Advanced search

to not date a Tory?

(277 Posts)
bejeezus Fri 11-May-12 09:31:19

Well...actually I dont care if IABU or not, I just couldnt do it.

What I really want to ask you; if you have Labour/left wing politics could you/would you/are you marry/ have a life partner who has Conservative/right wing politics?

And vice-versa of course?

LaurieFairyCake Fri 11-May-12 09:33:56


It would be fundamentally incompatible with who I am

iwantbrie Fri 11-May-12 09:34:42

Date one? I bloody married one! grin
We don't watch Question Time together, it causes arguements...
Seriously though, I'm much more left wing than he is, we just agree to disagree on certain topics. No big deal really, after 15 years together we know what things to just Leave Alone.

perceptionreality Fri 11-May-12 09:35:24

YANBU - I couldn't either. Your political persuasion underpins all your values. I would clash massively with a die hard tory.

fuckbucket Fri 11-May-12 09:37:53

I find they're all getting more and more mutually interchangeable certainly at the parliamentary level, so YABU.

bejeezus Fri 11-May-12 09:39:04

iwantbrie there would be no talking at all in our house, in order to avoid clashing i reckon!

what do you talk about? confused

Mopswerver Fri 11-May-12 09:39:11

No. I couldn't even consider it. I went on a few dates with one once. He was very well off and my friends were all for it but I just couldn't.

bejeezus Fri 11-May-12 09:41:33

yes i agree fuckbucket but a left wing person and a right wing voter have different and incompatible ideologies IMO

I dont think I even have any Tory friends...

iwantbrie Fri 11-May-12 09:42:32

bejeezus anything but politics unless we've got a bottle of wine open!
He does occasionally get into ranty Tory mode, I have perfected the 'nod and smile' technique along with a couple of 'yes dear's'... Winds him up no end grin

attheendoftheday Fri 11-May-12 09:42:35

YANBU. Political beliefs are a big deal and show a lot about a person.

bejeezus Fri 11-May-12 09:42:38

sorry...that should read a left wing voter and a right wing voter

Whatmeworry Fri 11-May-12 09:44:39

I find you get pompous pricks on the extremes of all the political movements, I detested the permanently bleeding hearts and Back-To-Marxists just as much as Tory Boys.

The saving grace of Tories is they are more likely to wash and less likely to have beards grin

iwantbrie Fri 11-May-12 09:45:10

Thing is I don't have a huge interest in politics anyway and have a pretty low opinion of most of the people involved in it so I'm not generally inclined to start a discussion about it.
We do disagree on alot of current affairs but we both respect each others opinion (even if we think it's load of old cobblers...)

bleedingheart Fri 11-May-12 09:45:15


I might be able to date but I couldn't live with and marry someone I fundamentally opposed politically.

paulapantsdown Fri 11-May-12 09:45:38

no I couldn't do it

aswell as another poster, I don't think any of my close friends are tory either

MoreBeta Fri 11-May-12 09:46:12


Its that 'forbiden fruit' thing. All the leftie girls at college went out with a Tory boy in the end.

Besides, everyone knows socialists and champagne go well together. grin

marshmallowpies Fri 11-May-12 09:49:36

I married one!
The issues that would have been a deal-breaker were if he was racist, sexist or homophobic, or didn't believe in global warming/care about environmental issues.

Luckily he did not tick any of those boxes and we just tend not to discuss the economic issues where we do differ also because I don't understand economics full stop.

He definitely falls into the category of Nice Tory. Plus, as I am more liberal/green leaning than socialist and loathe New Labour/Blair/Mandelson/Campbell we are united by our hatred of Labour although coming at it from different directions!

Pagwatch Fri 11-May-12 09:49:39

I couldn't date someone who had a different moral compass to me. So that may be an issue.
But I think excluding someone purely because of how they vote is odd. Not least because lots of people shift their political views over time.
Only dating people who feel exactly as you do on every issue smacks of something a bit odd - i don't know, arrogance or immaturity or something.

I wouldn't want to date 'me' in male form. How fucking dull would that be.
My personal views are robust enough that I can tolerate different ones around me.

chandellina Fri 11-May-12 09:49:39

would need more information ... kind of a difference between someone who vaguely identifies with a political party because of their upbringing vs. someone who aspires to be, say, an MP!

You'd also have to keep in mind that people's politics often evolve over time. The question is too black and white - most people aren't that politically definable anyway.

janelikesjam Fri 11-May-12 09:51:05

... if he was rich haha ... thinking alimony if it all goes wrong ... <grin>

janelikesjam Fri 11-May-12 09:52:39

Ooo what Pagwatch says. The moral compass bit and the rest. p.s. I dated someone with great genuine political morals (much more than me) who behaved like a complete jerk to me, urgh, so go figure ...

iwantbrie Fri 11-May-12 09:53:06

Now that would be an interesting question... "would you date an MP of any political party"grin
No bloody way...

MrsHoarder Fri 11-May-12 09:53:35

Depends how left wing you are. If you have fundamentally different ideologies (in everything from use of private education to how tax should work) then I think it would be very difficult to ever see it as a long term relationship. So its a waste of time to date someone that different.

If you are both fairly central and just slightly different sides of the spectrum then its silly to write it off just based on the label you vote for.

anothermadamebutterfly Fri 11-May-12 09:54:17


But then, I have never been tempted by one myself. I imagine it would be the same vice-versa.

KitCat26 Fri 11-May-12 09:55:17

Again, married to one (not die hard though). We occasionally have discussions about politics and just learn to disagree although I am right grin. We vote differently but then we are individuals. We agree on other things and share interests so its not a big deal.

I don't know how any of my friends vote (although they all do) and again even if they were a die hard Tory it wouldn't stop them being a nice person.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now