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Oh god, I was unreasonable wasn't I...

(109 Posts)
Peanate Thu 29-Aug-13 11:17:40

I'll try to keep this short. DH and I both work full time, and we take turns leaving work a bit early to pick up the kids. He had a work function to go to tonight, so needed to leave the house by 6pm, just as I would get home (he picked up kids).

I emailed him this afternoon asking him to just get the kids in the bath, and I'd sort their dinner out when I got home. I'm not eating the same food as the kids (or him) in the evenings these days so make my dinner separately most nights.

I got home and found that whilst he had put them in the bath, he'd also made a huge pot of cheesy pasta (that I won't eat), using half the ingredients that I was planning on using for my own dinner, and also most of the milk meaning there is barely enough left for breakfast. I know he was trying to help, but it was so not what I'd asked him to do - and in fact it had made him stressed as he had run out of time to get himself ready - which is another reason why I had told him not to worry about their dinner!

Anyway so I snapped at him (for ruining my own dinner plans, and wasting ingredients), and then he snapped back at me for snapping at him.

The upshot is that he's gone out without saying goodbye, and there are two large portions of cheesy pasta in the freezer.

I'm an ungrateful controlling cow aren't I...... (Go on, give it to me....)

TSSDNCOP Thu 29-Aug-13 11:21:03

Yep, but I go batshit if my food plans are messed about with too. He could have solved the milk thing by popping into a garage on his way home.

SaucyJack Thu 29-Aug-13 11:22:45

Assuming you don't have some sort of allergy that would make it impossible to eat what was left..... then yeah.

His house/his food too.

wheretoyougonow Thu 29-Aug-13 11:23:10

Yes but it will soon be forgotten and on the plus side you have two children's dinners in the freezer!

RedundantExpat Thu 29-Aug-13 11:23:22

Send him a text saying sorry ... and could he pick up some milk on his way home grin

ShatnersBassoon Thu 29-Aug-13 11:23:48

Yes, but not so unreasonable that an apology won't put everything back to normal.

MisselthwaiteManor Thu 29-Aug-13 11:23:56

If the ingredients for your dinner are in the cheesy pasta why won't you eat the cheesy pasta?

Peanate Thu 29-Aug-13 11:25:50

He did offer to go get more milk after he heard me tell DS he couldn't have a cup of it as there wasn't enough left. There's enough until tomorrow so not a crisis.

TeWiSavesTheDay Thu 29-Aug-13 11:26:30

Have you got a written meal plan? Otherwise he is not a mind reader...

Ifcatshadthumbs Thu 29-Aug-13 11:27:43

Yup just say sorry. Try not to say "sorry, but...." Even though I can see why you were frustrated.

Peanate Thu 29-Aug-13 11:27:51

I can't eat pasta in big portions as it messes with my stomach. I just avoid it completely at night as I get cramps.

No chance of him getting milk tonight - he's at a black tie function with an open bar...!

trashcanjunkie Thu 29-Aug-13 11:28:07

lost it in the telling, but not unreasonable to feel bloody irritated.

jammiedonut Thu 29-Aug-13 11:28:32

Yabu,but at least you know it. I've been known to go apeshit over similar, but as pp said, he's not a mind reader!

trashcanjunkie Thu 29-Aug-13 11:28:40

totally hearing you on the pasta thing too!

DioneTheDiabolist Thu 29-Aug-13 11:29:27

Yes OP, you were unreasonable.

specialsubject Thu 29-Aug-13 11:30:27

how was he supposed to know what you were planning to make for your separate dinner?

Peanate Thu 29-Aug-13 11:31:23

Bugger, I knew it. Totally unreasonable wasn't I.

Fuck. I hate apologising. My inner control freak does not like admitting when I was wrong.

TeWiSavesTheDay Thu 29-Aug-13 11:32:55

I hate apologising too.

Swallow your pride, say sorry and maybe suggest a meal plan. If you both know what is planned it could avoid future incidents.

Peanate Thu 29-Aug-13 11:33:41

He wasn't supposed to make their dinner! He was originally going out straight from work, but wanted to drop his car at home, so came back.

I had asked him to not make their dinner (or mine), so I didn't think there was a need to tell him what I was planning to make for myself.

This has to be the lamest thing to argue over of all time.

mynewpassion Thu 29-Aug-13 11:33:59

Just apologize.

MisselthwaiteManor Thu 29-Aug-13 11:37:22

Did you say 'don't cook their dinner' or did you say 'Ill cook their dinner' because if it was the latter he might have been trying to help. The former I would be annoyed too.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Thu 29-Aug-13 11:38:03

I don't think you were that unreasonable. Maybe a tinsy bit, but it would really annoy me to have my dinner planned, and then come home to find dh had use ingredients/all the milk in something I couldn't eat.

Just one of those misunderstandings - if you apologise for snapping, he'll probably apologise for the cheesy pasta.

Montybojangles Thu 29-Aug-13 11:39:14

Suck it up and say your sorry. He was trying to do something helpful to save you a job.

BoozyBear Thu 29-Aug-13 11:41:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Thu 29-Aug-13 11:43:14

You are and you aren't smile

He knows you are eating separately and presumably what kinds of food you are eating, therefore should have been aware that you might have been planning to use those ingredients for yourself.

You told him not to do the kids tea, you would. But I guess he took that more as a 'Don't worry, I'll make the kids tea' than a 'I know what I'm doing with the stuff in the fridge so don't mess with it' and he thought he was helping.

However, it's worth a quick chat over, not WW3 smile

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