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uninvited to wedding

(83 Posts)
treesntrees Thu 22-Aug-13 18:32:14

am I being unreasonable to be upset that son and daughter in law have been un-invited to cousin's wedding because they were late RSPBing due to difficulties in arranging child care for child free wedding?

YouStayClassySanDiego Thu 22-Aug-13 18:33:41

How long ago was the invite sent, did your ds and dil tell the bride they had difficulties sorting out care?

BadgersRetreat Thu 22-Aug-13 18:34:44

if the wedding is this Saturday then yes YABU grin

Teeb Thu 22-Aug-13 18:34:44

How late? Did they make any effort to get in touch with the couple to explain that they were trying to find childcare and would let them know for definite by a certain date? I'm guessing not, in which case they were not uninvited, they declined the invite.


CaptainJamesTKirk Thu 22-Aug-13 18:35:25

Chuckling at RSPBing....

YouStayClassySanDiego Thu 22-Aug-13 18:36:10

Captain grin

FruOla Thu 22-Aug-13 18:37:11

How long have they been 'sitting' on the invitation?
Did they contact the B&G to say they were having problems with childcare for that day?

VegasIsBest Thu 22-Aug-13 18:37:16

It's unreasonable to expect the invitation to be kept open forever as the bride and groom have to plan numbers and may want to invite someone else from a reserve list.

Communication is key. Did they explain the reason for the delay and ask for an extension in the RSVP deadline?

mynameisslimshady Thu 22-Aug-13 18:37:16

They weren't really uninvited though, they just didn't reply by the sound of things. Yabu.

BeerTricksPotter Thu 22-Aug-13 18:37:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JassyRadlett Thu 22-Aug-13 18:39:02

If they were having childcare issues they should have called and explained the situation and asked if the couple minded them RSVPing a little late.

In the bride/groom's shoes I would have chased but I get really irritated by the expectation that people don't need to respond because they'll be chased up.

fifi669 Thu 22-Aug-13 18:39:32

Nope. Uninviting is just rude.

IvanaCake Thu 22-Aug-13 18:42:57

Yabu I think. There has to be a cut off point for RSVPing so that the bride and groom can confirm numbers with the venue.

MrsLouisTheroux Thu 22-Aug-13 18:43:31

If they didn't respond by the RSVP date and didn't let the couple know why then it is perfectly reasonable to assume that they weren't going. YABU.

LindyHemming Thu 22-Aug-13 18:44:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Thu 22-Aug-13 18:45:10

I don't see it as 'uninviting' really.

If they had accepted and agreed to go, then they were told they were no longer welcome...I'd see that as being uninvited.

CatAmongThePigeons Thu 22-Aug-13 18:48:06

Not RSVPing is the guests saying that they do not wish to come. Its not the hosts uninvitinh

MrsKoala Thu 22-Aug-13 18:50:24

Depends on the timing really. We still had people texting the morning of our wedding saying 'we aren't coming' err no shit sherlock, WE decided that for you 3 weeks ago when we had to give caterers final numbers after numerous chase up calls and if you turned up now there would be no food for you and i would tell you to fuck off ask you nicely to leave!

MintyChops Thu 22-Aug-13 18:55:05

If they didn't RSVP and didn't make any contact to say they were struggling to find childcare then they have been quite rude and it's fair enough that they are no longer invited.

2rebecca Thu 22-Aug-13 18:59:18

You're unreasonable to be getting overinvolved in your adult son's affairs anyway in my opinion.
If they didn't bother letting the bride and groom know they might come then they didn't actually RSVP so effectively declined the invite. They should have been more grown up about it rather than complaining to mummy.

Jan49 Thu 22-Aug-13 19:08:02

I'm not surprised someone's feathers were ruffled over them being late RSPBing. grin

They've not been uninvited. They've failed to reply to an invitation which is a rude way of saying "we're not coming".

FruOla Thu 22-Aug-13 19:08:51

grin 2rebecca

SuffolkNWhat Thu 22-Aug-13 19:10:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrangeLily Thu 22-Aug-13 19:12:39

If they were horrendously late then it's their own fault. Most couples set a reasonable RSVP date so they've got a bit of leeway on the dates anyway.

TheCuntingPigeon Thu 22-Aug-13 19:12:45


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