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to think that if you cook dinner you should clean up after yourself?

(23 Posts)
queenoftheslatterns Sun 02-May-10 09:07:07

dh cooked last night, very kind of him etc, it was pasta and salad. the kitchen is a pigsty. he hasnt put away any of the food he got out, the work surfaces havent been cleaned and the kitchen looks like a largish bomb has gone off in there. I will happily wash up after he has cooked, but i feel that if you cook you are responsible for leaving the kitchen in a semi-respectable state. i refused to clean it last night but now its making my teeth itch!!!

compo Sun 02-May-10 09:10:01


when I cook I clean up as I go along

when dh cooks he uses every utensil in the kitchen and it looks like a bombsite

then he moans that as he has cooked I should clean it up hmm

emsyj Sun 02-May-10 09:10:49

DH does this. He's a great cook, but makes a full-on bombsite out of the kitchen ((sigh)). His view is, 'I cooked, you clean up', but as I keep trying to explain, if he just tidied up as he went along it would be much easier....

queenoftheslatterns Sun 02-May-10 09:16:56

exactly. its not hard to use something then put it back in the fridge/cupboard. cut bread, shake board into bin. break eggs, put shells in bin. grrrr

SloanyPony Sun 02-May-10 09:18:26

I don't necesarily think they should wash up or stack the dishwasher if they cooked but they should put away all the ingredients as they go (doesn't everyone do that?!?) and sort of wipe up the bench so that all is left is the utensils, pots and pans they used, stacked neatly ready to do (whether its dishwasher or by hand) and then the plates that get used as part of eating the meal.

Also, why is it the half of the couple that doesn't normally cook (be it male or female) seems to need to use every pot and pan for the most simple dish? I think us regular cooks learn quickly NOT to do that!

Hulababy Sun 02-May-10 09:20:47

I do all the cooking at home pretty much. I do tend to clean surfaces, etc as I go and will put things into the dishwasher mid prep. I put food and ingrediants away as I got too. And put used tins and packets, etc straght into the bin.

But not towards the end I don't. When serving up I don't then stop and put pans, etc. away and wipe up then.

Which means DH will do that cleaning up.

In our house the rule tends to be that I cook, DH cleans and washes after. But yes, I never leave it is a horrendous state. Mind you, when I have cooked a big meal for lots of us, just the stuff from the serving up can be a lot of mess.

queenoftheslatterns Sun 02-May-10 09:24:53

i wouldnt expect him to stop mid-service but its not hard to tiudy up as he goes along. its only pasta and salad ffs not a fecking banquet!!

(and i know i shall have to go and clean it up now)

DontCallMeBaby Sun 02-May-10 09:39:48

YABU, obviously the person who cooks should be allowed to leave the kitchen looking like an explosion in a combined Sainsburys/Lakeland branch, with added flower. The other adult in the house has benefited from a lovely meal and should be prepared to clear up, AND bring the cook her slippers and a glass of wine.

Guess whose DH never EVER cooks? wink

Seriously, sticking the ingredients back in the cupboards as you go along, yes. Any sort of washing up etc, no - bonus if you DO, but not a necessity. DH apparently agrees with me as he will pointedly leave ingredients out while clearing everything else up (grr).

Spatchadoodledo Sun 02-May-10 09:42:23

I know loads of couples, us included, that do 'i cook, you clean up'.

Having said that, during the week, SH works and tbh I usually do both!

EveWasFramed Sun 02-May-10 09:43:40

Cook doesn't clean...that's the rule in our if I cook, DH cleans up, if he cooks, I clean up. The good thing is, I cook most nights, and tend to use every pot/pan/utensil in the house, and DH cleans as he goes! grin

withorwithoutyou Sun 02-May-10 09:44:16

Gah, my DH does this!

He tends to cook and I deal with the dishses, which is fine.

