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To think a no kids wedding should mean no kids at all?

(123 Posts)
CardiffUniversityNetballTeam Sun 25-Aug-13 09:42:27

Friend is getting married. Invite says no kids. Fair enough. But her DC will be there. And her nieces and nephews. But no one else can bring their children as it will mean there are "too many".
How many kids is too many kids? Where do we draw the line? And what about DC to whom she is godmother? And what about teenagers? What is the cut off point? 13? 18?
Fucking weddings.

OPeaches Sun 25-Aug-13 09:46:02

It's her wedding, would it not be a bit weird if she didn't invite her own kids? The majority of weddi gs I've been to seem to be family kids and tiny babies only, which seems perfectly sensible to me.

Anyway - her wedding, her choice surely?

fluffyraggies Sun 25-Aug-13 09:46:47

Do you have DCs OP? And what ages?

I think it's getting more common these days for invites like this.

At least the invite was clear ....

Personally i love kids at a wedding. Each to their own though. But B+G have to be prepared for some guests not to be able to make it if they have no child care.

mynameisslimshady Sun 25-Aug-13 09:47:05

Her having her own children, nieces and nephews there without wanting the rest of the guests children there is perfectly fine. She's the one paying for it.

IComeFromALandDownUnder Sun 25-Aug-13 09:47:25

I thought it was normal to have family children only at a wedding. As regards teenagers if there was a no kids rule I would think not more for a numbers/cost reason then anything else.

CaterpillarCara Sun 25-Aug-13 09:48:03

I think it is fine. I like children at weddings, but family children can sometimes be plenty!

WillyandTig Sun 25-Aug-13 09:48:51

Family children only sounds normal to me too. If half their guests have children and bring them, imagine the price!

Yonionekanobe Sun 25-Aug-13 09:49:15

Family children (and bf babies) is increasingly the norm it seems.

DH and I just embrace the opportunity to doend some time together and with friends and DD has a lovely time with GPs or aunties.

moustachio Sun 25-Aug-13 09:49:50

YABU. I'd only want friends dc's who I know. Ones I've known from babies and not work friends kids who I barely see etc.

TheGirlFromIpanema Sun 25-Aug-13 09:50:53

You don't get to draw the line as a guest hmm and no age limit is necessary surely. Either a name is on the invite or it isn't.

I think its perfectly ok etiquette wise for the children of immediate family to be invited but no others tbh.

I should add that in my view child free weddings are usually joyless affairs anyway so your dcs won't be missing out by not attending wink

goldenlula Sun 25-Aug-13 09:51:48

I would think it is perfectly ok to invite immediate family children only.

CardiffUniversityNetballTeam Sun 25-Aug-13 09:53:28

I seem to be seriously lacking in my knowledge of wedding etiquette here.

I just thought that if a person had their own children then they would probably like children and wouldn't mind having them at their wedding.

If cost were an issue then perhaps invite less people but include the children of those you have invited in the invitation.

Although, as someone has said, her wedding her rules and if I was really upset by it, then I wouldn't go.

Another reason why I am NEVER getting married, the drama and the politics of it.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 25-Aug-13 09:54:05

I absolutely agree that family/bridal party children is fine but children if friends/more distant relations should be excluded if need be.

I personally would rarely go to a wedding where my children were not invited due to our family/ work circumstances but I wouldn't get offended or upset about it.

Lweji Sun 25-Aug-13 09:54:45

I agree, depending on how many friends have children, it could become a children's party rather than a wedding.
And if all the friends have 2-3 children, it just multiplies the catering costs, and they would have to exclude adult guests.

Lweji Sun 25-Aug-13 09:55:24

Chances are you wouldn't have been invited if all the guests could take children with them.

MrsBungle Sun 25-Aug-13 09:55:53

Totally fine IMO.

CardiffUniversityNetballTeam Sun 25-Aug-13 09:57:07

How do you know I wouldn't have been invites Lwej?
Are you the bride?

Lweji Sun 25-Aug-13 09:57:14

Another reason why I am NEVER getting married, the drama and the politics of it.

I don't see any drama, only what you are making. smile

lborolass Sun 25-Aug-13 09:57:27

I don't think you need to be an expert in wedding etiquette to realise that the bride and groom can invite whoever the hell they like.

It's that simple and I just don't understand the endless pages and pages of angst devoted to the subject on MN.

Lweji Sun 25-Aug-13 09:58:17

"Chances are"

I have no idea, but it's possible, unless you are her best friend or very very close.

attheendoftheday Sun 25-Aug-13 09:58:18

YABU. Do you really think they should have excluded their own children? Excluding bf babies is also not on imo.

Ragwort Sun 25-Aug-13 09:58:32

It's an invitation, not a summons, you don't have to accept it you know.

Personally I don't much like going to weddings, so unless close family, I just send my regrets.

Why do people get so hung up about weddings?

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 25-Aug-13 09:59:19


If you reduce the guests to accommodate children then its quite likely you will end up with nothing more than a large kids party with a token amount of adults

MadeOfStarDust Sun 25-Aug-13 09:59:20

I don't go to deliberately child free weddings - they are the ones with "drama"... and as a pp said - joyless....

but seems to be the way nowadays, a "grown up" showy thing rather than a whole family warts and all thing....

Sirzy Sun 25-Aug-13 09:59:31

She wants children close to her but not everyones children. Makes perfect sense to me!

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