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AIBU to think that if a midday assistant at school feels it necessary to shout at my 6 yr old, I should have been informed?

(252 Posts)
laluna Fri 15-Mar-13 15:54:38

DS came out of class crying saying he had been yelled at by the MDA and he didn't understand why.

He explained to me that there had been a bit if a falling out in his group of friends and she shouted at them.

If my child does something wrong, I am not precious about him and the situation should be death with accordingly by the person in charge. No issue with that. But AIBU to think that yelling is not really appropriate and if the situation is really that bad, I should be involved?? Am a bit cross and have asked the school to clarify the position.

UnChartered Fri 15-Mar-13 15:57:21

i'd save judgement until i'd found out exactly what happened tbh

Nanny0gg Fri 15-Mar-13 15:57:58


AuntieStella Fri 15-Mar-13 15:58:46

Asking for clarification is a good way ahead.

Whether the action was indeed shouting (and whether the MDA was nearby or simply had to raise her voice so she could be heard across playground noise), and also exactly what was going on in the group (did the falling out get physical?) are relevant.

ballinacup Fri 15-Mar-13 15:58:59

YABU. She yelled at him, she didn't hit him with a large stick.

Also, I'd be wary of taking the word of a, presumably, primary school aged child at face value.

ilovepowerhoop Fri 15-Mar-13 15:59:40

sounds like she shouted at the group rather than him individually. Maybe she needed to shout to be heard.

Trifle Fri 15-Mar-13 15:59:51

You are being precious, incredibly so.

TheNebulousBoojum Fri 15-Mar-13 16:00:14

Did she yell? Did she raise her voice in a firm and unambiguous manner?
Or did she do nothing like that, but he just doesn't like being in trouble and misinterpreted her?
He's 6. You need more information than that which he can give you.

kim147 Fri 15-Mar-13 16:00:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheNebulousBoojum Fri 15-Mar-13 16:00:49

Shouting/projecting. There is a difference.

nethunsreject Fri 15-Mar-13 16:01:29

Oh dear lord, really?

Floralnomad Fri 15-Mar-13 16:01:29

To answer the actual question : no I don't think you should be informed if a midday supervisor shouts at your child . Do you feel the need to be told if a teacher shouts at him?

GloriaPritchett Fri 15-Mar-13 16:01:32

Yes, they should have immediately phoned, emailed and sent out a red alert to track you down.

Stop being dramatic!

WorraLiberty Fri 15-Mar-13 16:01:44

It's obviously not important enough to mention to you

It was dealt with by the MDA, so job done.

Sometimes kids need yelling at and it can be quite effective.

Buzzardbird Fri 15-Mar-13 16:02:03

I think "death" might be a little extreme? grin

Wouldn't be too sure she wasn't just making herself heard over the racket in the playground tbh.

laluna Fri 15-Mar-13 16:02:20

His sister aged 11 and her friend of the same age said she shouted at him. That is why I sort to gain further info.

Booyhoo Fri 15-Mar-13 16:03:04

you (and we if you want a verdict from us) need more info.

AmberLeaf Fri 15-Mar-13 16:03:19

Check facts about what happened first, as it was a large group, there may have been a lot of noise, she may have had to raise her voice to be heard.

Booyhoo Fri 15-Mar-13 16:04:27


and it is 'sought'

Hopasholic Fri 15-Mar-13 16:04:28

YABU. It's highly likely that the only way the MDA could make herself heard in a playground was to yell. A quiet word is not much use is it? We all feel protective of our kids but she has a job to do and yours isn't the only DC in the playground.

WorraLiberty Fri 15-Mar-13 16:04:32

Your 6yr old is old enough to explain his version of events to you.

Why don't you ask him exactly what happened?

Clawdy Fri 15-Mar-13 16:05:17

Sounds like a lot of fuss over nothing. Kids often misbehave at lunch time and MDAs often tell 'em off,sometimes loudly. Part of school life.

Floggingmolly Fri 15-Mar-13 16:05:57

I think you've "sort" to gain further info in the wrong place. None of us were there.

TheNebulousBoojum Fri 15-Mar-13 16:06:50

Go and ask the class teacher to find out exactly what happened.

CloudsAndTrees Fri 15-Mar-13 16:07:18


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