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To sellotape a bow to her head and have done with it?

(104 Posts)
DuchessofHaphazard Tue 09-Jul-13 16:26:05

Whenever I take DD (8mo) anywhere, she always gets mistaken for a boy. This doesn't bother me at all - she's bald as a coot, never wears pastel pink (hate the colour), rarely wears dresses, is often in some of her brother's hand-me-downs, and let's face it, babies of that age are are often pretty andogynous anyway.

So anyway, I really don't care if people think she's a boy - it matters not a jot. If they ask 'his' name, I'll tell them (obviously girl's name), or say '"she's 8mo" or whatever. The past few weeks I've had people absolutely ranting at me, telling me I should make it clear she's a girl, I should stop putting her in boy's clothes (once she was wearing stripy yellow and brown leggings, once a blue and white spotted dress ), I'll scar her for life if I insist on dressing her as a boy, she's very ugly for a girl (silly cow, she's gorgeous), plus a whole load of other crap, and I'm fed up. I don't care if people think she's a boy, but I do find some of the comments quite hurtful.

Do I just shop with a load of nutters? Today, for example, she's wearing stripy multicoloured leggings with bows on and a bright purple t-shirt, and I still had some arse of a woman telling me off for dressing her in boy's clothes. So, WIBU to sellotape a bow to her head? Alternatively, if anyone could come up with a good response for me ("did you mean to be so rude" just escalates the ranting), that would be fab!

gaggiagirl Tue 09-Jul-13 16:31:37

Simply reply- Fuck off!
My DD is always dressed like a boy for want of a better phrase. people only knew for sure she was a girl due to the pink buggy.
I've never dressed her in pink or dresses she's always dressed appropriately for climbing trees though.
Your little girl sounds super to me.

rootypig Tue 09-Jul-13 16:31:57

Ha. I have 8mo DD, everyone thinks she's a boy. Certifiable MIL who is aghast at the -practical, comfortable, cute- boyish clothes I dress her in has quite seriously suggested gluing a bow to her head.

So yes YABU, Sellotape is for amateurs grin

DuchessofHaphazard Tue 09-Jul-13 16:39:57

Nice to hear I'm not the only one who dresses their girl as a "boy", and very glad I don't have a bonkers MIL telling me to glue a bow to her head. My MIL is lovely, and importantly, lives 6 hours away grin. A friend of mine did send me a link to this website after I had a RL rant. I think she was joking, and having seen the link on here I think she's probably a MNer (Come out, come out wherever you are Kate).

ZolaBuddleia Tue 09-Jul-13 16:40:44

Sellotape's never going to work in this hot weather, a staple gun is what you need. grin

Yes, you do shop with some very odd people.

CharCharGabor Tue 09-Jul-13 16:40:57

Wow that is bizarre, how rude! Everyone mistakes Dd3 for a boy, she has an average amount of hair and is usually dressed in bright or neutral colours. I have never had anyone berate me for the colours I dressed her in though shock no idea on a clever response I'm afraid, but walking off is always a good idea!

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Tue 09-Jul-13 16:53:15

If someone's calling your baby ugly then they're not worth you even responding.

If you must respond then borrow my personal favourite: Raise one eyebrow, adopt a sacrastic tone and say 'Well, aren't you a delight?'


My DS gets mistaken for a girl all of the time. He's 10 and has flatly refused a haircut since he encountered a really unpleasant hairdresser aged 2.


DuchessofHaphazard Tue 09-Jul-13 16:55:09

It is weird. I mean, if I got a baby's gender wrong, I'd apologise, not rant at the mother for dressing her in the wrong clothes. It's not even as if it's a particularly rough area or anything, and it's happened in a range of supermarkets (Tesco, Sainsburys, Waitrose - I have no shop loyalty at all smile ). I think I should just smile and ignore, but I have to say, the ugly comment really hurt, and saying "Did you mean to be so rude?" got the response, "It's not being rude if it's the truth" shock

She's not ugly - there's a pic on my profile to prove it grin.

tableandsofa Tue 09-Jul-13 16:55:19

My DD is 2 and she has never worn either pink or a dress, nobody except our English friends have ever commented. This pink for girls, blue for boys seems to be an English and American thing.

