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if I report my neighbour to the police for harassment

(37 Posts)
AbiJen Fri 20-Sep-13 22:00:07

I have an awkward situation whereby for the past 30 years access to mine and the neighbours back doors is via a shared path, due to both houses having had side extensions, there is literally 4 feet distance between both party walls. The area outside my gate and the neighbours has always stored our bins.

She wants a gate between the two houses along this path, I don't. the last tenants made life difficult, they became territorial over this shared space. I couldn't even walk out my gate without their dog barking at me and the kids. (huge rottweiler, bigger than my 2 little ones).

I could build a fence but it means that the one building the fence will only have 18 inches walk way because you cannot construct a fence in someone else's foundation, it has to be built 6 inches from the centre. So no one has ever built a fence.

One day, I came home and she's moved all 4 of the bins out of their usual place, and stored her bins there. I've had my bins there for 8 years and the tenants have kept theirs against their wall. It's never ever been an issue. I didnt do or say anything, but I have decided not to put my bins against their wall, I have put them, instead along the shared path and that's meant there's about 18 inches of space for any of us to use.

Anyway, I cut some of their overgrown holly in the front - my kids like to climb the tree in the front and it's got their holly growing on it. I always clear out the overgrowth around the 2 oak trees outside my house and binned this into the green bin, apart from what couldn't fit in. SK solutions picked up the oak tree overgrowth that I had left neatly in a pile by the tree, as they usually and very kindly do, but left their holly.

When I was out, Emma came round and told my son, a young lad, that I was making it difficult for her to buy the house because of the holly. At that point I didn't think we had a relationship problem nor that they were investigating buying the house.

So at the weekend she got her fella to have a go at my husband, who without batting his eye, was more than happy to clear the holly.

Now, the house opposite to us is having work done. We have trucks, skips and mini vans parked there all day long. Some days I cant get onto the drive, so today I parked outside her house. This evening, she came round and told me to move the car. "sorry to be a pain, but I have a guest coming and my husband will be home soon so you need to move it sooner rather than later" and gave me that stern look mothers give to children when we're enforcing 'tidy your room before I get back!" kind of look.
What would you do? I was on the phone and whilst I remained nice, I felt she was rude and threatening in a mum telling me off way.
I want to go over and tell her whats what, but I don't want to fall out with her. She's obviously got a chip on her shoulder, she does have 2 squealing kids who she keeps telling to "shut up", they're 2 and 7! She bought them a puppy which I do feel sorry for, the boy keeps harrasing it and I always hear it whimpering. I know she's clearly got issues, but what a jerk? Or am I being sensitive.
I haven't moved the car, been too busy.

kitsilano Fri 20-Sep-13 22:05:35

What exactly do you intend to report her for?

littlewhitebag Fri 20-Sep-13 22:14:41

I have no idea what you are trying to say. Sorry.

gordyslovesheep Fri 20-Sep-13 22:18:21

for moving your bins and asking you to move your car confused

AbiJen Fri 20-Sep-13 22:20:18

I have 4 kids myself, and I know having kids is tough, but i enjoy my kids, we do fun stuff together, my youngest is 9, and I don't think I ever told them to shut up... no I think I told the 15 year old to because he was being to his 13 year old sister about a month ago.
However, judgemental aside, parenting is tough, but my outlet is having tonnes of fun with the kids, Im on the scouts committee, was the girlguiding Rainbows leader for years, have loads of water fights, slumber parties, turn our kitchen into a disco. she's so uptight, i'd love to teach her to let her hair down, but she's so middle class and tensed about being the perfect mum that she's messing it up.

AbiJen Fri 20-Sep-13 22:22:15

no you're right, I cant report her for anything, but she's constantly harassing me about petty things, these are 2 examples
she shouldnt be having a go at my kids?

ladygoingGaga Fri 20-Sep-13 22:22:21


This is not harassment, not even close. Don't waster their time.

ladygoingGaga Fri 20-Sep-13 22:22:58

Waste! Bloody ipad

AlannaPartridge Fri 20-Sep-13 22:24:56

Why would you report someone to the police for something they haven't done?

Moving bins and asking someone to move their car with a stern look on their face is not harassment. Doesn't even come close.

Icelollycraving Fri 20-Sep-13 22:25:29

Yabu. That isn't harassment,it's an irritation perhaps but I can't see what you intend to report.

gordyslovesheep Fri 20-Sep-13 22:25:48

so you want to report her for being a lesser parent than you?

