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to assume dp will have the (ahem) wet patch in the bed...?

(209 Posts)
lottie63 Wed 28-Nov-12 00:32:05

Just that really. He always expects ME to sleep in it. Sometimes I would just like him to say 'Don t worry. You have the dry half'..

AgnesBligg Wed 28-Nov-12 00:33:28


InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream Wed 28-Nov-12 00:36:59

I'd happily lay in the wet patch

its been a while


BunnyLebowski Wed 28-Nov-12 00:39:30

There's no need for a wet patch with a conveniently placed old tshirt or towel and a bit of wiggling blush

Alternatively you could orchestrate the....erm...positioning so that it ends up on DP's side grin

Fakebook Wed 28-Nov-12 00:40:07

There's this cool new invention that stops this from occurring. They're called "tissues".

ThatVikRinA22 Wed 28-Nov-12 00:41:23

i would whip out a tape measure mid, erm, proceedings OP. grin

RyleDup Wed 28-Nov-12 00:42:23

Yes, its his responsibility to lie in the wet patch.

<bangs gavel>

BunnyLebowski Wed 28-Nov-12 00:42:33

Bit cruel to go measuring his manhood during the deed Vicar wink

fuzzpig Wed 28-Nov-12 00:44:57

The dry HALF?! Just how big is this wet patch?

I feel inadequate now grin

fuzzpig Wed 28-Nov-12 00:46:07

And is this hypothetical, or are we actually getting the debate in real time and your poor but satisfied DP is lying there impatiently while you go on MN...

frantic51 Wed 28-Nov-12 00:48:45

Agreed, Agnes. SP you must be a lot younger than me. grin I went right off sex when ex h had a vasectomy and came home proclaiming, "no more condoms"! Just another excuse for him to leave his mess in a place where I'd have to clean it up! angry

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream Wed 28-Nov-12 00:50:24

I'm not particularly fussed about the wet patch. I'll just visit their house then leave after and sleep in my own dry, clean bed grin

MyCoilPicksUpGaydar Wed 28-Nov-12 00:53:29

There is always the option of, ahem swallowing it... problem solved... :D

do it on his side, or lay on a bath towel (folded in half just in case). simple! wink

monsterchild Wed 28-Nov-12 00:56:42

I just make sure I get myself to his side before he can get himself to my side. It becomes a bit of a competition, really. But a fun one!

Narked Wed 28-Nov-12 01:03:00

Condoms. Problem solved.

StuntGirl Wed 28-Nov-12 01:43:34

Am I terribly uncool if I admit I have no idea what you're all talking about?

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 28-Nov-12 01:50:25


I have discovered I am actually v flexible and avoid the "patch" at all costs. Even if those costs involve knees.

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 28-Nov-12 01:51:46

stunt OP means cum,after sex etc. <helpful face>


Not solved. Ttc here! It's a messy business blush

ripsishere Wed 28-Nov-12 02:23:57

Inlovewith. When me and DH were TTC, we ended up seeing a doctor. One of the first things he asked us was if we were using contraception. We were a bit taken aback.
He went on to tell us about a couple he'd seen who were using condoms otherwise 'it's a bit messy'

Ripsishere funnily enough we've been asked that too... As there was a couple that said they were ttc but were still using condoms confused

I've also had hospital appointments for other stuff and when asked about contraception, we get the hmm look when we say none! Winds me up it does. I'm just waiting for the day someone gives me a lecture and I can act all smug grin

AlienRefluxLooksLikeSnow Wed 28-Nov-12 04:36:58

TTC using condoms?? WTF? I always seem to end up on the soggy side, have tried multiple wiggling and conniving, DP has offered to sleep on my side, but I can't sleep on the wrong side of the bed, why the fuck am I up at 4.30 talking cum patches?

WankbadgersBreakfast Wed 28-Nov-12 04:42:46

When we got our new bed, I abolished "sides" so that no matter where we shagged, it was always on "his" side. No wet patch since <smug>

StickEmUp Wed 28-Nov-12 07:37:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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