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Is this fair or are school BU?

(89 Posts)
M0naLisa Fri 25-Jan-13 08:30:35

At the end of each term 'good' children in school get to attend something called a 'no stage' party.

In each class there is a happy face and a sad face on the whiteboards.

Children who have been naughty go on sad face
Children who are good and do things extra special like helping with tidying and been friendly get to go on happy face.

Those children during the term that have been on sad face are denied an invitation to the no stage party. They have to sit in class and do work.

My 4yr old was put on sad face on Monday for talking when teacher was talking.

Now he's upset that he won't be able to go to the party that his friends and brother will be going to.

Is this being harsh for 4yr olds? Or reasonable?


valiumredhead Fri 25-Jan-13 08:33:17

It's pretty standard ime - ds's school do it with traffic lights - green if you are good, amber if you get a warning and go onto red and you miss out on golden time on a Friday.

ScentedNappyHag Fri 25-Jan-13 08:33:47

What did your DS do to be out in the sad face board?

rollmopses Fri 25-Jan-13 08:35:14

Children have to learn discipline and the important principle that actions always have consequences. Also, that if you want to 'win', ie, go to the party, you must work hard (at being well behaved, study hard etc).
The sooner they grasp the concept the better for them in the long run.
The school are not being unreasonable.

valiumredhead Fri 25-Jan-13 08:35:46

It says in the OP scented grin

RingoBaa Fri 25-Jan-13 08:36:06

I think that is way too harsh for a 4 year old.

Sirzy Fri 25-Jan-13 08:36:30

I think a term is quite a long time for a 4 year old to have perfect behaviour so unless the teachers very rarely put anyone onto the sad face I think it would be better as a weekly thing than termly, or with a "if your on less than 5 times a term" type system.

however, I have no problem with things like this if the school find it works. My only issue would be if a child had some sort of behavioural difficulties they would need to be realistic in what they could achieve before putting them onto the sad face (if that makes sense) so they didn't always miss out.

HKat Fri 25-Jan-13 08:36:51

I don't necessarily think it's that bad if thessystem is done week by week, like valium's seems to be, but it seems quite harsh to miss out on one off end of term party just for being on the sad face board only once...unless I've misunderstood that of course!

oscarwilde Fri 25-Jan-13 08:38:05

Can't be too many children at the happy party!
Provided its clear to your DC what "good" is, and its not down to the mood of the teacher on the day then I would say that you are BU. He's in school and they need to use all the incentives they can get to maintain discipline. I'm surprised they don't allow children to earn back a good status though. It's not particularly motivational if you know you are barred early on in the term.

valiumredhead Fri 25-Jan-13 08:38:57

I didn't realise it was the end of term party - nope, don't think that is fair and too long a wait for small children. That is something ds would have got very anxious about.

M0naLisa Fri 25-Jan-13 08:43:04

Yes it's once and they miss out on the party. I think it should also be on a week by week basis or if they have been on sad face more than once - so like 3 time or something.

There are children in ds2 class who's names are on the sad face daily unfortunately.

M0naLisa Fri 25-Jan-13 08:43:27

Yes he was talking when teacher was talking whilst sat on the carpet

landofsoapandglory Fri 25-Jan-13 08:43:33

A term is too long for a primary school aged child IMO.

Saying that though, I doubt it was the first time your DS had been talking whilst the teacher was talking, and I should imagine he had been warned before he was given a sad face.

YorkshireDeb Fri 25-Jan-13 08:44:29

It's a good reward system but IMHO a term is too long for young children to understand. We have children who would mess around for the rest of the term after going on the sad face as they'd no longer have any reason to try. If you're not happy though go to talk to the teacher & ask her to explain how the system works & what type of things lead to them being put on the sad face. X

deXavia Fri 25-Jan-13 08:45:15

Wow even some crimes get 3 strikes and you're out! He got one sad face and that's 4. Then yes actually I would say thats pretty harsh.

valiumredhead Fri 25-Jan-13 08:46:49

Yeah, what is the incentive to behave once you are on the sad face board?

Cornsyilk99 Fri 25-Jan-13 08:49:37

not fair
one strike and they're out?

nefertarii Fri 25-Jan-13 08:51:22

From what you say its just the party that he misses out on. Not the other stuff.

Seems to be the party is for the kids who are manage to go a full term without getting a sad face.

What happened last term? Did he get to go?

5madthings Fri 25-Jan-13 08:54:38

So they are naughty once and that's it no chance to redeem themselves?! That's white!

Our primary has the traffic light system, start on green and if you are on red at the end of the week then you lose a few mins of 'golden time' simple and the children can move back to orange/green etc if they are good.

CloudsAndTrees Fri 25-Jan-13 08:58:59

The happy face/sad face thing on the whiteboards is pretty standard, and it can work very well. But I don't think that it's fair to make children wait a term to have a 'punishment'. Apart from the fact that its simply too harsh for four year olds, it takes away the incentive to behave for the rest of the term.

If a child knows in week three that they are going to miss out on the party anyway, what's to stop them chatting to their friend while the teacher is talking in weeks four five and six? If they have the urge to say chat, or wriggle or whatever, then they may as well as they have no reason not to. I can't see how a system like that works the way it's intended to.

Happy face/sad face is good for minor misdemeanours, but what's the next stage up? My ds's school has a 'behaviour book' as well as the faces, and an entry into that would mean missing playtime, but the faces are just used for little things to encourage the children to manage their own behaviour. Or Is there a stage below the faces that would be better used for minor things that a class of four year olds are likely to do every day?

Greythorne Fri 25-Jan-13 09:01:02

Punishment should be within bloody living memory if the crime!

Talking on the carpet on Jan 24th should not be punished on February 20th (or whenever end of term is).

AnnieLobeseder Fri 25-Jan-13 09:01:10

Only one chance per term seems a bit harsh. As others have said, it's a long time for any child to behave, and what's the incentive to be good once you're on the naughty list.

Most schools work on a weekly basis, I think, which seems more fair.

WorraLiberty Fri 25-Jan-13 09:02:47

A one strike system for 4yr olds sounds very harsh...are you sure you understand it properly?

Who explained it to you? The teacher or your DCs?

Kleinzeit Fri 25-Jan-13 09:03:23

Wrong scale - a whole term and never on sad face? So if you get on the sad face in week 1 that’s you for the rest of the term? I don’t know though… maybe it rewards the very quiet well behaved ones who don’t make an impression otherwise, in which case as long as they have other reward schemes for the more – er – noticeable – kids, it might be OK.

But putting sad faces up where other kids can see is never right, doubly not if you have some kids getting sad faces every day. It not strongly motivating for most of the other kids and it’s a huge demotivator for the kids who get sad faces repeatedly - well you can tell it doesn’t work for them or they wouldn’t be getting them repeatedly! It can make kids just give up on school altogether. At age 4!

ThingummyBob Fri 25-Jan-13 09:07:14

It would definitely be a very quiet party in my ds's school if they used this system grin

Mine lose weekly golden time for bad behaviour.

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