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To use dd's birthday gift cards on myself?

(303 Posts)
Lira Sat 26-Jan-13 20:58:36

DD (5) recently had a birthday and a giant party. She got a loads of presents from family (grandparents always spoil her rotten), and ended up with either presents/money/giftcards from her school friends that came to her party.

She doesn't need a single thing. She's got clothes for the next year, and a stack of vouchers from Christmas to get her new clothes and shoes when she eventually does need them. She doesn't need any new toys/books etc either.

My house is swimming in toys that haven't even been opened since her party 3 weeks ago.

My Hoover died today. So i was thinking of using 3 of the Argos vouchers she got (£30 worth) to help buy a new one. They expire by December anyway, and i can't see her needing anything from Argos before then.

I couldn't bring myself to touch her birthday money, however, as that can always be saved.

My friend reckons i should just 'borrow' the cards and pay dd the £30 back when i can.

But i honestly don't think she'll miss them and shouldn't feel obliged to 'owe' dd back in too much of a hurry.


DoingTheBestICan Sat 26-Jan-13 21:00:48

I wouldn't but its up to you really isn't it?

AgentZigzag Sat 26-Jan-13 21:01:36

Doesn't everyone 'borrow' money from their small children who don't know any better?

I'm planning on taking the total off the bill I'll present to them for their upkeep when they're 18 wink

HollyBerryBush Sat 26-Jan-13 21:02:11

I would use them if I was that hard up - but I dont know why you are discussing finances with a friend. This is the sort of 'do you know what she did' stuff that whizzes round the school yard.

Lira Sat 26-Jan-13 21:03:19

Thanks for the opinions.

Holly, she's a friend i've known for over 15 years and doesn't have children. So no chance of it getting back to the school yard.

ElectricMonk Sat 26-Jan-13 21:03:51

I normally wouldn't agree with this, but since she has been given such a lot and you did throw her a big (and therefore probably quite costly) party I don't think it's a problem as a one-off. I think I'd feel differently if you were spending the money on something that wasn't important for everybody's health, but vacuum cleaners are very important for keeping the air (and everybody's lungs) reasonably clear of dust.

thegreylady Sat 26-Jan-13 21:04:09

I would have just quietly done it-no need to mention it to anyone at all.

EverybodysSnowyEyed Sat 26-Jan-13 21:05:55

Use it. As you say, she won't notice. And she benefits from the floor being vacuumed!

If you feel guilty note it down and transfer her £30 when you have it.

We save for the kids but on the basis that it is family money if it comes to the crunch.

SassySask Sat 26-Jan-13 21:06:11

I definitely wouldn't do it. Someone bought her those vouchers to spend on herself, not to get you a hoover (regardless or not whether it's broken).

McPie Sat 26-Jan-13 21:06:23

I would go with your friends idea and replace it with cash when you can. She would only end up with more tat to clutter up your house and the cash can then be saved with what she received for her birthday.

Bananapickle Sat 26-Jan-13 21:06:51

If you are saving the rest of the birthday money you could put £30 into her savings and then use the vouchers to buy your Hoover. That way you're not cheating your daughter out of her presents and neither are the vouchers being wasted on toys she doesn't need.

BlahBlahBlahhh Sat 26-Jan-13 21:08:38

I have often used their gift cards but put cash back in their money banks. TBH, if you don't repay, just think of all the swimming lessons, clubs, days out where they get treats etc ( and if she is only 5, there will be a lot of things in the future you will have to pay out for)... You will end up paying her back the £30 over the next few years with 30000% interest grin

Lira Sat 26-Jan-13 21:09:37

Yes, thanks.

I was thinking that way too. Better me using the vouchers on something i genuinely need as opposed to rushing to spend them on toys (which she doesn't need/want) before they expire.

I'll of course replace them with cash for dd's piggy bank, but i don't think i should feel under any pressure to do so urgently as dd won't even notice.

andtheycalleditbunnylove Sat 26-Jan-13 21:29:37


SoldeInvierno Sat 26-Jan-13 21:43:41

I always buy M&S, Argos and other cards back from DS, when he gets them for birthdays. He generally doesn't need anything from those shops, so I spend them, and later on, when he really wants something, I give him the money for it. I think it better than feeling force to buy some not-needed toys from Argos just because you have a card.

So, I think you are doing the right thing.

CarpeJugulum Sun 27-Jan-13 07:41:40

I have a £100 Debenhams gift card that was for DS that I am using, but I have put the money into his bank account to cover it, so he won't lose out!

DS covers all his clothes in a mixture of food, mess, paint (at nursery) and general "toddlerness". He's normally in cheap kids stuff from Asda, Sainsburys or similar - and I don't see the point in buying him expensive clothing from Debenhams; and the generous giver won't know the difference as we see them infrequently.

I, on the other hand, have bought a few lovely tops in the sale and am revelling in the fact that I can spend it all on me.

threesypeesy Sun 27-Jan-13 08:04:25

I dont thing i could do it, its her present to spend on whatever she wishes whether you think she needs something or not! im sure she would want something with it given half the chance!

always perplexs me that some parents think gifts should be things that are needed in my opinion it should be wanted, things that are needed should be covered by parents

but thats just me!

ShatnersBassoon Sun 27-Jan-13 08:11:29

I'd use them. It all evens up. You'll inevitably spend the equivalent in cash on her elsewhere.

I often raid the kids' money boxes for change for the window cleaner. I don't always remember to put it back. They still get everything they need and most things they want.

redwallday Sun 27-Jan-13 08:18:08

I would use the cards but replace the same amount in cash for her savings.

normaleggy Sun 27-Jan-13 08:18:27

Who gives a 5 year old Argos vouchers?

I'd use them and put the money back in the future if I could afford it. If I couldn't, tough everyone needs a Hoover!

My dcs used their Xmas money to pay for their after school clubs this term as I am skint. Their idea (age 8 and 6) I'm very proud they want to use their money for a good cause. I'm sure if you asked your ds he wouldn't mind you using the vouchers anyway.

Indith Sun 27-Jan-13 08:27:09

I'd use the gift cards but I would make sure it was paid back. However that wouldn't be hard to do, kit for after school activities and so on or even money towards the classes themselves count as birthday presents in our house. Ds1 jst turned 6 and one set of grandparents have paid for his Beaver uniform and another for his rugby kit.

Seachelle Sun 27-Jan-13 08:28:00

Sorry but YABU unless you pay £30 into her savings either now or at a later date. I am surprised at the number of posters who think this is acceptable. Surely this would be theft if she was an adult?!

Emilythornesbff Sun 27-Jan-13 08:29:40

It's so tempting to say YAbu, and you shouldn't take the vouchers but really, they're not to spend on you are they?
So let yourself off, I say. "treat yourself" grin to that vacuum cleaner.

Oh, what about the thank you card?
Might have to replenish money after all to avoid any poss offence to your friend.
So actually, YAbu, but it's very frustrating!

BlackholesAndRevelations Sun 27-Jan-13 08:34:23

Theft?! Are you kidding? The 5 year old has more stuff than she could possibly need. The whole family needs a Hoover. She will never miss it. I agree with the posters saying you'll pay her back a million fold on things that she doesn't need but wants, eg dance classes/after school clubs/trips to the cinema etc etc. OP YANBU and the posters who say you are stealing from your daughter are being ridiculous.

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