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To have filmed my ds1s preschool nativity play even though

(283 Posts)
Nooneelseisallowedafergus Sat 08-Dec-12 13:58:40

We were expressly told no filming.

I did zoom in on just him ( as much as was possible ) and only filmed a few short clips, not the whole event.

I felt I would have really regretted not having captured the memory, and my son loves watching himself on film, and has already enjoyed watching the clips and singing along to the songs.

And I just don't see how a video of fully clothed children would be satisfying viewing for a peadophile. With this vein of thought surely we should start making our children wear burkas.

OscarPistoriusBitontheside Sat 08-Dec-12 14:01:12

More likely the school filmed it and want to sell it to you.

KellyMarieTunstall Sat 08-Dec-12 14:01:25

Its not just the threat of peadophiles watching the videos though.

Its the risk of estranged parents finding their children though facebook etc.Its a very real danger to some families.

katykuns Sat 08-Dec-12 14:02:40

You shouldn't have done it, it sets a bad example to your child doesn't it? Like rules don't apply to everyone?

That being said, I know what you mean and agree with you what a stupid rule it is. Our school provides a dvd of the performance we can buy, but its not the same... you film it to capture YOUR child, not everyone elses...

rebecca87 Sat 08-Dec-12 14:02:58

It's to do with child protection as well for example if a mother and her children had escaped an abusive ex and did not want them to know where they lived - if someone has filmed it and it got around that ex would find out and could be a danger to the family again, even if it is your child you are filming you will be able to see some other children. Sorry but the rules are not just there to spoil the fun - there are reasons for them

LynetteScavo Sat 08-Dec-12 14:04:17


BackforGood Sat 08-Dec-12 14:05:00

Of course YABU.
Apart from what KellyMarieTunstall has said - there are all sorts of potential child protection issues you wouldn't be aware of, what kind of example are you setting your child.....well, it doesn't matter if I ignore the rule because it doesn't suit me on this occasion.... ? hmm

DameMargotFountain Sat 08-Dec-12 14:06:37


exactly for the child protection issues highlighted above

and if any children were in LA care their ID often has to be protected..

TantrumsAndBalloons Sat 08-Dec-12 14:07:35

You know you are being unreasonable.
The rule is there to protect vulnerable children.

You and your child are not so special that the rules that everyone else follows do not apply to you because you would have been sad not to have your child on film.

You have no idea why there's no filming, clearly you didn't think about the fact you might be putting people at risk.

Oh well, as long as you have your video, eh?

Tailtwister Sat 08-Dec-12 14:07:49

Yabu and selfish. Do you think the rules are there just to make life difficult for you? You could have potentially put another child at risk. That's apart from the fact you are setting a bad example for your child.

McChristmasPants2012 Sat 08-Dec-12 14:07:59


It's about child protection, If i was a parent that had escaped an abusive partner I probably wouldn't allow them to be in the play because of numpties who can follow a simple rule of Not recording

TandB Sat 08-Dec-12 14:08:39

These rules are very rarely to do with "paedo-hysteria".

They are in place because the internet is so all-encompassing these days that it makes it much more possible for people to track down children who they should not have contact with. People stick things on facebook, twitter, photo-websites etc, and the schools have no way of ensuring that everyone has appropriate privacy settings. There is always going to be some idiot who has no security settings on their facebook account and sticks up photos or films of children with tags and comments that could lead to them being easily identifiable to someone looking for them.

There have been stories on MN from people whose children HAVE been identified and located due to their images being on the internet, and who have had horrific experiences as a result. Your wish to film your child is considerably less important than another parent's NEED to keep their child protected.

DS's old nursery made thorough enquiries with all parents before allowing any photos or filming of their nativity play, and they asked that nothing be placed on the internet at all. If anyone had expressed a concern then none of us would have been allowed to film it at all.

I wll try to link to an old thread about this where people explained the reasons in great detail.

YABU. You are not above the rules.

WelshMaenad Sat 08-Dec-12 14:08:42

Of course you're not unreasonable. The rules don't apply to you. You're special. And fuck the poor kids in LA care whose location and identity might need protecting, eh? As long as you capture those memories.

BackforGood Sat 08-Dec-12 14:11:09

...and this may come as a surprise to you, but it is actually possible to hold fond memmories of things you don't have a hard copy of you know !

TandB Sat 08-Dec-12 14:11:24

This one

SugaricePlumFairy Sat 08-Dec-12 14:11:39

I understand your desire to film your ds but if the school had expressly asked for Parents not to film why did you feel that you were the exception and then to blithely carry on ignoring their request.

Were you the only one?.

WorraLorraTurkey Sat 08-Dec-12 14:12:05

YABU but then so are the school, to have such a blanket ban.

My DS's school makes it clear to parents that if they don't want their child to be photographed or filmed, they shouldn't let them take part.

They ask parents to only film/photograph their own child as much as possible and not to put the videos on FB etc. They also make it clear that if parents don't comply with that request, there's nothing they can do.

So far (to my knowledge) only 2 parents have ever pulled their kids out and that's been in the last 6 or 7yrs.

So it works quite well.

chrismissymoomoomee Sat 08-Dec-12 14:13:34

YABVU and selfish, so long as you have your precious memories on film to make you happy fuck if you are putting someone else at risk eh?

Doinmummy Sat 08-Dec-12 14:14:35

How selfish of you .

Sparklingbrook Sat 08-Dec-12 14:15:43

YABU. Did you make sure to stand up and block everyone's view and distract them with the screen on your phone? You get more points for that.

ballstoit Sat 08-Dec-12 14:16:14

YABU as is Worra.
Why should any child be either put at risk or excluded from participating to allow you to have a video?

TandB Sat 08-Dec-12 14:17:22

Worra - that would generally work, but it could easily be a year where there are several at-risk children, and the logistics would be too difficult, hence a blanket ban.

Some schools have a much higher-than-average rate of child protection issues. My mum worked in such a school and they had some pretty hefty security measures in place. If there had been the internet back then, I would imagine that school would have had an absolute ban on cameras etc.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sat 08-Dec-12 14:17:30

YABU to feel entitled to do what the fuck you like, as if the normal rules (even if you don't agree with them, they are there for a reason and everyone is in the same boat...or should be) don't apply to you

Tailtwister Sat 08-Dec-12 14:17:40

So vulnerable children shouldn't be allowed to take part then worra, just so other parents can have their way? What a shame.

WorraLorraTurkey Sat 08-Dec-12 14:18:08

How am I BU for telling you the rules at my DS's school? confused

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