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To make DS pack his own clothes for a weekend away?

(26 Posts)
TooTiredToBeCreative Tue 25-Jun-13 18:14:05

DS is 10, with a recent attitude adjustment I thought I wouldn't have to face until at least 14. I wash & iron his clothes and expect him to put them away.

Recently he either doesn't put them away, leaving them on floor so that half of them end up being put back in the wash before they are even worn, the rest get shoved into drawers and look worse than they did before I ironed them. I don't know why but a neat pile of folded clothes becomes a crumpled mass as soon as he gets his hands on them.

I emptied his drawers, refolded everything and asked him to put clothes away nicely, he threw the clothes all over the room before shoving them back into the drawer, we repeated this I have finally snapped & told him I will no longer be ironing his clothes, I will wash & dry, no more. We are going camping this wkend & I have told him he is responsible for packing his own clothes and anything forgotten is down to him & he must face the consequences.

So AIBU? Is this too much to expect of a 10 yo?
excuses from him- he doesn't have much storage space so clothes are squeezed in making it difficult to keep neat
Excuses from me- I am 8 1/2 months pregnant with dc 4, permanently exhausted and sick of being everyone's dogsbody... Be gentle!

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Jun-13 18:18:21

I've got a 10yr old DS and when I hand him the clothes to put away, I make sure he does exactly that.

If he doesn't, I punish him.

Packing his clothes isn't too much to expect of him, but I'd help him make a list as he probably won't know what to take.

durbanmummy Tue 25-Jun-13 18:21:47

I dont think it it too much to ask him to pack them - but maybe make him a list.
My DS1 (8) is going on cub camp this weekend and they have been told they have to pack their own bags - so they know where everything is. I have done him a list and made sure everything he needs is in his room.

As for attitude and throwing things all over the place - I think you have done the right thing in telling him you wont iron his clothes any longer - but maybe add in an incentive for keeping things tidy and respecting his things? Pocket money works wonders for my DS, or TV time etc - whatever works for your DS!!

Good luck! Especially camping at 8 1/2 months pregnant!!! Go you!!

TooTiredToBeCreative Tue 25-Jun-13 18:21:58

I tend to iron in the day and leave the DCs clothes on their beds to put away when they get home so don't tend to supervise them doing it, the 8 yo manages fine! Think I am angry with the 10yo attitude towards me in general and its all coming out through the laundry!

TooTiredToBeCreative Tue 25-Jun-13 18:24:06

Thanks durbanmummy, another vote for the list so will do that. I can't bear the thought of him in I ironed clothes but I have to follow through on that!

Wolfiefan Tue 25-Jun-13 18:24:06

My DS (10). Recently went away for a week. I got a bag and told him to give me x pairs of pants, x socks, x tops and x trousers. He got them for me and I put them in the bag. Didn't even have to enter the pit of smelly boydom! Result!

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Jun-13 18:27:16

By the way, I doubt he'll care whether his clothes are ironed or not.

I think the issue here is the disobedience and the lack of thought towards you, for the effort you went to IYSWIM?

So whilst I don't blame you for not ironing them, you DS hasn't really learnt anything, has he?

TooTiredToBeCreative Tue 25-Jun-13 18:35:01

You are right worra, it's me that the crumpled clothes will bother! I am just so tired and he is so rude & ungrateful. Like an idiot I have just paid for two school trips for him, totalling over £300. He doesn't seem to realise how lucky he is and I guess that is my (and DHs!) fault.

meboo Tue 25-Jun-13 18:38:10

I agree with the others that say make him a list of how many of each thing he needs and then let him get on with it.

thebody Tue 25-Jun-13 18:43:24

He sounds completely normal though if that's any comfort.

steppemum Tue 25-Jun-13 18:45:13

you have my ds
clean clothes go into his room in a pile, what happens next i don't know but they never actually make it to a drawer.

I don't however iron anything, so that isn't a problem. Also, if he goes out all crumpled because he has screwed them up, then he looks bad, not me so I refuse to be worried about it.

For packing, ds does do his own, but we do go away quite often. I always check with him, have you got x and y and z number of pants etc.

