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To be pissed off with DS1 for not getting a job? And how can I help him?

(46 Posts)
LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sun 28-Jul-13 14:06:48

Genuine AIBU - I told DS1 after Christmas to start trying to get a summer job lined up for between A levels and (fingers crossed) start of uni. End of A levels arrived and then he starts looking. Predictably, he can't get a job. We get on well so I'm surprised how pissed off with him I am. I don't want to let it affect our relationship but I'm finding it very hard to be calm and sensible about this. In the current climate, are summer jobs really so difficult to find? Am I BU?

On the flipside, he has been to every shop within walking/cycling distance to ask if they are hiring. He's made countlesss online applications and asked everyone he knows if they know of available work.

Only 2 of his friends have jobs.

So AIBU to be pissed off with him and is there anything more he can to do get work?

JaneFonda Sun 28-Jul-13 14:10:43


Summer jobs now are pretty much impossible to find, and looking at Christmas wouldn't have made a difference anyway.

There will, presumably, be an influx of students returning from university, who will already have had a job and will go back to it in the summer, as well as all the other students who have finished GCSEs and A Levels.

It is not easy, for anyone!

It sounds like he's been doing a fantastic job of looking for work - I could understand you being annoyed if he wasn't doing anything, but it seems like he's doing everything he can to get a job.

Try and be a bit more supportive, instead of making him feel worse for being unemployed.

PumpkinPositive Sun 28-Jul-13 14:11:12

He hasn't helped himself by leaving it until the last minute, certainly. Given that only 2 of his friends have jobs, this suggests there may not be many to come by. Perhaps this year's experience will teach him a valuable lesson about the benefits of forward planning?

Can he sign or? Or, failing that, at least do some volunteering to put on his CV to make him more attractive to prospective employers?

chickensaladagain Sun 28-Jul-13 14:11:13


If we are recruiting we want people to start now! Maximum we do is recruit 4 weeks in advance to allow for notice periods so if he asked before his a levels he would have been told no

You can't really help him, he is doing all the right things but its so expensive to recruit that most firms don't want summer casuals anymore

LineRunner Sun 28-Jul-13 14:11:40

My DD (17) and her friends are also looking. Nada.

bigfuckoffpie Sun 28-Jul-13 14:11:46

YAB a bit U. He could have tried harder before, but some places only hire seasonal staff closer to the time, not around Christmas. And he is trying, and jobs are in short supply. It'll be a lesson for next year.

Could he find voluntary work to do so at least that's something on his CV?

PumpkinPositive Sun 28-Jul-13 14:11:50

Sign on

louloutheshamed Sun 28-Jul-13 14:14:50

When I finished my a levels 10 years ago I got a summer job straight away, and then every summer after than through uni.

I am now a teacher and when I was telling my a level students about this they were mainly gobsmacked at how easy it had been for me. I just don't think the same jobs are around now. Having said that some of them have got jobs in eg, fruit packing factories, nightclubs, etc. a world away from my cushy office number.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sun 28-Jul-13 14:20:08

Thanks for all your replies. Thankfully I have been supporting DS and keeping my feelings on the matter to myself. It's actually a great relief to hear that I am BU. smile

I don't think they are alowed to sign on between school and uni Pumpkin

Eyesunderarock Sun 28-Jul-13 14:21:50

They often have temporary jobs here, but you need to grab whilst they are going.
Supermarket temp jobs are all online now, e.g.

It's a tough climate out there at the moment, as you said, only 2 of his friends have jobs.
He could volunteer to get him out the house and acquiring some skills if the money isn't your prime focus.

WinnieFosterTether Sun 28-Jul-13 14:24:36

I don't think YWBU to ask him to think about it at Christmas. I used to be involved with a number of charities who had opportunities working overseas during the summer (and the places were funded!) and he might have been able to find something like that if he had forward planned.
Now that he is looking, I think YABU to still be annoyed (unless he's like my dnephews who won't even consider call centres or shops or any of the other jobs myself and my friends did as students!).

MoominsYonisAreScary Sun 28-Jul-13 14:26:16

Can he not get a job in a pub? Ds1 struggled to find pt work until he turned 18 and was able to do bar work.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sun 28-Jul-13 14:30:15

Thanks for the links Eyes

He's worth his weight in gold at home at the mo doing ironing, clearning, cooking etc etc under the guise of perfecting those 'life skills' for when he leaves. smile

He's planning to scoot off to his uni town as soon as he knows whether he has the grades, so he can get a term time job there.

Rummikub Sun 28-Jul-13 14:31:12

I would encourage him to gain some voluntary work, then to look for work experience opportunities in advance for while he is at university.

Both are invaluable for his cv. Work experience does need to be planned for in advance.

Eyesunderarock Sun 28-Jul-13 14:32:30

For me, the fact he's useful around the home would be a huge plus. Mine both are, and when DD returned from Uni for three months, she stepped right in and resumed a useful role.
There are very few studenty-type jobs going, unlike when I was a student.

DrCoconut Sun 28-Jul-13 14:35:04

Unless money is a real problem possibly he'd be better off doing a bit of voluntary work and relaxing so he is not burnt out at the start with uni.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sun 28-Jul-13 14:36:12

He's even thought of taking in ironing as he's very good - and quick - at it but we wouldn't have the first idea how to start that up re insurance etc. I suppose he can look into it more as, going by what's been said here, the chances of a summer job are quite slim.

Beastofburden Sun 28-Jul-13 14:39:04

Meh, I think he has shown good effort on going around. At Xmas he had more important things to do, like A2 modules and sorting out his u choice. The country is full of graduates with no job, never mind school leavers, so don't expect miracles. He prob wont get a job at his Uni town either- not sure what the point of paying rent earlier than you have to would be ??

Why don't you ask him to do some hideous job you have been putting off (decluttering, redecorating, gardening) and pay him £10 an hour for it? Maybe your friends would do the same?

ChipsNKetchup Sun 28-Jul-13 14:39:05

It is so hard finding work at the moment. The situation is soul destroying.

When I left school my town had negative unemployment and we all walked straight into work. Now unemployment is massive. Would agree that any voluntary work he can do would be a CV boost.

ihavenonameonhere Sun 28-Jul-13 14:39:54

Could he do some volunteering?

Beastofburden Sun 28-Jul-13 14:41:15

If he's good at ironing, ring a company that offers ironing and say he would work for them, a lot of their regulars will be busy looking after the kids over the summer holidays.

TheAwfulDaughter Sun 28-Jul-13 14:43:21

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morethanpotatoprints Sun 28-Jul-13 14:45:14


My ds1 almost 22 has been working since he was 16 and supporting himself through A levels and Uni, jobs were hard to find then as well. My ds2 walked straight into a job after I had spent 2 hours telling him how he had wasted his chances after leaving before the end of his A levels. He found a job within an hour.
If you tell employers you only want temporary work, you won't get a job. It may not be exactly what they want but there are jobs.
My DS1 has about 4 jobs, one is a zero contract with a Pizza delivery company, but he earns a lot at weekend.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sun 28-Jul-13 14:48:04

I wouldn't need to pretend to be him TAD - he can do his own smile
Here, it's a case of no one's hiring rather than his lack of experience. I can see how volunteering in a charity shop would help for retail experience, though.

TheAwfulDaughter Sun 28-Jul-13 14:48:23

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