He's normally got a great sense of humour, very dry, and I think he finds their
sarcastic conversation a little more on his wavelength.
So, he's becoming a little more bolshie and outspoken (picture Clarkson in pint size) with his older peer group, and I've not really corrected him too much along the way, not wanting to stop his natural character coming out, but reprimanding for any bad behaviour or rudeness.
I'll get to the point: Today he comes home, in particularly "good form" leaves his clothes strewn across the landing en route to the bath. "DS, pick up your things and put them with the laundry please." Leaves a torrent of water all over the floor in his bathroom "DS, what have you been doing in here??" Has his milk and cookies at the table, I wander off to answer the phone, return and he's gone, spilt milk everywhere, and there are a trail of broken cookies and crumbs (being rapidly snaffled by the dog) to the sofa where he is lounging, surrounded by crumbs having flicked the tv on. "DS!!! What the?!!....." He interjects, puts his hand up casually in a "stop" motion: "Mummy. Must you always twist my melons??" Oh fucking really.
Have hauled his smart ass to his room and he's gone to bed half an hour early. That was the right thing to do, yes? And what do I do about nipping this "teen" behaviour coming from a 5.3yr old boy in the bud??!
er,well I have 3 teens and they don't behave at all like that....
Sorry no helpful advice but his comment did make me laugh!
Oh you did better than I would have done, the melons would have been my undoing and I'd have failed miserably at any attempt at responsible parenting and just laughed inappropriately... If it's any help my nearly 14 yr old has been a teen for the best part of ten years now and each year it gets easier and he gets nicer.
I have absolutely no advice, but the thought of a 5yo saying that has made me laugh.
Tbh I wouldn't put up with that from anyone and certainly not a child.
Can you imagine if he spoke to another adult like that? I'd be mortified. Best start reining him in.
Hmmm, before I get a tonne of "my teens don't do that " I think I should explain, it's the general "too cool for school attitude" that tends to happen in older children. He's gone from being 5 to 15 overnight. He'll still have his little friends round, but I've noticed he gets bored with them very easily, and longs for the company of older children, who seem to quite like him too. But I'm buggered if I'm going to have Kevin and Perry style behaviour from a 5yr old. At a bit of a loss.
maybe start supervising him more? who are these older children?
Maybe find a group of better behaved older children for him to hang around with? Honestly that's not 'older' behaviour it's just 'bad' behaviour.
School children, all very naice, but around 9/10yrs old. It's not under my supervision that he plays with them, it's a school time thing. do I tell the teachers to stop him socialising with them? As it's notably since he became friends with this group. Or is that just really mean as he's found a group he really seems to get on with. No idea how to go about this.
Seems he developed quite an attitude there. Is this group his regular group of friends. I think you should encourage him to join kids his age. It's ok if he joins these kids here and there, but they are into other things which your 5 year old isn't ready for.
Well I wouldn't fall out with him over it for a start. Explain why what he did was a problem and that he needs to try to clean up after himself a bit more. If he's trying to act like a grown up and you're squashing him he'll just try harder to 'rebel'. I have told my 8 yr old DS that being cocky and sneezy doesn't make people think you are grown up and in fact makes you look like a silly child. He actually listened (the 20th time)
My ds 8 was encouraged to say fuck by the older kids on the bus. They love him coz he looks blond and cherub like so think its fun to make him do crazy things. I had to get the d Head in to sort it out. My ds was just lapping up all the attention with humour. I'd like teachers to observe the play of this group and check out how appropriate it is. But then it is play time. I've been know to park in my car near school at play time and covertly spy at play time to observe things that I needed clarification on. The mess sounds just like my ds. Hopefully you and your cherub will laugh your melons off about this when he's older.
He does still have his little friends over, but increasingly he complains once they've gone that he's found them boring, they don't have good ideas, they are not funny. In a very black and white way, he seems to have decided that 5yr olds are babies, despite being one, and older boys are cool.
Should I speak to the school and ask for a little diplomatic separation? I'm wondering if it's a phase that will die out as quickly as it has started and I should just bite my tongue and ride it out. I thought the older boys would have been bored with a 5yr old cramping their style by now, but he's even been invited to a birthday party by one of them.
If be horrified if a child of mine behaved like that! I'd be encouraging him to play with mates his own age tbh.
He might just be repeating things that the older boys have said about his peer group. They have adopted him to their group and are probably looking to distinguish themselves to him. Thisd is however the peer group which your ds will have to spend most time with so it is vital he finds friendly bonds again with them I would go to the party and observe goings on very carefully. If your still not sure invite a small group back to yours and observe there from the comfort of your own pad. You need to check out that he is able to hold his own and it is appropriate. I would definitely talk to the teacher as she/he may well have taught this group and would have a good idea if they are suitable play mates.
The older boys probably enjoy having a little "mascot" who hero-worships them. Ordinarily, I wouldn't see anything wrong with a 5-year-old playing with older children. But it sounds as though he is copying their language without having the maturity to judge when (or to whom) it is appropriate to say certain things.
In this situation, I would certainly explain very clearly to the child that speaking that way is rude and unacceptable (which it sounds as though the OP did). I might also have a quiet word with the teacher about perhaps encouraging friendships within the class, though that sort of thing doesn't always work.
I presumed he was a novel tag along to them, who it was amusing to have as the group side kick, but it appears not, he seems to have genuinely integrated into this group. He took his transformers in last week, and they all sat at lunch working out a particularly tricky model as a group. Which was lovely to hear as feedback from the teacher at the end of the day. If he's more suited to these boys and they are really becoming his friends, I don't want to trample the friendships. But, I can't have him strolling around the house like The Fonz, and he's certainly picking up these mannerisms from them. I think inviting them over might a fab idea.
Ahem.. <<adopts Attenborough tone>>
"And hear we see the juveniles in their natural habitat, observe how DC1 arranges the Lego people into compromising positions. The other DC in the pack laugh in confirmation of their leader's behaviour"
might have something to do with my name but I have maximum respect for your amazing ds.
and for the record we have been calling our nine year old son kevin the teenager for years.
also the phrase 'your twisting my melon man'comes from an old happy Mondays song and melon refers to the head.
"And here we see..." that's hilarious!
There is no reason he should be limited to socialising within his own age group and it'll probably be good for him in some ways to be among older children. I would maybe go in and speak to the head about how DS is probably learning a lot of good things from these children but that it might be a good idea to speak to them about responsible attitudes towards younger children. Great idea to have them over. You might find DS is putting on a 'grown up' attitude with no help from these others; mine regularly go through phases of 'trying it on' in this way. DD tells me sometimes she's going to go and lie on her bed writing in her secret diary "because that's what teenagers do". Then she does a little arrogant-looking pose for me. She's six!!
I know hundreds of teenagers (I teach them) and now and again I come across the annoying 'too cool, yeh, yeh, yeh, stop nagging me' type. Thankfully they are rare.
They tend to be precocious little s**ts who swagger around thinking that they can do what the hell they like dismissing anything they don't like as 'rubbish'.
You need to teach your little boy some manners and to lose the attitude. Sounds like he's playing to his audience. His 'friends' may be older but that doesn't mean to say that they are well mannered, funny or mature.
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