DarkWinter Tue 09-Jul-13 16:57:12

Oh you totes need the things! That website makes me laugh so much.

DuchessofHaphazard Tue 09-Jul-13 16:57:33

X-post MrsRajesh - I like that response, although my attempts at raising one eyebrow have so far been unsuccessful...

Titsalinabumsquash Tue 09-Jul-13 16:58:03

My DS gets mistaken for a girl apparently he's too pretty and has too much hair to be a boy grin

I had a conversation with a Tesco member of staff a few days ago...

"Oh you've got a pack of purple and pink pacifiers there, shall I swap them for the boys pack?"

"No thanks I have some of each colour in the trolley, they're fine."

"But... They're pink...for girls..."


ouryve Tue 09-Jul-13 17:00:09

I had a strange conversation with someone, yesterday, who was convinced I have a daughter.

Yes, my 7yo does have long hair. So does DH, but only ignorant carpet salesmen ever mistake him for a woman.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Tue 09-Jul-13 17:03:47

I like that response, although my attempts at raising one eyebrow have so far been unsuccessful...

It takes practice.


OTTMummA Tue 09-Jul-13 17:07:19

You know, I thought I had seen it all but fuck me I never knew that babies needed wigs, I have never had the inclination to google baby hair pieces in my life.
How on EARTH did this come about, really, there are people who buy this!?

MrsOakenshield Tue 09-Jul-13 17:07:57

that's very very bizarre, you are clearly shopping with loons. I actually much prefer girls' clothes to boys', mainly because most of the boys' clothes I see are so boring (navy blue/khaki/brown/grey and a bit of red seem to be about all that's on offer) and DD wears all the colours of the rainbow and looks very garish a lot of the time which I much prefer. Also, girls' clothes seem much better suited to hot weather - even boys' pants are thicker, which just seems odd! But that's beside the point. And how very rude to call your baby ugly, what a charmer.

StuntGirl Tue 09-Jul-13 17:08:23

To be fair duchess, most babies look like odd little aliens. The trick is to never say so to the parents. The woman in the shop had the social skills of a slug, clearly.

Titsalinabumsquash Tue 09-Jul-13 17:10:37

Someone posted a link to a website that sells bangs for bald any girls to stop them being mistaken for boys confused it was both hilarious and scary at the same time grin

DuchessofHaphazard Tue 09-Jul-13 17:11:03

On a more serious note, I really hate the whole pink=girl, boy=blue thing, I think the whole pinkification of girls' clothes, toys etc just creates a gender division from very early on that isn't really sane or helpful. I remember going on holiday with some family a couple of years back, and I painted my nails. DS wanted his nails painted too (he was 3 at the time), so I did, he loved them. Until one relative said "Oh, I don't like that. It'll make you a gay baby!" hmm. Bonkers, and up till then I thought he was a lovely man.

specialsubject Tue 09-Jul-13 17:13:31

random strangers come up to you and berate you about the colour of the baby's clothes? Where do you live, a lunatic asylum?


DuchessofHaphazard Tue 09-Jul-13 17:15:20

Fair enough, stuntgirl, most babies (including my own) do look like little aliens. But they mostly are very cute little aliens, unless in the newborn scrunchy stage (My response on seeing DS for the first time was 1. Look at what we made! and 2. OMG, what is wrong with his head, it's hideous!), and even if not, you'd never actually tell someone their baby was ugly...

MadameJosephine Tue 09-Jul-13 17:17:53

She is gorgeous

They are idiots


Beamae Tue 09-Jul-13 17:18:11

I have twin girls and often used to get "oh how lovely, one of each" from strangers. Once at the library a woman was so shocked when I corrected her and said "two girls actually", that she went in to argue with me about one of them being a boy. She was quite insistent but I remained unconvinced. grin

pamish Tue 09-Jul-13 17:18:24

If girls need baby wigs to calm insane people, then I insist that boy babies have stick-on beards.

ApuskiMcClusky Tue 09-Jul-13 17:20:09

Just had a look on your profile - and yes, she is gorgeous! <not broody, oh no....>

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