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To think that an uncle IS a close relative?

(87 Posts)
Watto1 Fri 30-Aug-13 19:52:00

My uncle sadly passed away a few days ago. His funeral is on Thursday next week. My boss says that I can't have compassionate leave to go to his funeral as compassionate leave is 'for close relatives only.'

I will be going regardless, using my annual leave rather than compassionate leave, but AIBU to think that an uncle should be considered a close relative?

TylerHopkins Fri 30-Aug-13 19:54:37

You could be closer to your uncle than you are to your father. This whole thing pisses me off. You should be allocated a number of 'compassionate' days and who you take them off for is your business.

Ididabravebravething Fri 30-Aug-13 19:55:14

course it is close relative.

grrr to your employers

(sorry for your loss btw)

LindaMcCartneySausage Fri 30-Aug-13 19:55:57

Im sorry for your loss.

YANBU if you were close to him and you are showing your support for your cousins and his wife. You obviously are. Regardless of labels attached to familial relationships, your boss should understand your wish to attend a funeral for whoever matters to you and give you compassionate leave. No one attends funerals for fun.

MsVestibule Fri 30-Aug-13 19:56:41

Sorry, but no, if I was an employer, I don't think I'd give compassionate leave for an uncle either. As a general rule, it would be for grandparents, parents and siblings only.

I'm sorry for your loss though flowers.

flossy101 Fri 30-Aug-13 19:56:41

Sorry for your loss. I agree uncle is a close relative.

CailinDana Fri 30-Aug-13 19:56:45

Yanbu. My sister couldn't go to her good friend's funeral because of heartless rules like this. Why anyone would expect loyalty from employees who are treated like this is beyond me.

Sorry that you lost your uncle.

PumpkinPositive Fri 30-Aug-13 19:57:45

An uncle IS a close relative. Your boss, on the other hand, is an arsehole.

Mind you, I'd take compassionate leave for my budgies. grin

Ididabravebravething Fri 30-Aug-13 19:57:52

ps. yes, GO btw. You would only regret it if you didnt

AnyFucker Fri 30-Aug-13 19:58:05

I am sorry for your loss

but I think YABU

Employers have to draw the line somewhere and I think we all have to accept that the minority of piss takers have spoiled it for the rest of us

I think your employers would be BU is they didn't allow your AL though

nancerama Fri 30-Aug-13 20:02:51

I'm sorry for your loss.

Usually what constitutes a close relative is laid out in your contract. Some bosses do everything by the book, others are a bit more flexible. I think many of these contractural rules are a throwback to the days when people came from bigger families.

MsVestibule Fri 30-Aug-13 20:03:11

CailinDana why wasn't your sister allowed to take annual leave? Whilst I don't think a manager should have to give compassionate leave, they should be able to take AL.

Watto1 Fri 30-Aug-13 20:03:49

He will allow AL, fortunately. To be fair to him, it's HR policy, rather than him personally not allowing the compassionate leave. Still annoying though. However, as other posters have said, I suppose a line has to be drawn somewhere. Thank you for your condolences everyone.thanks

motownmover Fri 30-Aug-13 20:07:18

A good compassionate leave policy should allow HR or head of Dept discretion.

I've given Comp leave when someone has lost their pet and I think it was right to do so.

Bowlersarm Fri 30-Aug-13 20:10:01

An uncle is a close enough relative to want to go to his funeral.

TylerHopkins Fri 30-Aug-13 20:10:05

I want to work for mowtownmover

iago Fri 30-Aug-13 20:16:08

I once taught at a school where a girl in my tutor group was off EVERY Friday to attend a funeral - travelling community where funerals are very important, but 30 plus in a year?? So, I can understand why a business would restrict 'close relatives' to grandparents, parents, offspring (God forbid) and siblings. There could be dozens of uncles and aunts and cousins. So I think you should be prepared to take a day's leave if you want to go to the funeral.

beginnings Fri 30-Aug-13 20:16:49

No, that's his interpretation of the policy. I've never heard of a compassionate leave policy that's so stringent. Discretion can certainly be applied.

I'm sorry for your loss.

ApocalypseThen Fri 30-Aug-13 20:17:03

Of course an uncle is a close relative - madness to suggest otherwise.

Watto1 Fri 30-Aug-13 20:18:16

I am prepared to take AL and will be doing so.

motownmover Fri 30-Aug-13 20:18:22

Sorry beginnings I have and have changed a few in my time to be wider in interpretation.

Sorry for your loss OP.

pootlebug Fri 30-Aug-13 20:18:54

In the large multinational I used to work for, an Uncle wasn't classed a 'close relative' either

OnTheBottomWithAWomensWeekly Fri 30-Aug-13 20:20:34

Maybe to you, but not to many. And it could get out of hand...I have 12 uncles and aunts, and many cousins. Presumably the cousins would have to count as close family too if their parents do?

froken Fri 30-Aug-13 20:21:34

Yanbu your are genetically related as much to an uncle as you are to a grandparent (25%)

I'm sorry for your loss, stupid boss sad

HappyMummyOfOne Fri 30-Aug-13 20:21:36

Ours is spouses, children, siblings and parents. Standard amongst lots of employers. Annual leave can be requested for any others and granted at short notice. HR follow the handbook so as to treat all employees the same and fairly.

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