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To let DS feed himself from the highchair tray?

(311 Posts)
mistressploppy Sat 23-Mar-13 17:26:22

Long, sorry...

Birthday lunch for a family friend at a country pub. 8 adults, DS1 (3yo) and DS2 (13mo)

We eat out a lot with the DC so they behave pretty well; no shouting, chucking food etc. DS1 eats like a mini-adult, uses cutlery, no probs. DS2 feeds himself nicely and has done for months (BLW) but as his pasta has arrived as an enormous adult-sized portion on a plate, I pick up a dollop or two and put them on the tray of his highchair. He scoffs away. The babywipes are poised next to him.

Waiter(asst.manager/supervisor?) hovers; 'is there something wrong with the plate?'
Me; confused 'sorry?'
Waiter; 'IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE PLATE?' (crossly, with sarcasm)
Me; <stammers> um, oh, was a bit hot...he tends to push the plate around...might get broken...I WILL clean the tray myself and wipe up any mess when he's finished...
Waiter;'oh, it's just I couldn't believe it when I saw you just dumping it on the tray like that'
Me; shock
DH; Er, hang on a minute mate, that's how he eats? No harm done! Do you have children?!'
Waiter; 'no, but I was one once, and my mother would never have just put food in front of me like that...she'd have fed me properly'

At this point my bottom lip went blush and DH asked him if he'd meant to be so rude(!). He then said; 'well, half of your party were 30mins late for the booking, and then she (gestures) dumps food straight on the table....'

I got a bit upset. Soothing noises ensued from all our party. After about 20mins he returns

Waiter; 'um, right, about earlier; I'm sorry you were upset but... '
Me; (cutting in) 'are you apologising?'
Waiter; 'no, thank you for cleaning up, but I stand by what I sai..'
Me; (nicely) 'I don't want to hear it, thanks!'
Waiter; (loudly, while walking off with his hands raised in despair) 'Ok, fine, you just carry on doing that in every restaurant you go to and see what happens...'

shock and grin


Tee2072 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:27:48


He's a tosser. And may need a chat with management about customer service.

Just wait until he has kids!

SkiBunnnnny Sat 23-Mar-13 17:28:47

My concern would be how clean do you think the high hair tray in a restaurant is?

bangwhizz Sat 23-Mar-13 17:28:50

YABU - god knows what could have been on the tray.It's probably casually wiped with a minging old cloth, he was concened for your baby?

libertyflip Sat 23-Mar-13 17:29:28

What a muppet!

WorriedMummy73 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:30:05

Oh my God, were you waited on by Basil fucking Fawlty? Unbelievably rude and I would be complaining to the management about this. And his final remark as he walked away...

OP, you were in no way in the wrong here (although I'm sure that some people will be along to tell you that, yes, you were) and I can't believe you were treated like this.

So no, YWNBU, in the slightest.

BrianButterfield Sat 23-Mar-13 17:30:14

We've done this in tonnes of places. Some well meaning waiters/waitresses have brought small plates but as DS can be a thrower I prefer him not to use 'proper' plates right now. Nobody has ever said anything and we always wipe the tray down afterwards.

janey68 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:30:43

How rude of him.
I would have asked for a plate personally, because it's preferable to eating off a high chair tray when you don't know whether it's been cleaned properly, or indeed whether it's got cleaning spray on it. But the waiter was rude to react like that.

PamBeesly Sat 23-Mar-13 17:31:11

He is a trollop mistressploppy, how the ignorant walk amongst us, your 13mo should teach him some manners

MortifiedAdams Sat 23-Mar-13 17:31:17

YANBU thats how dd feeds too and ive never ever had anyone say anything. Also, regardless of whether what you were doing was right or.not the waiter was well out of order.

In hindsight I would have asked if he could provide a plastic plate seeing as he was so insistant on plates being used. Crockery ones being a smash risk with a toddler of course.

Where was this?

mistressploppy Sat 23-Mar-13 17:31:35

I did clean the tray first

ilovepowerhoop Sat 23-Mar-13 17:31:59

you could have used a side plate - did you clean the tray before you put food on it? You dont know what nasties could be lurking there if it doesnt get cleaned properly. Maybe he was just miffed because you were late to begin with.

ilovepowerhoop Sat 23-Mar-13 17:32:49

total x-post

grannyagedmummy Sat 23-Mar-13 17:32:50

I'd have asked what customer service training he had as really its non of his business? He is there to serve you food not to tell you or family how to eat it.

I feed my 13mnth DS off the tray. He isn't interested in cutlery

Xavielli Sat 23-Mar-13 17:33:32

YANBU and I would complain in writing.

QueenFee Sat 23-Mar-13 17:34:32

If I gave my little one a bowl it would all end up on the floor. I would have complained to the manager as he is supposed to serve you not express his opinion on your parenting methods. If he had said I think you should do your daughters hair differently you wouldn't accept it!
It's none of his business and as far as I can see a perfectly normal thing to do. I wonder if he really remembers being that age :/

ArtVandelay Sat 23-Mar-13 17:35:21

Utter dickhead, I hope you didnt leave a tip.

I'm a bit germ phobic though and shudder at restaurant high chairs. I'm really not having a dig but could you take a little IKEA plastic plate with you next time? And a plastic bag to take it home in.

He was a disgrace to the hospitality industry though.

ZillionChocolate Sat 23-Mar-13 17:36:19

Hwbu, I wouldn't go back but I might to his manager to let them know why. The non apology afterwards was adding insult to injury.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs Sat 23-Mar-13 17:37:14

Yanbu I often do that, I don't know why so many places insist on serving a child's serving on a hot plate.

I just wipe the tray first, most if it ends up on the tray when they are that age anyway!

BrianButterfield Sat 23-Mar-13 17:37:20

Why should op faff about with plates because other people are germ-phobic? My DS would happily chomp on fake coal from the fire and very old food found in every crevice of the floor, I'm not fussed about a slighty-grubby highchair.

VerySmallSqueak Sat 23-Mar-13 17:37:42

I'd be bloody furious.
And the waiter and the manager would know I was too.


5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs Sat 23-Mar-13 17:37:48

And do complain he was rude!

MomaP Sat 23-Mar-13 17:38:04

Honestly, I am more shocked that you hadn't wrote on the end that you had made a complaint. I was shock all throughout reading the OP.

How absolutely mortified I'd of been to be rudely questioned about how my children ate his food. Phone the restaurant and make a complaint. There is no reason the waiter should get away with that.

MrsBertMacklin Sat 23-Mar-13 17:39:12

YANBU, lots of children feed from the chair tray, you explained that you'd be cleaning up after DS2 and who on earth does the waiter think he is to pass judgment!

You did well not to throw pasta at him.

MajaBiene Sat 23-Mar-13 17:40:01

I wouldn't have risked giving a baby a proper plate! So long as the high chair tray is clean then you did the sensible thing.

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