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WIBU? Asking school to not use Mr and Mrs. R Bonkers

(294 Posts)
bonkersLFDT20 Wed 09-Oct-13 11:10:53

Got a letter from DS1's secondary school.
It was addressed to Mr and Mrs R Bonkers
R is my husband's initial.

I've just written to them suggesting they use more a more modern way to address parents e.g Mr and Mrs Bonkers or Mr R. Bonkers & Mrs M Bonkers.


DidoTheDodo Wed 09-Oct-13 11:12:00

YABU to have changed your name in the first place ;)

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 09-Oct-13 11:12:10

YANBU. I thought the 'husband's initial' way of addressing couples had been pretty much abandoned.

shewhowines Wed 09-Oct-13 11:13:47

They need to move with the times. It doesn't sound like a very enlightened schools. What else are they doing that is archaic?

Feminine Wed 09-Oct-13 11:14:18

I wouldn't mind. That is not to say you shouldn't, just that I don't think its worth thinking about! smile

MellowandFruitfulSnazzy Wed 09-Oct-13 11:14:24

YANBU, it's not the 1950s. Plus I bet statistically more mothers than fathers will be opening and reading these letters, so doesn't look great to treat them as the adjunct part of the couple. In fact, wouldn't it be easier just to address everything to 'Parent/s' of <child's name>'?

LunaticFringe Wed 09-Oct-13 11:15:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

livinginwonderland Wed 09-Oct-13 11:18:15

I find it weird that people care about these things blush

WorraLiberty Wed 09-Oct-13 11:18:48

Ours are always addressed "To the parents/carers of (insert child's name)"

Who could really care....really?? Does it matter in the grand scheme of things? God, I really wish I had nothing else to worry about!

cingolimama Wed 09-Oct-13 11:25:14

Well clearly the OP cares! Frankly I think it's wildly outdated and borderline rude. Yes, I would definitely mention it to the school.

frostyfingers Wed 09-Oct-13 11:25:25

Is it really that important? Our letters come addressed in a variety of ways, I really don't care and even if I did I don't think I'd do anything about it - maybe hurrumph quietly to myself, but quite honestly there are so many other pressing things on that contacting school to correct it wouldn't even occur to me.

SpecialJK Wed 09-Oct-13 11:25:43

Wouldn't bother me at all

HopeClearwater Wed 09-Oct-13 11:27:50

YANBU it's ancient and needs to stop!

Bowlersarm Wed 09-Oct-13 11:28:49

Wouldn't bother me.

However if I had married a Mr Bonkers, I am fairly certain I wouldn't have changed my name in the first place.

TheInquisitor Wed 09-Oct-13 11:29:05

I seriously wouldn't care if school addressed letters to me as Mr and Mrs (DH's initial) Inquisitor.
I'd save my energy for getting worked up about things that really matter.

sonlypuppyfat Wed 09-Oct-13 11:29:25

Wouldn't bother me we've all got the same name in this house anyway what does it matter.

SoupDragon Wed 09-Oct-13 11:30:54

I have no problems whatsoever with Mr & Mrs (his initial) Surname. I hate Mrs (his initial) Dragon though.

I'm also surprised you changed your surname if you get annoyed by this sort of thing. Mr & Mrs R Bonkers is no more old fashioned than you being Mrs Bonkers in the first place

HangingGardenofBabbysBum Wed 09-Oct-13 11:32:51

I still haven't changed my name, but school send us letters addressed to Me and Mrs H Hanging.

Couldn't care less, I am glad they write and I think the administrative staff have a tough enough job without pandering to my feminist whims or imagined slights.

Are your kids doing ok there? That's the important issue.

QueenofKelsingra Wed 09-Oct-13 11:33:14

YABU to suggest the school should adopt 'a more modern' approach for everyone. I am very happy to be addressed as Mr & Mrs <H's initial> <Surname> thank you and I don't want that to change because you have got your knickers in a twist over something so small.

I prefer joint things to addressed correctly and traditionally, however I certainly wouldn't bother to get worked up if mail came to Mr <his initial> and Mrs <my initial?> <Surname>.

HowlerMonkey Wed 09-Oct-13 11:34:14

If it's that small a problem then it will take 3 seconds to rectify and the school won't mind doing it, seeing as it's such a small problem and all.

<smiles sweetly>

This would bother me too op!

QueenofKelsingra Wed 09-Oct-13 11:35:12

I'm also surprised you changed your surname if you get annoyed by this sort of thing. Mr & Mrs R Bonkers is no more old fashioned than you being Mrs Bonkers in the first place

exactly!! well said! you either embrace the idea of being a traditional family unit and accept all that goes with it or be 'modern' and keep your own name completely.

Pendeen Wed 09-Oct-13 11:35:24

Yes, YABU.

I would imagine some amusement in the school office when they open your letter.

HowlerMonkey Wed 09-Oct-13 11:35:41

Feminist WHIMS HangingGarden?!?

Silly me, thinking I have a right to be acknowledged by my own name and not my husband's. Silly, whimsical me.

sonlypuppyfat Wed 09-Oct-13 11:36:28

Well said Queen.

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