Hello police - my neighbour isn't as perfect as me - I have 4 kids and our lives are a constant buzz of jolly good fun - she has 2, and quiet frankly, she's no fun at all ...thanks

HeySoulSister Fri 20-Sep-13 22:25:59

The police will laugh at you. There is no crime committed here...

PartyFops Fri 20-Sep-13 22:27:02

YABU, be glad you have no worse problems.

HTH grin

TakingTheStairs Fri 20-Sep-13 22:29:01

Sounds to me like you are creating problems in your head that don't exist in real life.

AgentZigzag Fri 20-Sep-13 22:31:29

Are you saying your neighbours are renting the house next door (with shared path) and they're thinking of buying it?

But why would the holly make it difficult for her to buy the house?

Does the holly belong to her?

I can't see anything in your OP that looks negative or is harassment, but you talk about other times you've talked to her (at least about the gate, why didn't you want a gate, wouldn't it mean you'd see them less?) so maybe there's more to it than just your OP?

ladygoingGaga Fri 20-Sep-13 22:32:12

judgemental aside

Jesus, you couldn't get your judgey pants further up your arse if you tried.

I actually feel sorry for the neighbour

Driz Fri 20-Sep-13 22:32:52

Gordy grin

AbiJen Fri 20-Sep-13 22:33:37

nah! I'm not a perfect parent, far from it - I f up plenty- and I'm glad my life is good, but wtf? I don't need some jerk telling my kids off for a chip on their shoulder, and you're all right.

Sometimes, i think when you get caught up in a situation, like i have, ie I cant see what i've done to piss her off, I've over analysed the situation and made it seem bigger and worse than it is.

So while you're all laughing at this/me, it's actually made me realise this is a bit of a naff problem to even discuss, but for that very reason, I'm glad I posted it.

thank you

AgentZigzag Fri 20-Sep-13 22:38:19

Was there a specific reason her DH needed that space for his car?

Annoying for them, but guests can just park elsewhere.

It would be a bit cheeky if she was getting territorial about the space outside her house.

Have you moved your car yet?

QuintessentialShadows Fri 20-Sep-13 22:44:59

Unless you had parked across a dropped kerb, I dont see why you should have to move your car. The street is public, right? And anybody can park there!

gordyslovesheep Fri 20-Sep-13 22:49:38

I'm honestly NOT laughing at you - just confused as to the actual issue? I don't see where she told your kids off - only the bit where she asked your son to pass on a message

sorry x

AbiJen Fri 20-Sep-13 23:05:46

Seriously people, I am honestly fed up of her, and posting this has been good for me. Sometimes we need a reality check, so I appreciate you laughing, ok, maybe not at me, but at the situation. It made me realise how dumb I sound for getting my knickers in a twist over it.

I don't think I've conveyed how annoyed she seems to be, very well. I'm not in the habit of slagging people off. I just got fed up today.

She didn't ask my son to pass on a message though we assume it was a message. My son told me she came over and was very angry, was ranting about the holly (which I left on the grass verge for, like I said, the council to pick up, so not even in her garden or in her way). He's a 15 year old boy, dragged away from Minecraft to answer the door to some crazy woman. lol.

Also, I know she has been complaining about me to a neighbour further up the road who's 2 daughters have been friends with my older kids (in the same school and year). I can't fathom how she thinks she can come here and suddenly turn people against me. People whom I've know for 8 years and have been good friends with. Bizarre. Like I said, she got me fed up today with her whining about her husband needing to park outside the house. In case his poor legs should tire from parking behind me and however long my car is, further away. I was getting worried she'd knock on my door again, telling me to move. He's home and probably told her to get a life. lol, just like I need to.
Right, I'm off to bed, read a good book.

Thank you guys for the wake up call. I know there are real issues out there, sleep well

AbiJen Fri 20-Sep-13 23:11:12


Driz Fri 20-Sep-13 23:33:02

Aw OP you are sweet.
She does sound annoying and unreasonable, best to just ignore ignore ignore

AgentZigzag Sat 21-Sep-13 00:04:44

It's shitty when you've got anything but a pleasant appropriately chatty neighbour.

The people who've known you for 8 years will just roll their eyes and ignore, I'm sure.

Just be calm with her, and then ignore her too smile

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