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to expect good wanking etiquette?

(261 Posts)
bashon Sat 05-Jun-10 13:18:58

eg thou shan't leave thine wanky tissues anywhere else but in thine bin.

NorbertDentressangle Sun 13-Oct-13 14:00:06

Maybe we could have a wank mitten competition where we all get busy with our knitting needles and Alan could judge them by testing them out?

I think Alan might like that.

GatoradeMeBitch Sun 13-Oct-13 13:58:55

My teenage DS uses tissue. He walks past me nonchalantly with a toilet roll and thinks I have no idea why his bin fills up with balls of toilet tissue. He even asks me to empty it when it gets full!

dubdurbs Sun 13-Oct-13 13:52:43

My brother used to use an old t-shirt. The only reason I know this is because the old Labrador we had at the time used to love rummaging for smelly socks when mum hoovered-she came out of his room one day with a mouthful and mum had a job of it pulling them from between the dogs teeth. The socks turned out, of course, to be a crusty old t-shirt that was stuck together and mum got a handful before she realised. Lots of disgusted screaming from her, and tortured howling from old Poppy the dog who thought she had discovered a tasty new toy!

DP uses tissues to clean up after himself, thank god!!

TheNunsOfGavarone Sun 13-Oct-13 13:37:43

Crying with laughter over the wank mitten!

Hmmmm, I knit, I'm unemployed and need a way to make money pdq, could there be a home business in this?

kali110 Sun 13-Oct-13 13:24:36

Sooooo funny!!

Donkeyok Sun 13-Oct-13 00:45:44

I've just had a horrible realisation
as to where all the missing socks go! shock

mirry2 Sat 12-Oct-13 23:16:15

I've just washed a very stiff pair of socks owned by my dd's boyfriend. At the time I thought they must have been worn for months hence the stiffness but now I'm wondering ...............

babybarrister Sat 12-Oct-13 22:59:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GuybrushThreepwoodMP Sat 12-Oct-13 22:53:42

Penis-dunking-gate has an awful lot to answer for.

ImThinkingBoutMyDoorbell Sat 12-Oct-13 22:43:53

Actually I have seen the "wank-mitten thread" referred to and linked to on at least one other forum/site just this week, it was mentioned on comments under the penis beaker topic on that site. In the context of "that's not a new low for mumsnet, have you seen this thread..."

I'm not surprised Alan came to mumsnet as a newbie and found the thread straightaway, especially if he's been on the other forum. He's one of many of us (me included as I've only been here a short while) who have seen this thread for the first time this week, thanks to another person mentioning it.

WarpKitten Sat 12-Oct-13 22:04:28

Does anyone have a knitting pattern for wank mittens? I've got loads of wool to use up and hubby usually uses my flange towel which is so annoying.

everlong Sat 12-Oct-13 16:52:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

quoteunquote Sat 12-Oct-13 16:39:59

Over the years I have had quite a few call outs, to fix guttering and down pipes, that are blocked, quite often the teenage boy of the house who has been given the roof conversion room, and has taken to lobbing the used tissues(and socks) out the velux window, it's a surprisingly common problem.

TonyThePony Sat 12-Oct-13 15:26:58

Killed that thread blush Many apologies grin

TonyThePony Sat 12-Oct-13 14:32:11

One of my friends had a wank in the back of a car. His mum was driving the car, his gran was in the front passenger seat shock

prettypleasewithsugarontop Sat 12-Oct-13 13:53:07

smug thank fuck i have 2 DDs

oldgrandmama Sat 12-Oct-13 12:16:30

By the way, meant to add that I'm a keen knitter ... but a wank gloves is a new one. Most exotic thing I've made is a coat for a poorly cat that feels the cold.

WMittens Sat 12-Oct-13 12:16:25

Pretty sure I'm going to have to change my name now.

oldgrandmama Sat 12-Oct-13 12:14:23

There's a wonderful episode on the subject in the incomparable 'Seinfeld', where the four friends have a contest to see who can go longest without doing 'it'. See

littlewhitebag Sat 12-Oct-13 11:53:26

alan48 How did you even find this thread. Did you join then decide to search for threads with wanking in the title? You are a weirdo methinks.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 12-Oct-13 11:47:03


UterusUterusGhali Sat 12-Oct-13 10:26:42

Only the ancient ones about wanking though.

But welcome nonetheless.

ChaosTrulyReigns Sat 12-Oct-13 10:25:59

Cheers, Alan.


alan48 Sat 12-Oct-13 10:18:41

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Malificence Sat 13-Aug-11 15:13:47

Anyone remember the "hedghog cam / wanking with sandpaper" thread? - now that was funny. grin

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