WorraLiberty Tue 25-Jun-13 18:47:37

One of my DS's had a shirt and on the actual care instructions it said "40 degree wash, cool iron, crumple and throw on bedroom floor" grin

Now that was obviously designed by a frustrated parent!

valiumredhead Tue 25-Jun-13 18:51:01

Agree with worra.

Ten year old regress ime, you need to stand over them and give them orders then check they've actually done what you've asked. They're heads are all over the place at this age. My ds had been putting his dirty clothes in the laundry basket since he was 18 months, at 11 out was suddenly like I'd asked him to do something he'd never heard of.

Personally I wouldn't tie yourself up in knots about getting him to pack unless you write him a list a BUT of he doesn't put clothes away nicely then I would punish him by taking away screen time, or whatever.

valiumredhead Tue 25-Jun-13 18:51:38

Their-stupid phone

valiumredhead Tue 25-Jun-13 18:52:04

Out not outblush

valiumredhead Tue 25-Jun-13 18:52:39



TimeofChange Tue 25-Jun-13 18:55:56

Don't iron - it is pointless.

TooTiredToBeCreative Tue 25-Jun-13 18:58:12

Lol thank you all for the wise words! Timeofchange, I have to iron, it's a compulsion, can't stand creased clothes!

cece Tue 25-Jun-13 18:58:22

My DD has been packing her bag for holidays and weekends away since she was 9 or 10. She is actually pretty good at packing and now aged 12 I barely glance at what she is packing.

DS1 though has no interest in it and would be terrible at it. He is 9 and his clothes are also all over his bedroom floor. I can't tell you how many times I have shown him how to get 1 item out of the drawer without pulling the whole lot out. I have now hung the vast majority of his clothes on hangers in the wardrobe - this is a bit better but still not perfect.

TooTiredToBeCreative Tue 25-Jun-13 19:10:41

Glad to know I am not alone! Unfortunately hanging in wardrobe is not an option as there is no space in his room for one. Thank you all though, some helpful suggestions and advice.

oh god... laundry wars. been there and got the bloody crumpled t shirt. Like valium my ds's had been tidy and organised and putting dirty stuff in the laundry basket since very young then one day it all became too much for the little precious loves and bedroom floors became much more convenient, i ranted, I raved, I threw stuff back in through the doors of their pits, I resorted to taking all their dirty stuff and sticking in a bin bag and refusing to do laundry... nothing worked. I now avert my eyes from the pigstyes of mess in their rooms,chuck back clean stuff that was never put away for them to deal with, wash only what is in the basket, and have delegated ironing to DH who leaves a pile outside their rooms when its done as he too can no longer bear the rage that comes across him when he enters the hallowed ground of their filthy rooms. if its stepped over more that twice then I open door a fraction, avert my eyes and push the pile in. DS1 will <shock horror> iron an item he wants if its not done but ds2 happy to be a mess.

to actually answer your question by the way, yes let him pack, get him to help you make a list ie: ask him what he thinks he will need, show him how the washer works and give him a bag and the list you have drawn up. DS1 packed for a weeks hol and forgot his boxers <smirk> realised going commando was not a great option ha.

BackforGood Tue 25-Jun-13 19:21:18

2 separate things, IMO.
Absolutely don't iron for anyone who is hanging their clothes on the floor.

Re packing, yes, a 10 yr old can (mine did) but they need some guidance to begin with, so if you've packed for him previously, then you will, at least need to give him a list to follow. Mine packed with me from their first cub camps (and family holidays before that) so were used to thinking about what they need, and it gradually swapped from me saying "get some pants / socks / jumpers" to "so, what do you need then?". I think it's a bit much for a 10 yr old to know what they need if you've not let them do it with you before.

imademarion Tue 25-Jun-13 19:25:01

I ask every single friend of my DS11 who crosses my threshold 'do you put your washing away when you're asked and does your mum get shouty about it?'

'no' and 'yes'

Every single time.

My son pointed out to me that, for him, cricked is more important than ironing. He also said 'no one ever DIED of crumples.'

I try to bear this in mind. It helps my blood pressure.

imademarion Tue 25-Jun-13 19:28:20

Cricket. Ahem.

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