But the man can't make a sandwich without leaving the cheese out unwrapped and the pickle jar out of the fridge, the bread knife on the surface instead of the dishwasher etc etc

cat64 Sun 02-May-10 09:45:17

Message withdrawn

Cthulhu Sun 02-May-10 09:54:18

YANBU. This is a major bugbear of mine. Have a foodie partner who can never do simple, never uses one pot when 67 will do and never clears up after himself when cooking... He works so hard getting the food great that he feels exhausted by the time it's served and eaten and is therefore quite confident that he has done his bit and the clean-up operation is mine to tackle. He is a brilliant cook but tbh apart from high days and holidays I'd far far rather eat simple, easy to prepare food and have a straightforward clean up on my hands than have a super delicious feast and have to clear a bombsite.

MrsDinky Sun 02-May-10 09:54:33

It's not just when cooking, either, DH can't do any household task without leaving all the tools out, so I am always finding random screwdrivers, measuring tapes etc out.

Also has another annoying habit when he does clear the kitchen, our cooker has one of those glass lids that covers the rings, I so hate it when I lift it up in the morning and find the hob still all splattered with food sad

CastleDouglas Sun 02-May-10 09:55:10

Yup, another one here. I tidy up as I go along, DH leaves everything on the work surface. When he makes a sandwich, he scatters crumbs, cheese, ham everywhere. It's not a big deal, but it still pees me off.

Lonicera Sun 02-May-10 09:55:57

my dh is just them same - great cook, but makes a huge mess

CastleDouglas Sun 02-May-10 09:56:44

Mrs Dinky, my DH does that too, treading on a screwdriver is a great way to enjoy a Sunday hmm

ScreaminEagle Sun 02-May-10 10:12:23

Message withdrawn

Goblinchild Sun 02-May-10 10:12:57

I've got teenagers, so it's been a rule that you cook, you clear up after yourself. Although the actual washing up can be done later the same evening.
OH lived as a student and postgrad in a shared house for years, so he came ready-trained.

So if it irritates you, make it clear to them that if you cook you clean up. Or for those who say their men insist that if they cook that's enough, make them clear up after you every time you cook.
Don't sigh and roll your eyes, they won't get it. grin

tortoiseonthehalfshell Sun 02-May-10 10:19:14

I'm sympathetic too. I do slow cooking one pot stuff, so it takes ages but there's lots of time between stages so by the end of it the only clean up (save the table setting is one big pot and a serving spoon.

He does simpler stuff with lots of components; chops in one pan, gravy in another, mash in a third, greens in a fourth, plus colanders, spoons, the peelings from the spuds, all the bags of vegies and the butter left out, flour all over the counter and knives everywhere.

Goblinchild Sun 02-May-10 13:55:50

That's how my children used to cook when they were around 10. grin

TulipsInTheSunshine Sun 02-May-10 14:01:44

i cook, dp cleans the kitchen.

works for us.

i do tidy as i go up to a point but find towards the end when everything is coming together that's usually impossible so dp does that along with the dishes.

adaley Fri 16-Dec-16 00:19:39

I personally think the person cooking should clean as they go - as most of you have said. Cleaning up the kitchen after a bomb went off to me is not worth the meal. So, if DH wants to make a disaster in the kitchen, I'd rather order a pizza. I am pretty much the only person who cleans in this house. Today, I spent hours doing dishes, sweeping, wiping down surfaces, hoovering. When my husband got home he made a stirfry with a sticky general gau's sauce. Drops of it all over all the surfaces. and frying pans and utensils thick with it. He had a coffee cup full of the sauce, dripping on the kitchen table. So, I'd cleaned the kitchen already today. I just wasn't prepared to do it again. I would rather not eat dinner than have to deal with that mess. When I spend a day cooking/baking, I clean up every last crumb as I go along. It is NOT a treat for people if you make them clean up all the crap. I don't think they would care to eat my pies if I left the flour and dough all over the surfaces?

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