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To think double barrelling DC's names is a bit selfish and is storing up trouble?

(81 Posts)
grobagsforever Wed 02-Oct-13 20:28:17

So couple has child. Couple not married. DC gets double barrelled name. Or couple marry, couple double barrel their name (or just woman does) and DC get that name. What are DC supposed to do when they have DC? Quadruple barrel perhaps? It's madness. Personally I am also aginist the father's name being taken as the default, very sexist and patriarchal. IMHO girls should get the mother's name and boys the father's. That way no names die out.

slightlysoupstained Wed 02-Oct-13 20:31:11

moustachio Wed 02-Oct-13 20:32:02

I think in lots of European countries (Italy for sure) the kids take the fathers name but the mother keeps hers. So she'd be Miss Smith and then Mrs Smith. That's what I'm planning on doing, although I'm a bit sad I won't have the same surname as DS, my name is important to me.

Osmiornica Wed 02-Oct-13 20:33:40

Erm, perhaps they could simply choose whichever surname or combination of surnames they'd like themselves. I don't see the issue.

grobagsforever Wed 02-Oct-13 20:34:50

Well yes, but how? They'd have to chop off part of their own surnames and 'favour' the GM or GF's name.

Rollermum Wed 02-Oct-13 20:35:39

I can see what you mean about the child needing to possibly address changing their name in future - though not all will need or want to.

But for me it was a way of giving DC both our names, which was important to me at this stage. We are married, have kept own names and DD has double barrel surname. If she were to marry it would be up to her to do what she likes.

SpiritOfTheBuskersCat Wed 02-Oct-13 20:35:45

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

CaterpillarCara Wed 02-Oct-13 20:35:47

Yawn. Honestly, this comes up so often. Name your children as you wish. They will name theirs as they wish. Leave everyone else to themselves - they will probably have good family / political / personal / cultural reasons for making the choices they do.

If you want to learn about those reasons, rather than just call them mad, then there is a Baby Naming section on here.

HangingGardenofBabbysBum Wed 02-Oct-13 20:39:16

It used to be a sign of illegitimacy, then as a sign of two 'important' families merging, thus a vaguely upper class thing.

Now you can't move for double barrels and it strikes me as silly and try-hard. Especially as many are coupled with double barrelled first names.

Those poor mums sewing in the names...

RoadToTuapeka Wed 02-Oct-13 20:39:26

OP I have wondered that myself! I have a double barrelled surname myself but it goes back a way (ie not my parents joining their names), and it's a pain! I usually use half of it but on 'official' stuff I use the full name. Half the time I turn up to appointments and have forgotten which name I registered as.

My children have my DH's surname but each has a part of my surname as a middle name.

Maybe if two double barrelled people got together they could combine in any form with the 4 names? Could be endless permutations!

NiceTabard Wed 02-Oct-13 20:39:44

I married someone with a double-barrelled name. It is a PITA to write the whole bloody thing out but other than that, what's the problem? I could have kept my surname, I chose to have his (which was a surprise to lots of people, especially me!).

I think you have to be a bit unimaginative to see the existence of double-barrelled names as a terrible burden on the young people of today grin

(And anyway people have had double-barrelled names for yonks. Read any PG Wodehouse?)

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Wed 02-Oct-13 20:41:23

YABU what an odd thing to care about hmm

DD has her dad's surname, as does DS. It goes better with the first and middle names we picked and I hate my surname anyway. That said, I bagsyed choosing the middle names for both (they're family names from my side) and I think that's fair smile not that I really cared about them having their dad's surname.

NiceTabard Wed 02-Oct-13 20:42:25

Ooh I like this

"IMHO girls should get the mother's name and boys the father's. That way no names die out."

Assuming that everyone who has children has a nice selection of sexes. It's as bad as medieval times. You have to KEEP having babies until you have at least one of each otherwise the name will DIE <snort>

grobagsforever Wed 02-Oct-13 20:43:32

But what do you expect your DD to do rollermum? To retain her name and merge it with her DH's, which is what you had the luxury of doing, she'd have to triple barrel. So she won't get the same choice. It's just seems very short termist to me.

To others, I am minding my own business by posting about it on anonymous forum rather than asking my friends why they have done this. If my topics bores or irritates you the don't read it.

CaterpillarCara Wed 02-Oct-13 20:43:54

I don't have the same surname as my kids. I quite like that they have the same surname as each other though.

CaterpillarCara Wed 02-Oct-13 20:45:13

I think the topic is very interesting. I don't like the "it's madness", "its selfish and is storing up trouble" tone - that is hardly the tone you take when you are open to new ideas!

BrianTheMole Wed 02-Oct-13 20:45:33

Oh dear. I must be a bit selfish and storing up trouble for my dc then. Never mind, I'm sure they'll get over it.

grobagsforever Wed 02-Oct-13 20:47:12

Ok caterpillar you got me there, I was being a bit inflammatory to attract the AIBU hoards. Selfish no, short termist, yes.

JerseySpud Wed 02-Oct-13 20:48:03

I married a man with a triple barrel surname

Funnily enough i didn't add my name to it.

And our DD's have a double barrel surname. I thought it was cruel to give them triple.

NiceTabard Wed 02-Oct-13 20:49:00

I don't think my in-laws were being selfish and storing up trouble confused

There has been the sum total of zero trouble amongst his brothers and sisters when they got married.

They had an excellent reason for double-barrelling as well smile

grobagsforever Wed 02-Oct-13 20:49:21

Jersey, very pragmatic. Trim one name a generation! Maybe we should do away with surnames entirely....

grobagsforever Wed 02-Oct-13 20:50:18

So what did they do nicetabbard?

littlemissnormal Wed 02-Oct-13 20:51:05

I have a double-barrelled surname which is inherited from way down my paternal line.

When I was growing up it absolutely did my head in. All I've ever done is explain it to people in the past.

Now though I love it, but all 3 DCs have their dad's name and I am reluctant to let mine go as I am the end of our line now!

thistlelicker Wed 02-Oct-13 20:51:08

My friend double barrelled her dd name, she is an only child and female, so her family name dies when she gets married, she gave her dd the double barrel so she has then the option to carry on that name if she chooses, provided she doesn't have a son ! And she isn't married either if that makes a difference

PeppiNephrine Wed 02-Oct-13 20:51:25

Talk about finding things to get worked up about. Very few people double barrel. But they have been doing it for a long time and have you ever met anyone with 4 or 6 surnames? And if you did, what the hell difference would it make to you anyway?
I'm really struggling to see how anyone could possibly care about this.

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