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To be upset at being called a selfish cunt at a concert?

(271 Posts)
TheDarkSideOfTheSpoon Sun 27-Jan-13 10:17:44

Just got back from a concert in town and although it was fantastic it was spoiled for us a bit. I'm sure IANBU, but perhaps need some perspective.

Friend and I had seats at the end of a row, in the back corner of the arena so looking diagonally towards the stage, next to us was a woman perhaps in her late 70s/early 80s which was a bit surprising, we'd expected more to be with our own age group but other than being mildly surprised we didn't give it a second thought.

Half way through the concert, friend and I are happily stood up dancing and cheering like the majority of people there and a woman leans over from a few seats above & behind us and yells "you do know you two are the only ones stood up in this section don't you, why don't you sit down so other people can see" in a very aggressive tone. We said we're sorry but this is a music concert, strange as it is that this particular section seems to be filled with boring old farts people not wanting to dance actually 95% of the arena are on their feet. She yelled again that this poor woman next to us couldn't see and we ended up having a row where we explained our reasons for standing and she called us various names and eventually left. We felt a bit uneasy then but not sure what to do, our enjoyment would be spoiled by having to stop dancing/waving/cheering but of course not wanting the lady next to us to have her night spoiled either. We offered her our aisle seat to sit in so she would be in front of us and our standing wouldn't get in her way but she turned it down so we tried to get over the row and enjoy ourselves.

Ten minutes later the other woman comes back, on her way to the toilet passed behind us and yelled "I hope you're having a good time you selfish pair of cunts!" before stomping off. We were shock and tbh a bit upset. Didn't retaliate, so hopefully retained the mythical moral high ground but still it took away from an otherwise good night.

What would you have done? We paid the same as everyone else, we went there looking forward to dancing and jumping about as is usual at concerts, almost everyone else was, if the older lady couldn't stand then there were disabled seats available but she had booked a standard seat. We did offer her ours but she turned it down and from what we could see everyone else could have stood up if they chose. We weren't allowed to move and stand anywhere else. AIBU?

CloudsAndTrees Sun 27-Jan-13 10:21:30

I don't think YABU. I don't go to concerts to just sit there, you may as well get the video of that's all you want to do. Concerts are for dancing it IMO.

Branleuse Sun 27-Jan-13 10:23:25

YABU, if you wanted to stand and dance, get standing tickets, otherwise everyone behind you cant see.

I can totally understand wanting to get up and dance and thats why i pretty much always get standing tickets, or if there was no standing tickets, id go in the aisle to dance or just dance in my seat.

You were being selfish cunts

simplesusan Sun 27-Jan-13 10:23:53

I think it is reasonable to stand at a music concert.
I am right in thinking it was a rock concert or similar?
I always stood in my youth at these events.
Different if you were at say a classical music concert, but as you said most of the audience were standing around the arena then no I don't think you were b u.
Plus you did offer to swap seats.

drownangels Sun 27-Jan-13 10:24:29

What gig was it?

FrancesHouseman Sun 27-Jan-13 10:25:05

The only time I've been bollocked for standing and dancing was in the raised seating area at the MEN arena in Manchester, and the bollocking came from arena staff, not other concert goers.

Who was the act?!

HappyJustToBe Sun 27-Jan-13 10:26:32

Last concert I went to I ended up with seated tickets. Would have much preferred standing. It said on the tickets "please be aware people around you may stand". We did. Saying that I think I would have kept seated if other people were visibly affected.

coppertop Sun 27-Jan-13 10:26:35

So someone told you they couldn't see the concert when you were standing up, and you carried on as you were?

The name-calling was OTT but they were right to think you were selfish.

Letmeintroducemyself Sun 27-Jan-13 10:26:58

I saw Some teenagers thrown out of Wembley for dancing in aisles so that's not the answer

manicbmc Sun 27-Jan-13 10:27:12

They had as much right as you to be able to see the concert and, as you have pointed out, had paid the same amount as you.

Your standing might usually be the done thing but if it's stopping someone else enjoying themselves, it wouldn't have hurt to sit down. So yes, YABU and selfish.

