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to wonder who Oliver James is? working mothers look away!

(511 Posts)
Chulita Sat 22-May-10 12:06:26

Here Sorry if there's a thread on it already, I just read this and was a bit hmm

BAFE Sat 22-May-10 12:09:20

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Chulita Sat 22-May-10 12:15:01

grin I'd never heard of him before, wondered why he needed so many f*s in his book though...

BuzzingNoise Sat 22-May-10 12:16:29

I'm a working mum and I don't think it's my fault when DS is naughty. It's obviously DH's fault, surely...

AvrilHeytch Sat 22-May-10 12:16:30

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helyg Sat 22-May-10 12:19:26

And whose fault is it when a SAHM's children are naughty? hmm

Actually my DC are probably "OK" as my mum was their childcare, and nobody spoils and indulges more than Grandma grin

AvrilHeytch Sat 22-May-10 12:24:25

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LutyensCBA Sat 22-May-10 12:29:22

Stay at home with the kids and you're inhibiting their confidence. Go to work and send them to daycare and you're breeding thugs. Similarly, co-sleeping makes a child unable to put itself to sleep, while sleep routines lead to insecure and fussy babies

Damned if you do, damned if you don't springs to mind. hmm Ignore, ignore, ignore!

racingheart Sat 22-May-10 12:51:06

I think he's nuts. He comes over as a grown man who still blames his parents for everything wrong in his life. I met him once through work and he was really unpleasant. In the end I was rude to him and he started being really ingratiating and nice back. Yeuch!

FairyMum Sat 22-May-10 12:51:24

Tedious man who swears too much. His mother's fault of course.

ruckyrunt Sat 22-May-10 12:57:10

it has to be the dads fault as sahm get naughty children, working mothers get naughty children - therefore the only logical explanation is that the dads are doing something not right and it is making children naughtygrin

KurriKurri Sat 22-May-10 13:27:35

I think he has a few ishoos.

BelleDameSansMerci Sat 22-May-10 13:31:51

My DD is a little angel <smug grin emoticon>

I blame her nursery...

mrsbean78 Sat 22-May-10 13:36:54

“As a parent of a child of this age, you need to realise that if things go pear-shaped it is actually always your fault, in the sense that if you keep a close enough eye on them you can prevent atrocities.”


withorwithoutyou Sat 22-May-10 13:43:48

Why should working mothers look away?

Very many of us are happy with our choices and don't get upset by his views.

cory Sat 22-May-10 13:46:08

What I don't understand is the neat progression of Dr James' own career. Why aren't there any gaps where he was spending his time preventing atrocities and keeping a close eye? Or hasn't he got any offspring of his own to spend time with? Or - silly me! - did I manage to forget that this is the little woman's responsibility?

BelleDameSansMerci Sat 22-May-10 13:57:12

Well it is in The Telegraph grin

AvrilHeytch Sat 22-May-10 14:11:31

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AvrilHeytch Sat 22-May-10 14:13:18

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cory Sat 22-May-10 14:31:28

"When their children are small, most mothers employ mental acrobatics to reconcile their "mummy" and "worker" identities, and justify decisions about working or not working."

Ah, he's already forgotten to be PC and call them parents or primary care givers. I knew he wouldn't be able to keep up this pretence of living in the 21st century.

helyg Sat 22-May-10 14:35:07

But doesn't the Guardian article contradict the Telegraph one? If everything is the mother's fault then surely it doesn't matter whether the father takes an interest in childcare?

Haliborange Sat 22-May-10 14:36:58

So he is "fucked up" and it is all his mother's fault? How old is he? I stopped wailing "it's not fair, it's all your fault" when I was about seven.

With hindsight this was a mistake. I could have made my fortune from it, just like Oliver.

OhBuggerandArse Sat 22-May-10 14:50:14

He's a dodgy bugger. Was well known as a shagger by my contemporaries at university - that would be by girls at least twenty years younger than him. Perhaps not the ideal power balance for someone who presumes to lecture us on ethics and responsibility?

Tattyhead78 Sat 22-May-10 14:51:49

Some of his writing is quite to the point about how we care too much about material things etc., but he takes it to another level by saying that if we weren't like that then mothers would not need to work, which is obviously rubbish. I oversimplify of course and to be fair to him he suggests that mothers going to work is a good thing if they are doing it out of choice rather than having to, because they will be happier which means their children will be happier. But I don't think you need to be an expert to work that out and he lays the blame for all of society's ills at the foot of the majority of people who have no choice in the matter. I think he is maybe a rich bloke who doesn't have a proper job! wink

violethill Sat 22-May-10 15:00:37

Ah one of those types OhBuggerandArse.

One of my colleagues was lectured by Chris Woodhead while training to be a teacher - she had similar stories. The 'Do as I say, not do as I do' school of ethics and moral responsibility grin

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