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To not allow this child on my property?

(63 Posts)
Porridge05 Fri 30-Aug-13 16:19:42

Background info: We live in a terraced cottage, in a terrace of roughly ten houses. The driveway to our house is accessible by driving down a narrow track in between our terrace and another terrace next to it. To get to your own driveway is is neccessary to drive across each others driveways to reach your own, and each house owner is given legal right of way to travel across each, until they reach their own. We live almost at the opposite end of the track and therefore we have legal right of way over everyone's drive, whereas the child I speak about lives 3 doors down from the track, so they do not technically have right of way over our land.

The little girl I am talking about is an only child of about 7 or 8 who lives with her mum. She plays out around the back of the houses on the driveways as it is much safer than playing on the main road at the front. I have never before had a problem with her playing on our drive before now and actually thought it was lovely to see a child enjoying the great outdoors.

However, a few weeks ago she took it upon herself to make a mixture of stones and mud in her back garden and rub it into the bonnets of several of the neighbours cars - including my partner's brand new shiny BMW (She seems to have gone for the expensive cars as mine and my friends little runnabouts were left mud free) :/ . Our friends who live next door, at the end of the terrace caught her in the act, confronted her and told us what they had seen. Her mother came out, told us that it wasn't her fault and didn't apologise for her child's behaviour at all!

Thankfully after carefully washing it all off there isn't any really obvious scratching so we haven't taken it any further. This child now keeps coming to ride her bike up and down our property - I have politely asked her not to do so after she tried to purposely damage peoples cars but I keep catching her doing it anyway when she thinks I'm not watching. Would it be unreasonable to have a very firm but polite word with her mother about this?

Faverolles Fri 30-Aug-13 16:22:49

I have no idea if I'm being OTT, but the mother sounds like she's not really bothered that her dd was vandalising cars, so if it happened again, I'd probably ring the police about it (but not 999, that telly would be OTT!)


LeaveTheBastid Fri 30-Aug-13 16:25:08

As long as she stays away from your cars then leave her be, she's a child fgs. She's doing no harm by just riding her bike.

Plus it doesn't sound like you'd get far with her mum.

Porridge05 Fri 30-Aug-13 16:38:48

LeavetheBastid, I really have no problem with her riding her bike, she's been doing it for a while and I used to say hello and have little chats whith her whilst she did.
However, after she essentially vandalised our and several neighbours cars I'm a bit reluctant to allow her on our land whatsoever. Technically neither her or her mother have any legal entitlement to be on our land. I'm worried that by letting her carry on playing on our land that I'm basically saying we're not upset or bothered that she tried to damage his car, IYSWIM?

LeaveTheBastid Fri 30-Aug-13 16:43:51

Can you not talk to her if you were once on friendly chat basis with her? Explain what she did was wrong and could have been very expensive and if she does it again you'll not be allowing her onto your property at all in the future? Her mum doesn't sound like she gave her that talk, so maybe you could instead?

Porridge05 Fri 30-Aug-13 16:47:15

LeaveTheBastid, I already have... more than once :/ It doesn't stop her having another go when she thinks I'm not looking.

toffeelolly Fri 30-Aug-13 17:13:09

YANBU You have. a right to say something if she is in your property because by the sound of the mother if damage was to be caused am pretty sure she would not pay for it .

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream Fri 30-Aug-13 17:21:29

I'm not sure a 7 yr old rubbing mud onto a car would really constitute vandalism, especially as it didn't do any damage. I would just tell the kid not to go near the cars again and leave it at that

spongebob13 Fri 30-Aug-13 17:34:45

it was a mixture of stones and mud and if there was damage the mum would most definitely be liable to pay.

hermioneweasley Fri 30-Aug-13 17:37:40

After that little stunt and the mother's response, she had lost any good will. Tell her to stop. But sure what you can do if she continues though.

pigletmania Fri 30-Aug-13 17:42:08

yanbu at all, you have every right to say who goes on your property, LTB, only playing, she is vandalising property and mum is not taking any responsibility, she is repeatidly doing this, so op has every right to ban the little girl from her area.

usualsuspect Fri 30-Aug-13 17:44:41

I'd let her ride her bike.

pigletmania Fri 30-Aug-13 17:45:52

usual, even if she damages your car hmm

usualsuspect Fri 30-Aug-13 17:46:42

She damaged the car,once.

I'd tell her to stay away from the cars.

usualsuspect Fri 30-Aug-13 17:47:21

Well actually she didn't do any lasting damage to the car did she

pigletmania Fri 30-Aug-13 17:48:10

no usual, she is repeatedly going for the cars, telling her once should be enough, again now way would she be allowed on my property

pigletmania Fri 30-Aug-13 17:49:58

thats not the point usual, she is doing someting that is unacceptable, it is somebodies property, would you like it if she did that to your car, and kept doing it after you told her not to. She is 7 not 17 months, even my ASD dd 6 would understand no, and would get a right telling off if she did that

Strictly1 Fri 30-Aug-13 17:50:31

YADNBU. I would be livid at the mud and stones stunt as by that age she knows that is not right and her mum should definitely know better.

pigletmania Fri 30-Aug-13 17:51:44

it is up to her mother to take her somewhere safe to ride her bike, not rely on the good will of the op. hopefully if op does not allow this girl onto her land, she will learn not to vandalise cars, she is old enough

Crabbypink Fri 30-Aug-13 17:52:53

Be careful ... parents who take no responsibility also know their "rights", and you may get sued if the child falls and injures herself in your garden, especially if she fell over something you left out. Best to ask the girl again. Failing that, you could get an injunction against her ... oh, now we just sound so American, don't we?

pigletmania Fri 30-Aug-13 17:53:06

if the mud mixture is runny enough it could get under the bonnet into the engine and cause damage

usualsuspect Fri 30-Aug-13 17:56:33

Shes repeatedly riding her bike,not rubbing mud into the cars.

pigletmania Fri 30-Aug-13 17:58:21

no usual, if you read the ops posts she is repeatidly rubbing mud and stones into the cars

LeaveTheBastid Fri 30-Aug-13 18:00:07

Piglet she is not repeatedly going for the cars, she is repeatedly riding over OPs driveway when she has asked her not to for rubbing mud onto the car once.

That's it.

I got up to much worse when I was 7, I'm sure most of you all did too.

EldritchCleavage Fri 30-Aug-13 18:00:09

Is she out a lot, usually on her own?

My parents had some local kids start petty vandalism around their street. My mother realised it was an attention-seeking thing by lonely, neglected children. They did speak to the parents when their back windscreen wiper was yanked off, and the parents paid to replace it. Otherwise, they tried to ignore it. Once they weren't getting a reaction from my parents or the neighbours the poor little things started going elsewhere.

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