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To think me posting a pic of myself and boyfriend on Facebook is not wrong?

(78 Posts)
InterstateSally Sun 25-Nov-12 11:23:36

Been together just under 6 months. He's worried sick about upsetting his kids (been divorced 2 years and his kids are 15 and 17 btw) and doesn't want me posting anything on Facebook about 'us' for that reason - yet he reckons he's told them about me!!??

Ages ago he said "you can put stuff on facebook, just don't tag me in it"

I have a lovely pic of us both together in a nightclub, a professional one. WIBU to upload it as my profile pic??

kinkyfuckery Sun 25-Nov-12 11:24:58

Why would it be unreasonable? He's said he's okay about you posting things, just don't tag him.

I'd be concerned about the whys though!

Novia Sun 25-Nov-12 11:26:02

So long as you don't tag him in it, what difference would it make to him? Presumably his kids aren't your FB friends so wouldn't see it til he linked to your profile?

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 25-Nov-12 11:26:17

Make your profile private as well, so only your friends can see it.

frootshoots Sun 25-Nov-12 11:26:31

Hmm, worried about the 'kids' eh? That ol' chestnut!

LineRunner Sun 25-Nov-12 11:28:08

I guess he doesn't want his family to see you two together. 'Worried sick' is quite a strong reaction tbh. Do you have any idea why?

valiumredhead Sun 25-Nov-12 11:28:56

Well, it could be that old chestnut or it could be exactly what he said, you've not been together even 6 months and he probably doesn't want his kids to find out via FB. Sounds responsible to me unless he's given you other reasons to worry.

AKissIsNotAContract Sun 25-Nov-12 11:29:06

Why would you want to make such a public announcement of being with him if he wants to keep you secret? I had this with an ex - he threw a big wobbly about a pic of us together on FB, turns out he was cheating on me and didn't want the OW to see it.

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 25-Nov-12 11:29:47

Teenagers can be unreasonable without cause when dealing with a parent's relationships. he might just be avoiding a fight with them. Or you could still be a big secret to everyone in his personal life.

scuzy Sun 25-Nov-12 11:31:48

when you say professional did you hire someone to take pics of you in a nightclub? confused

InterstateSally Sun 25-Nov-12 11:31:48

But he reckons he told them about me months ago and they were fine about it!

InterstateSally Sun 25-Nov-12 11:32:26

Scuzy no it was the nightclubs own photographer that goes around taking pics of couples/groups.

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 25-Nov-12 11:32:31

Any proof he's done that?

InterstateSally Sun 25-Nov-12 11:32:57


corlan Sun 25-Nov-12 11:34:13

Have you met any of his friends or family?

If he's still keeping you a secret after 6 months, you need to stop and take a look at that big red flag waving in front of you (sorry).

frootshoots Sun 25-Nov-12 11:35:56

I'd bet my left tit that his family know nothing of you. And half of my right tit that he's not divorced.

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 25-Nov-12 11:35:59

Or accept it as a fun relationship with no deeper expectations.

onetiredmummy Sun 25-Nov-12 11:36:42

If you don't tag him its fine. If he wants he can pretend you are a friend or someone he met that night confused

No he hasn't told his kids. He's lying to you.

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 25-Nov-12 11:36:59

How much do you know about him, outside of your relationship?

InterstateSally Sun 25-Nov-12 11:38:23

I know Corlan, I just wanted confirmation really that I'm not being a bunny boiler.

I knew it was unnatural to still not have met anyone after 6 months yet when I say this to him he acts like I'm "rushing things".

This upcoming holiday - I can't post anything on Facebook about it (or any pics when we return) as he doesn't want his kids to know about it. I said "well, surely they'll find out eventually?" (I'm meaning when I eventually meet them) and he said "err not necessarily" - so is he not intending to let me meet them at all???

onetiredmummy Sun 25-Nov-12 11:40:29

My instinct is that he's not divorced/does not intend to get divorced.

Do you only see him at certain times that cannot be rearranged? Have you been to his house?

ChippingInLovesAutumn Sun 25-Nov-12 11:40:44

Why do you want to be in a relationship with this bloke? He has his own children and is still acting like a 14 year old with spots.

ChippingInLovesAutumn Sun 25-Nov-12 11:42:30

It is not 'his kids' he's worrying about.

How often do you seem him? How often do you stay over at each others?

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 25-Nov-12 11:45:41

'I said "well, surely they'll find out eventually?" (I'm meaning when I eventually meet them) and he said "err not necessarily" - so is he not intending to let me meet them at all???'

It sounds like a short-term relationship.

mamababa Sun 25-Nov-12 11:46:26

Haven't you started another thread saying you think you want to split up? Why do you want to post a photo of you if you think he's dull and it's over? confused

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