Look at it from their point of view, they'd paid for these tickets and were looking forward to it as much as you. Not everyone who is disabled can get a disabled seat as there aren't many of them anyway.

JambalayaCodfishPie Sun 27-Jan-13 10:29:01

Was it X Factor? grin

Bunbaker Sun 27-Jan-13 10:30:33

"So someone told you they couldn't see the concert when you were standing up, and you carried on as you were? The name-calling was OTT but they were right to think you were selfish."

"They had as much right as you to be able to see the concert and, as you have pointed out, had paid the same amount as you. Your standing might usually be the done thing but if it's stopping someone else enjoying themselves, it wouldn't have hurt to sit down. So yes, YABU and selfish."

Yes, I agree. If you had wanted to stand you should have paid for standing tickets. You were being unbelievably selfish and thoughtless.

cocoachannel Sun 27-Jan-13 10:31:19

A lot of people wouldn't qualify for disabled seating, yet not be able to stand for too long.

Would love to know whose concert it was to make you 'expect to be with your own age group.' Last couple of arena concerts I've been to (Radiohead and Elbow) had the breadth of ages. DH and I had standing tickets for both, but if I'd paid £££ to take my Dad to either he would need to sit a lot due to a longterm injury and it would be beyond irritating to have the experience ruined by not being able to see.

Tee2072 Sun 27-Jan-13 10:32:02

"Apparently, ma'am, you have mistaken this for Chopin. It is not. I am going to continue to dance."

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sun 27-Jan-13 10:32:16

I'd have been shockat being spoken to by anyone with lanuage like that
My stock answer is "Do you eat with that foul mouth"?

You could've dazzled/burnt her with your lighter (because I'm sure you were at a Barry Manilow concert. You're being very evasive in that department) wink

Wishfulmakeupping Sun 27-Jan-13 10:34:19

Really intrigued now what concert does a potty mouthed OAP go to?

IceNoSlice Sun 27-Jan-13 10:34:25

Tricky one. Depends in part on who the act was?

I've been to concerts where all seated people stand up the minute the main act come on (Take That- why no tour this year?!) You getting seated tickets if you want to avoid standing for 4 hours before the main act come on. It would have BVU to moan about being able to see then.

However I've also been to concerts where no bugger was dancing (boo!) in which case you would totally BU to block people's view.

But still no need for so much aggression IMO.

Startail Sun 27-Jan-13 10:34:57

You were selfish!

Take your cue from those around you, they didn't want to stand for two hours so sit down.

If you want to dance go to a club, or buy standing tickets.

HyvaPaiva Sun 27-Jan-13 10:35:37

Isn't that the difference between standing and seated tickets though, OP? It's not fair to say, Clouds, that if you want to sit you may as well get the video. I'm disabled (I don't want to turn it into that kind of thread grin) and I'd love to get up and dance. I can't so I sit there, swaying and singing along. People dance in front of me, I can't see, and it's rubbish. Still, I don't blame them or swear, they're having fun. But it remains that I would've had a crap evening so I kind of wish they were down the front instead.

Chandon Sun 27-Jan-13 10:37:04

Depends a bit on what kind of concert it was.

If Cliff Richard, yabu!

threesocksmorgan Sun 27-Jan-13 10:37:07

when I went to see my fave band I was in seating....but stood. nio one complained(probably cos most people stood anyway) but if anyone had I would have sat down....

BookFairy Sun 27-Jan-13 10:37:09

Weird. Who was the act? Don't most people stand to have a dance and what not?

Where are the standing only areas in arenas? I thought it was seating only but in the floor seating areas everyone stands up so they can see.....

pictish Sun 27-Jan-13 10:37:14

Do we know if there standing tickets available yet? Perhaps the whole venue was seated?

If there were, then OP I am afraid you are being unreasonable. If not, then the woman was.

threesocksmorgan Sun 27-Jan-13 10:38:40

when I went, no way was I going in standing..... was a metal concert. mybe that was why the op was sitting

WhateverTrevor Sun 27-Jan-13 10:40:53

If everyone else in your bit was sitting down then yes you were being very selfish.
You standing up prevented the other person seeing, so you ruined her night.
Well done.

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