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Aibu to be upset by this?

(102 Posts)
PinkPanties Thu 07-Feb-13 21:58:21

I was out with my dh today, we were on our way to the shopping precinct, when i broached a conversation about holidays, and that "i would like to experience the world", he took this as a meaning to talk about threesomesshock, when i said don't be silly, he got really moody about the fact that i didn't mean sexual experience. Kept nagging that "experiencing the world" means experiences sexuallyhmm. I told him there will be no threesome ever, as i couldn't handle seeing him have sex with another woman. He told me i'm "closed off" sexuallyshockhmm, all because of this conversation!

I'm by no means "closed off" at all, i have even had an experience with another woman in my late teens and have tried many things with my dh, such as bondage, foods, all fresco sex, all sorts really so i'm quite pissed of he has said this to me and took my words as an excuse to bring up having a threesome (this isn't the first time he has bought it upconfused)

I said if he wants a threesome with me & a woman then the only way i would agree to it would be for it to be a foursome with a man for my needs too, i said this to shock him. Well it did he got very angry and said i'm being unfair & selfishhmm

Anyway we get to the precinct and enter a clothing store, in here he starts ranting on about me being "closed off" again, and that i don't partake in watching porn with himshock, i don't want to it makes me envious that he looks at the glamorous women on it and it isn't for me! Then he went on about how i hardly let him relieve himself on my breastsshock
Bare in mind this was in a store full of people, i felt very embarrased, especially as i was pushing my 2yo dd in her pram too!

Not only did he make me feel like shit by doing all that, he then pointed out some high heeled sneakers and said i should buy them as i'd look good in them. When i said they are not my thing, he started ranting how i don't wear nice shoes.

Got home more ranting about how he wants to use our flat screen tv to play xbox, although he has his own tv in the corner. I said yes after my soaps, and he said i control the tv shock

All this shit for a man who was a virgin when i met him, still is to my knowledge, who hasn't bathed for 4 days, shaved and wears trackie bottoms & hoodies 24/7.

So pissed off, its unbelievable, and to top it off when i told him how i feel he just shrugged his shoulders and said "i aint done nuthin"
Yesterday i wanted to treat myself so we went out, i gave him £30 towards a new xbox game and said i'd be getting something nice with my cash.
He asked to borrow another £30 off me so i said yes thinking he was going to give it back.
He didn't he bought me sexy underwear with the whole lot, which left me with no money.
So he got games and got a sexy woman dressed upconfused

Sorry that was long!
Aibu to be upset, its all about him?

MisselthwaiteManor Thu 07-Feb-13 22:03:05

Why are you with him?

Uppermid Thu 07-Feb-13 22:03:23

If this is for real, what exactly do you get out of this relationship?

Portofino Thu 07-Feb-13 22:05:41


usualsuspect Thu 07-Feb-13 22:07:41


amothersplaceisinthewrong Thu 07-Feb-13 22:07:50


LaurieFairyCake Thu 07-Feb-13 22:08:07

Is he really, really young?

He sounds crap. I literally have no idea why you're with this man child unless he can breathe through his ears and has a giant dick and earns 200k.

PinkPanties Thu 07-Feb-13 22:08:40

Unfortunetly this is for realsad
We have been together nearly 9years now.
I sometimes do wonder why i'm with him, i love him of course but i just feel hurt by what he says to me with no care in the world.

We nearly split up a few days ago, over him being a lazy twunt, so he knows he is on a sticky wicket.
Well 3 days in he's getting lazier again aswell as talking to me like shit.

If i chuck him out, he has no where to go but i'm beginning not to care tbh.
His parents are toxic, thats another issue that doesn't help..i despair i dosad

NotAnotherPackedLunch Thu 07-Feb-13 22:09:26

Oh dear...

HollyBerryBush Thu 07-Feb-13 22:09:36

YABU to be with someone who plays xbox games.

Thanks for all that information, we really needed every tiny bit of that to make our judgements, it was the all fresco that inspired my answer ..... LTB.

catladycourtney1 Thu 07-Feb-13 22:11:22

Wait, your DH is still a virgin?

Seriously, what do you get out of this relationship? Obviously you wrote this when you weren't in the best of moods with him and I don't know either of you, but from this post it seems like all he does is play xbox and nag you for not behaving like a porn star!

Greensleeves Thu 07-Feb-13 22:11:37

pmsl Laurie

for me he would have to turn into a pizza at midnight too

OP - for the love of god get shot of him. Cocklodger.

PenelopePisstop Thu 07-Feb-13 22:12:06

Sounds like the type of conversations I have with my students.

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 07-Feb-13 22:12:09


Just a quick note to say thanks for the reports; we don't have any reason to think the OP isn't who and what she says she is. Please remember our rules about troll-hunting and personal attacks.


Foggles Thu 07-Feb-13 22:12:35

How did his brain go from holidays to threesomes? confused

Personally, I would be encouraging him to find someone else and LTB

givemeaclue Thu 07-Feb-13 22:13:35

Good grief, you had a child with this "man"?

ImNotDrunkIJustCantType Thu 07-Feb-13 22:14:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkPanties Thu 07-Feb-13 22:14:31

Yes he is still a virgin, and i didn't mean all fresco, i meant au fresco.

I just feel like crap, 9 years and 4dc together and it all boils down to him, him, him and i'm sick of it.

Despite being a virgin, he did have redeeming features, but they are all diminishingsad
All i get is moaning about what he wants and if i say no i get called selfish.

NeverQuiteSure Thu 07-Feb-13 22:14:32

He sounds lovely hmm

Can you picture him changing? Can you picture you putting up with this indefinitely?

frustratedworkingmum Thu 07-Feb-13 22:14:46


FeckOffCup Thu 07-Feb-13 22:15:05

He talked about coming on your tits in a shop in front of members of the public and your 2 year old toddler? Have you tried Jeremy Kyle, think it would be right up your street, maybe Graham the genius can transform him into an upstanding member of society hmm.

Booyhoo Thu 07-Feb-13 22:15:10

how is your DH still a version if you have been having sex with him?

Booyhoo Thu 07-Feb-13 22:15:42



TooExtraImmatureCheddar Thu 07-Feb-13 22:15:44

Why would he still be a virgin? I thought you had al fresco sex? And a DD?

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