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to think it's inappropriate for DD to share a bed/room with a boy twice her age?

(288 Posts)
princessj29 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:25:30

DD is only just 5. She sees her father every other weekend. He has a girlfriend who has a ten year old brother who often sleeps over when DD is there. Her father bought a bunk bed for her room with a double bed on the bottom, which she says they usually share. There is another spare room in the house so no need for them to share rooms let alone beds IMO. She spoke about his 'bits pointing up' when he woke last week and I feel very uncomfortable about them sharing a bed/room. AIBU?

TeamEdward Wed 20-Mar-13 22:27:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania Wed 20-Mar-13 22:27:46

Yanbu at all. I would have a serious talk with your ex. If he refuses to change the sleeping arrangement I would not te dd go there wtf is he playing at. Teir is another safe room for godske

hwjm1945 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:28:19

No.this is a non related young boy who may be onset of puberty at any time.for his protection as well as your daughters they should be in separate rooms.

pigletmania Wed 20-Mar-13 22:28:21

Meant spare

Edgarallen Wed 20-Mar-13 22:28:34


pigletmania Wed 20-Mar-13 22:30:06

Even if related t is nt appropriate as there s another spare room

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 20-Mar-13 22:30:43

YANBU. Inappropriate.

mum382013 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:30:53

i would say it was a cp issue so yanbu

princessj29 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:31:50

I've told him I'm not happy before, he insists that as he knows the boy and I don't it's up to him to judge.

b4bunnies Wed 20-Mar-13 22:32:53

it is abusive or potentially abusive so put a stop to it.

steppemum Wed 20-Mar-13 22:35:49

doesn't matter if he knows the boy or not. 10 yo boy sharing bed with 5 year old girl isn't appropriate.

it isn't fair on the boy either.

ThisIsMummyPig Wed 20-Mar-13 22:36:33

That's badly wrong.

pigletmania Wed 20-Mar-13 22:36:37

It is I would nt allow her to stay there if it continues t is a potential child protection issue. Teir is no need for your dd to share a bed with this boy. Why te hell are they sharing when there is a spare room hmm

PomBearWithAnOFRS Wed 20-Mar-13 22:37:14

It makes no difference whether he knows the boy or not - it's not even necessarily that this child would do anything to your daughter out of malice or "abusiveness" - it's that something could happen without either of them understanding or knowing just what they were doing or why they shouldn't be, and the consequences could rip your family and your XHs girlfriends's family apart.
Surely he can see this? It's not just your DDs protection, it's the boy's too - they are both children who need to be looked out for and kept safe in every way. Obviously your concern is for your DD, but I am amazed the girlfriend is happy with such an arrangement for her 10 yr old brother confused -surely the potential for damage/disaster is obvious?

pigletmania Wed 20-Mar-13 22:38:01

This sounds a bit off really what the hellis your ex paying at. Why would a boy of that age want to share a bed with a little girl

TheChaoGoesMu Wed 20-Mar-13 22:38:31

Absolutely not. How did she see his bits anyway? It would be separate rooms or not going at all if it was me. For the protection of both of them.

pigletmania Wed 20-Mar-13 22:39:02

I agree with pombear, put it better than I did

princessj29 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:39:56

What about bedroom? AIBU to say they should sleep in separate rooms altogether? Although they'd still watch films in bed together which also worries me as ex lets her watch the boys choice of film - usually transformers - which is a bit sexy ( not to mention scary!)

pigletmania Wed 20-Mar-13 22:41:29

Yes separate bedrooms. I would be having serious wrds to ex about what films she's watching

pigletmania Wed 20-Mar-13 22:41:59

There is a spare bedroom so she r he should go there

princessj29 Wed 20-Mar-13 22:43:24

Bits were visible through PJ's she said. Feel sorry for boy too as she said he covered his eyes when she randomly dropped her trousers to go for a wee and that he locks himself in the bathroom to get dressed so he's obviously conscious of things.

GaryBarlowsPants Wed 20-Mar-13 22:44:10

YANBU - totally agree with Pombear, and would definitely insist on separate rooms, or DD would be picked up before bedtime.

AThingInYourLife Wed 20-Mar-13 22:44:30

Separate bedrooms. And separate films too.

Are they using the 10 year old to babysit your daughter while they shag?

This is seriously weird.

pigletmania Wed 20-Mar-13 22:45:14

No no no the adults should not ut these Chidren in that situation, totally wrong

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