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to not 'release wind' in front of my DP?

(173 Posts)
KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 16:33:24

We've been together 3 years. I've never done it. During a conversation with the girls last night, in their words I'm a 'bloody freak' hmm. I've also told him I don't poo blush

I'm not weird am I? Surely I'm not the only one who doesn't...?

Poledra Tue 01-Jun-10 16:35:28

How the hell do you manage it??

If I need to fart, then I need to fart. And I'm not going out of the room/getting out of bed every time. Honestly, woman, aren't you worried you might explode in front of him??

PatsyStone Tue 01-Jun-10 16:36:24

I wouldn't say you are a "bloody freak", but my mil always claims to never fart in front of anyone, and I think she farts loudly in bed while asleep all night instead! Does your dp really believe you don't poo?!

I do it in front of my dh, fwiw, why not?

KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 16:36:59

I just don't do it very often. If I do... I can hold it, or it doesn't make a noise (or smell) blush

Harimo Tue 01-Jun-10 16:37:28

I've not done it in over 10 years.

My Dh would be appauled. (no, seriously)

I am actually beginning to believe he DOESN'T poo.

Morloth Tue 01-Jun-10 16:38:49

I think it is a bit weird, but hey whatever.

iamamug Tue 01-Jun-10 16:38:59

I would seriously just burst!!!!
After 19 years there are no secrets left (wouldn't poo infront of DH though)
Hmmmm - I did when I gave birth - think I'm allowed that one.

smallones Tue 01-Jun-10 16:39:22

I would burst if I couldn't.

DH always likes to say " the couple that farts together stays together". Not sure how true that is though

KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 16:39:24

PatsyStone- He doesn't believe me, but he's never known me to, he's a bit baffled grin
As for why - I just think it's really gross, and a massive turn off. I was suprised that the others did. One even does it nin bed ad holds the cover down over his head [boak]

lorelilee Tue 01-Jun-10 16:39:36

My DH HATES it - he finds it really offensive. WE have been together for 13 years and I think I have heard or smelt his farts a total of about 4 times - he says that's what the toilet is for! I, however, come from a family of 'open' farters and find it very difficult to comply with his ban!

emsyj Tue 01-Jun-10 16:40:52

I think it's a bit odd to be with someone on a very intimate level and not fart in front of them, but whatever floats your boat... I know married couples who don't share a bathroom for fear the other will cotton on to the fact that they have bodily functions. I couldn't live like that, but hey ho.

Poledra Tue 01-Jun-10 16:41:07

Well, I tell DH my shit smells of roses but I don't think he believes me........

I have had to poo in front of DH but only post-surgery, when the medical staff wanted me to use a bedpan and wouldn't help me to the toilet. DH, god love him, took me to the loo and stayed with me, in order that I did not have to suffer the indignity of having to poo in my hospital cubicle blush

Morloth Tue 01-Jun-10 16:42:45

dutch ovens!

Like iamamug my DH has been at the business end during the births of both DSs. We have no secrets. He was very ill the other night and I helped him getting cleaned up - thought we were in for an A&E trip actually. It was yuck, but he is my DH.

NormalityBites Tue 01-Jun-10 16:42:59

I don't do it in front of my DP either. We've been together 10 years. I've never done it in front of him except when sleeping and then I don't know about it. grin I've also never used the toilet in front of him, nor he me. I wouldn't/don't let him see me shave my legs or underarms, and I don't like him watching me put on make up either. I don't talk to him about periods and refer to period pain as stomach ache. I prefer to leave some level of mystique intact - like when we go out for a special night we take it in turns to get ready and I go last so all he sees is the scratty make up free runt scramble up the stairs and a glorious sex goddess come down and none of the mysterious process that caused the transformation wink


ShatnersBassoon Tue 01-Jun-10 16:43:40

My sister is a bit like you, Kodak. She tries to maintain an image of gasless purity for her husband.

She was mortified when the truth about her actually really pooing was revealed by an unexpected, explosive episode of diarrhoea. Even the dog got to see her shit herself.

InVinoFerretsAss Tue 01-Jun-10 16:44:07

Not sure about telling DH you don't actually poo, does he still believe in Father Christmas as well?

My DH and I don't fart in front of each other, nor do we use the toilet in front of each other. I'm a big believer in trying to keep a bit of romance alive and after 3 kids we need all the help we can get!

PS. DH has NEVER seen me shave my legs either. Although he did offer to help me wax myself when I was too pregnant to see the necessary 'parts'. hmm It's not like I swan around in mules and full make up all the time, I just think there are things he really doesn't need to see!

2blessed2bstressed Tue 01-Jun-10 16:46:03

I admire your restraint - I'd much prefer never to fart in front of anyone, but sometimes you just can't help it. DP told me at the weekend that I was farting in my sleep - was mortified! I have never pooed in front of anyone and would never want to - that's why there's a door to the bathroom. Same goes for shaving my legs and bleaching moustache, private, private, private!

foureleven Tue 01-Jun-10 16:46:28

I dont. I think it's nice to keep some of the mystery back.

He has let out the odd trump in front of me but generally he gives the same respect. I teach the kids to go to the bathroom if they need to pass wind. I think, we give strngers the common courtesy of not making them breath in our gas so we should give our loved ones the same respect.

I wouldnt wee in front of him either. Is that weird? or should I start a new thread?

KodakTheBat Tue 01-Jun-10 16:46:58

NormalityBites - grin Are you me?

ShatnersBasson shock <considers taking a daily dose of immodium, just in case>

BritFish Tue 01-Jun-10 16:48:13

noone actually thinks their husband thinks they dont poo? noones that stupid are they?

i do not go to the toilet in front of DH, i prefer not to have an audience. he has peed in front of me, and farts are free flowing in this house. he saw me give birth. which is not a beautiful lovely thing visually....

Poledra Tue 01-Jun-10 16:48:39

I do not, through choice, defecate or urinate in front of my DH (though extenuating circumstances have led to that occurrence; see below). I would love it if my children, on the other hand, could learn not to come in whilst I am on the loo. Honestly, they (all girls) seem to regard it as a Good Time for A Chat......

iamamug Tue 01-Jun-10 16:49:27

I aagree there has to be some mystique - but like Morloth - sometimes shit happens - if you excuse the pun.
On holiday poor DH got dellie belly and had to send one of the boys to fetch me from my turn in the bar to come back and clean him up - and the room - and the bed - and the bathroom -
Poor love!!!

violethill Tue 01-Jun-10 16:49:44

So what happens if you need to let one rip in bed? Do you honestly get up and go to the loo? Do you have an en suite? How do you disguise a really good one?

I too admire the restraint shown by some of you, but I'm seriously wondering how you manage it!

NormalityBites Tue 01-Jun-10 16:49:46

*checks self for kodaks and bats* It is possible we're the same person. We're definitely the last of a dying breed grin It's not just DP I don't do that stuff in front of ANYONE ;) It's private!

IveStillGotIt Tue 01-Jun-10 16:51:24

I let rip in front of DP!!! I couldn't when we first started seeing each other though! And if I needed a poo, I would sent him out to the shop for fags or milk!
How things have changed though!!! If he's in the bath, and im desperate for a shit, i'll just go in and do it infront of him!
He wont poo infront of me though, he just stands banging on the door telling me to hurry up!!!
I cant poo in public toilets or other peoples houses though! Ive only recently managed to poo at my work toilets!!!

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