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to hate hugging?

(103 Posts)

I love hugging dp/ds, but nobody else. Mil gives me whiskery hugs, and a friend inflicts long braless hugs on me which I find excruciating. They give me shudders for about ten minutes afterward, that "nails on a chalkboard" feeling iyswim? But thankfully no-one else usually hugs me.

And then today I met my new home start volunteer who was very nice, but when she got up to go she swooped in and gave me a big hug, and my heart utterly sank. I've let another hugger into my life, and I'm going to see her every week. At least I only see the other huggers every few weeks. Waaah!

Am I the only one who hates hugs? Is there a polite way of saying "Don't touch me you give me the creeps?" blush

<freak emoticon>

KurriKurri Wed 17-Feb-10 17:48:18

Sorry I'm a hugger and kisser and patter of arms. Can you develop rampant BO? grin

ShowOfHands Wed 17-Feb-10 17:49:03

I can't bear it. 11 years I've been with dh and his family still swoop in for hugs and kisses when we arrive/leave. It doesn't get better, just worse. DH's grandparents kiss me On The Lips and I just cringe for hours afterwards.

Hugging anybody other than dd/dh = itchy teeth.

On the lips??? Oh god no I wouldn't be able to contain the massive "BLEEEURGHGEROFFME!" blush

LetThereBeRock Wed 17-Feb-10 17:53:54


I cannot stand being hugged by strangers, or even friends. I have sensory and personal space issues and it feels awful when someone hugs me. I can sympathise with the way it makes you feel.

I tend to step back when I see someone going in for a hug,and would extend my hand instead. I don't care if it's rude.
If possible I will explain that I'm not comfortable with it and that I have sensory issues.

heQet Wed 17-Feb-10 17:55:06

No, you're not alone. I am not keen on invasion of my personal space grin

Worse than hugs are those people who get so close to you when talking to you! I have to step backwards and then they move forwards to close the gap hmm What is WRONG with them? I moved back - take the bloody hint!

KurriKurri Wed 17-Feb-10 17:59:49

blush <vows to restrain hugging habits>

I don't do the getting up close to talk thing - I wouldn't like that.

I certainly wouldn't be offended if you said you weren't comfortable with hugging.

lolapoppins Wed 17-Feb-10 18:08:23

Hate it, hate it.

I can't bear it when guests are leaving, and we are all at the front door and there is just the expectation to hug and kiss on the cheek. It makes me so uncomfortable, and if I really have to I always end up going in the wrong way, bumping cheeks and feeling live a prize idiot.

Manly handshake and a pat on the back is far preferable.

KurriKurri Wed 17-Feb-10 18:12:54

I don't understand why it's so horriblesad,
It only goes on for a very short length of time.

Manly handshakes???? That is so formal.

PixieOnaLeaf Wed 17-Feb-10 18:14:51

Message withdrawn

heQet Wed 17-Feb-10 18:16:57

It's the invasion of your space. I've got an invisible circle around me grin if you step into it, I have an overwhelming urge to push you back out grin

KurriKurri Wed 17-Feb-10 18:18:03

<Waves at HeQet from a distance> grin

Kurrikurri as I said, it's that nails on a chalkboard thing, it may only go on for a short time but while it's happening you just shudder and hate it.

I just don't like being pressed up against someone (especially women, I don't like boobs on me! and no I'm not homophobic or anything silly like that) it feels really intrusive.

blu3sky Wed 17-Feb-10 18:20:50

I used to hate hugs when I was younger - then everyone went through this phase at school and college where you hugged all the time! Suddenly all my mates were touchy feely and I was forced to adjust or be an outcast sad. My mum was so surprised when I voluntarily hugged her goodbye at that time grin so now I hug her lots. It still feels really really awkward with everyone else except DH of course smile.

heQet Wed 17-Feb-10 18:21:12


DebiNewberry Wed 17-Feb-10 18:21:39

I am a hugger. But, I don't hug people who don't like it. I read the runes and act accordingly.

LisaD1 Wed 17-Feb-10 18:22:02

I only make friends with people who look like non-huggers!! Family know me too well to even bother trying as I can't hide my displeasure!

Only ever hug DH/DC.

Can't bear someone in my space.

HuwEdwards Wed 17-Feb-10 18:22:13

No, breast to breast hugs - yuck. Similarly kissing.

I have a very good Spanish friend who (double)kisses all friends with the exception of me as she said she could always sense I would growl in response.

PixieOnaLeaf Wed 17-Feb-10 18:22:33

Message withdrawn

KurriKurri Wed 17-Feb-10 18:24:28

Don't worry Pixie - I think I am sounding like the odd one on this threadgrin

Owls Wed 17-Feb-10 18:24:55

Ah no something else to worry about. I am a hugger. So shoot me.

Owls Wed 17-Feb-10 18:25:31

Oooh hugs Kurri.

KurriKurri Wed 17-Feb-10 18:28:29

<<Swoops down and enfolds owls>>

bibbitybobbityhat Wed 17-Feb-10 18:28:44

Am a hugger and kisser myself, but find it very odd to get a hug or kiss from someone I have only just met.

Also, the one kiss or two question? I much prefer one. Can't we all just agree to stick with one to avoid the confusion?

Its a shame you don't feel comfortable with a hug or kiss from your ILs after 11 years soh sad.

bibbitybobbityhat Wed 17-Feb-10 18:30:39

Kurrikurri - come over here! - my arms are outstretched wink

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