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AIBU not to pay Plumber who groped me

(143 Posts)
Sazzle41 Wed 03-Jul-13 10:52:38

Am still wobbly tbh. He was pointing out it wasnt drains but rats nest re. smell, i bent to look and he walked across the bathroom, grabbed my hips and ground against me. I immed. said get off and he said "sorry, its the proximity". Yes, because you walked across the bathroom to get to me. So wobbly i got rid asap and realised had no cash and he couldnt take card. He then said he would come back tonite for the cash. I then got mad and texted him not to come back as i was going to report him & def not paying him. Can I , should I report him? I felt horribly vulnerable and its been a vile 2months already without feeling invaded in my own flat. Or should i just not think about other vulnerable women having to put up with that/would police even care?? And what about the posh 'village magazine' he advertises in? (its that kind of village, why i picked it, safe, neighbourhood watch etc)..Sorry to be so wussy but shaken...

JaneFonda Wed 03-Jul-13 10:54:26

Yes, absolutely report him to the police.

RobotBananas Wed 03-Jul-13 10:54:38

Report him.

SauceForTheGander Wed 03-Jul-13 10:55:05

Tell the police.

GibberTheMonkey Wed 03-Jul-13 10:55:29

Of course, phone the police. Hope you're ok

CrowsLanding Wed 03-Jul-13 10:55:54

Hope You are ok op. Please report this perv before he does it to someone else x

Tiredmumno1 Wed 03-Jul-13 10:56:06

Absolutely report to the police, he can't go round doing that, it's disgusting.

itried Wed 03-Jul-13 10:56:07

Yes, report him to the police. I guess you may well not be the first.

AmazingBouncingFerret Wed 03-Jul-13 10:56:12

Report to the police right now.

nameuschangeus Wed 03-Jul-13 10:56:18

Couldn't just read and run on this one. I think he deserves to be reported to the police but realistically it probably depends if you feel up to doing that. I'm sure ill get flamed for that response but you do need to feel able and strong enough to tell them. Whatever happens you shouldn't pay him and I would make it very clear that he should not come to your home under any circumstances.

stottiecake Wed 03-Jul-13 10:56:53

oh my god!! you poor thing sad i woulf be phoning the police right now. have you anyone you can call- a friend or family?

HormonalHousewife Wed 03-Jul-13 10:56:56

Good grief how awful for you.

Definitely report him.

Has he actually done any work or did he just come around to give a quote ?

I wouldnt be giving him any of my hard earned cash.

FruitSaladIsNotPudding Wed 03-Jul-13 10:57:44

Definitely report. He almost certainly has form for this. Yuck.

breatheslowly Wed 03-Jul-13 10:58:00

Report him. He should be too embarrassed to ask for payment.

eurozammo Wed 03-Jul-13 10:58:57

Tell the police. He will try it with others. Awful.

RaisingChaotic Wed 03-Jul-13 10:59:06

Report him.

cozietoesie Wed 03-Jul-13 10:59:30

He sounds so confident that I'd have to guess that he'd done something like this before and got away with it. Poor other women.

Report him directly.

boschy Wed 03-Jul-13 10:59:47

god you poor thing, no wonder you are shaken up. definitely report him to police.

Tiredmumno1 Wed 03-Jul-13 10:59:57

Also if he does come to your door, just ignore and do not answer it, and hopefully if you do report it, then the police will be aware. So you can call them if he turns up. thanks

Sazzle41 Wed 03-Jul-13 11:02:30

Thanks everyone. I wasnt sure if the police would want to know but i keep thinking what about another woman who might freeze with shock & not say get off.. and then... oh god what an absolute pig of a man. He didnt even care, kept smiling horrible creepy smile. I felt unclean after he had gone, had to change clothes etc. Just eugh....

LEMisdisappointed Wed 03-Jul-13 11:03:05

Definately call the police and make a complaint - that is a sexual assault BASTARD

MrsHoarder Wed 03-Jul-13 11:03:32

I'd report him, and lock the doors tonight.

But I wouldn't avoid paying remotely (posted check if he sends an invoice for example) if the police are taking it seriously, because I wouldn't want him to get away with it by claiming you are reporting to avoid paying.

But most importantly of all, look after yourself.

AmazingBouncingFerret Wed 03-Jul-13 11:07:54

OP the police will most definitely want to know about this. They won't think it's trivial in the slightest.

I hope you're ok?

Sazzle41 Wed 03-Jul-13 11:08:09

He just pointed out it smelt like rats and took bath panel off then left Hormonal Housewife. All the while being horribly calm n creepy - didnt even seem bothered that i was curt/off: just grinning like it was something he thought really funny and staring unblinking... so creepy.

Latara Wed 03-Jul-13 11:09:42

Call 101 for advice. Calling 101 is ok, I've had to call 101 and the police on there were very nice, it's not as scary as calling 999 for example.

It is hard not to feel vulnerable when you live alone and to not feel threatened by a man like this; I know because I had similar problems with a neighbour last year. I had poor MH so it made me very paranoid.

It's easy for people to say 'report' but in reality reporting isn't that easy.
I think you should though because it's a clear cut case of sexual assault.
Even if you don't wish to press charges the police should at least be made aware of him; other women may have had the same experience.

Whatever you do don't pay him or have any further contact.
Log any calls you get from him as it could be harassment.

Later on make the village magazine aware that he has behaved badly but you don't need to go into detail if you don't wish to; just try to ensure he can't advertise in there.

I hope you realise that this is unusual and you've been unlucky; I've had lots of workmen in my home and they've never behaved this way. Sometimes I feel vulnerable but my attitude is that I pay a lot of Council Tax therefore I have the right to feel safe in my own area!

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