Advanced search

WIBU here?

(65 Posts)
IfYouLoveSomebodyLetThemSleep Mon 02-Sep-13 17:59:12

Our drive has lots of blackberries growing on it, the children that live on the street were taking a big interest in me giving some to DS so I invited them to pick some theirselves (after checking for allergies and the usual speech about always checking with an adult before you eat wild berries). I gave them a bowl and told them to get picking.

Next thing I know one of their Dads is storming across the street shouting about them being poisonous, the kids were all crying by that point, thinking that I'd poisoned them.
I calmly pointed out that they are obviously not poisonous as they are blackberries, can be bought at most shops etc. He carried on shouting about not being so reckless in future, how I could have poisoned all the kids.

I apologised for upsetting him but really, there was nothing to be upset about. I still don't think I was being unreasonable for letting the children do something as normal as picking blackberries, or was I?

ANormalOne Mon 02-Sep-13 18:05:31

How old are they? I wouldn't have let them do it by themselves in case they picked anything else and ate it, to avoid accidental poisonings. But his reaction was completely silly and definitely over the top.

Sirzy Mon 02-Sep-13 18:07:07

I wouldn't encourage strange children to pick berries no. And I would be mighty pissed off if someone else encouraged DS to

Trills Mon 02-Sep-13 18:07:31

He is being very silly.

I can understand why someone might not want a young child to be introduced to the idea of "pick things and eat them", but he went about expressing that feeling in a very over-the-top way.

OHforDUCKScake Mon 02-Sep-13 18:09:38

I think you were being U.

Even though I can see you were just trying to be nice and the father was being OTT.

Cluffyflump Mon 02-Sep-13 18:10:19

If the kids are old enough to play out, they should be old enough to know what blackberries are.
Bloody cotton wool parents!

FredFlintstonesSister Mon 02-Sep-13 18:12:18

I think you're not supposed to eat berries growing near a road because they pick up traffic pollution. I could be completely wrong, but people thinking this sort of thing would be reason enough not to encourage others' children to pick berries on your drive! X

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 02-Sep-13 18:14:52

Sirzy why? It's a bloody Blackberry! OP YANBU of course the Dad sounds like an idiot.

Sirzy Mon 02-Sep-13 18:16:08

Because I don't think strangers should be encouraging children to eat food, certainly not pick food. There is no need.

Why not just say to them "well come back with an adult and feel free to help yourself to some if they say ok?"

FrauMoose Mon 02-Sep-13 18:16:31

Crazy, crazy world.

My husband is a keen (and knowledgeable) forager for mushrooms. On our recent holiday my daughter's friend joined us in eating a breakfast made from delicious parasol mushrooms.

It's Coke and cheesy wotsits and hydrogenated fats and and milk chocolate that has hardly any cocoa solids and fast food burgers that that are bad for you....

CwtchesAndCuddles Mon 02-Sep-13 18:19:02

I can't believe people are saying you were being unreasonable!!!! Blackberries are a healthy natural free food - what is wrong with people today.

I have spent the afternoon picking blackberries with my children and will be making bramble jelly tomorrow.

Sirzy Mon 02-Sep-13 18:20:26

Frau - it is different when it is with a child you know. You can't make decisions yourself to feed a strangers child.

DoJo Mon 02-Sep-13 18:23:51

It's tricky - on the one hand it's obvious that you were being kind and trying to encourage these children to eat something delicious and healthy. However, the dad wasn't to know that you had given them the speech about not eating any old berries, and we are always drumming into children that you don't accept sweets etc from strangers, so perhaps he was concerned that this was setting a dangerous precedent by encouraging them.

Topseyt Mon 02-Sep-13 18:25:02

He was being completely OTT.

I have always picked blackberries and so have my children and most of their friend.

Get a sackful of cotton wool, take it round to his house and tell him you thought he must be in need of this because he obviously shrouds his kids in it.

IfYouLoveSomebodyLetThemSleep Mon 02-Sep-13 18:27:04

I do know the children as DS plays out on the cul de sac a lot with them, have had them round to play etc. there are no other berries on the drive, only blackberries. I told them all the info they needed to know about only going for big black ones.

Maybe I was BU, I was just so shocked that they had no idea what they were and wanted them to have fun learning about them. They're only blackberries FGS!

FrauMoose Mon 02-Sep-13 18:27:15

I think it's about us -as a society/community - empowering children to make sensible decisions themselves. It's just a bit unfortunate that some parents are fearful to the point of stupidity. (Quite possibly the same parents who think it's fine to let small kids have unlimted access to technology on which they encounter all sorts of scary and unsuitable stuff.)

diddl Mon 02-Sep-13 18:28:50

He was OTT imo, but do you run a car up & down said drive-if so, yuk!

Sleepyhoglet Mon 02-Sep-13 18:28:50

So he was fine about letting them play outside alone, but got funny when you interacted. You are not unreasonable at all.

Floggingmolly Mon 02-Sep-13 18:30:46

I think it was a perfectly innocuous thing to do. And the op is not a "stranger" to these kids; she lives in the house across the street from mad Dad!!

Sirzy Mon 02-Sep-13 18:32:34

Why not send them home to check first then?

CaptainSweatPants Mon 02-Sep-13 18:33:42


He's a nutter!
We pick black berries on the way home from Sch by a main road

No one's died yet!

BrokenSunglasses Mon 02-Sep-13 18:33:43

I don't think YWBU. I'd like a neighbour like you.

Chrysanthemum5 Mon 02-Sep-13 18:34:23

We have blackberries growing wild in a dead end past our house. The local children come round and pick them, they then bring them to me to check that they are all blackberries and then the children take them home.

YANBU you know these children and as long as the children know they can't just pick and eat anything then it's fine

Jan49 Mon 02-Sep-13 18:37:14

He was OTT but I don't think you should introduce other people's dc to idea of picking fruit off bushes and eating it, not without knowing the parents well and knowing they're fine about it. The trouble is, the dc might then pick something like a berry off a bush and eat it.

Snatchoo Mon 02-Sep-13 18:41:11

YANBU at all IMO.

As Cluffy says - if they're old enough to be playing out they're old enough to pick blackberries.

Jan49 - the OP does specifically say that she gave them a lecture about checking with an adult first....which they were!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now