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AIBU?

to think my CBT therapist is living in cloud cuckoo land?

89 replies

othermother · 30/11/2009 23:16

I actually want to tell her to just fuck right off!

She's very lovely and all that,but I don't think she has much life experience at all, and she's telling me that I am supposed to replace my negative feelings with positive ones. My main problem is my youngest son who has asd and he's extrememly challenging, and my biggest gripe is that my dh just cannot handle him and so I end up dealing with all his behaviours (on top of work, housework, looking after the other kids etc) and she expects me to turn my neg feelings round by thinkibng that dh "tries" to help.

I want to fucking knock six something or others (far too stressed to even remember the phrase) and ram them down his throat NOT praise him for fucking trying. I'm sick of being the one doing it all, and then now I'm supposed to feel I'm wrong for feeling angry and am supposed to find some positive somewhere out of all of this. I'm not best happy.

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Lauriefairyonthetreeeatscake · 30/11/2009 23:18

How long have you been going?

It should be perfectly ok to express how angry you are in a therapy session.

othermother · 30/11/2009 23:19

2 weeks lmao!

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fernie3 · 30/11/2009 23:20

YANBU A couple of years ago my doctor reffered me to a counsellor who told me to try and put some very negative things in the past into a more positive light. I think she must have been unconcious when I explained what they were or she had forgotten because I cant think of a single way to put them in a more positive light - it would be impossible.

I think sometimes it takes a long time to see positive results but I think you have to get along with the person helping you for it to work at all!

othermother · 30/11/2009 23:20

she just seems so focussed on the textbook stuff iykwim? She also told me I brighten up her wednesday afternoons...she's gonna be in for shock this week then! HA!

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shallishanti · 30/11/2009 23:21

who recommended her?
this doesn't sound right to me

serinBrightside · 30/11/2009 23:21

Is she NHS or are you paying her?

Think I would use the money to maybe join a gym or swimming pool and give myself some time off and DH some quality time alone with DS and the housework.

othermother · 30/11/2009 23:22

I do get on with her...she's fun, she's dippy, she's really great, but I do think she's not really lived enough iykwim?

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othermother · 30/11/2009 23:23

NHS!! I can't afford to pay.

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bibbitybobbityhat · 30/11/2009 23:26

CBT isn't the correct type of therapy for all problems. It usually works very well for problems that are fixable (ocd, phobias etc).

serinBrightside · 30/11/2009 23:28

How old is youngest DS? could his school or CDC offer you any advice re behaviour management?

othermother · 30/11/2009 23:28

Mine's supposedly bipolar, but I'm not depressed...all I really need is a break I'm sure.

Ach well....I shall have fun on Wednesday with her....she's gunna be in for a shock!

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othermother · 30/11/2009 23:30

He's almost 6, but cos he's still undergoing the diagnosis thingy there's not much they can do,. Support round here is pretty crap (i think it's not that good anywhere tbh judging from the SN boards).

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fernie3 · 30/11/2009 23:30

whats happening on wednesday??

othermother · 30/11/2009 23:32

My CBT appt!

It's every week....would you believe my gp referred me back in Feb and I only just got my first appt 3 weeks ago? (2 sessions ago).

On a more positive note, it's only 28 mins till my birthday!! :D

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fernie3 · 30/11/2009 23:34

I just wondered why she was going to get a shock . My appointment was months coming through as well, there is a long waiting list pretty much everywhere I think!.

Happy nearly birthday!

serinBrightside · 30/11/2009 23:35

Maybe you should send DH instead, she might be able to motivate him (to make a dreamcatcher or something!).

othermother · 30/11/2009 23:36

thanks for the happy nearly birthday wishes :D I'm celebrating with lager.
PMSL at dreamcatcher making! I can think of better things to make for him right this moment ;)

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MillyR · 30/11/2009 23:36

I can't see how you having a very stressful life is going to be made easier by CBT. Are there any other types of therapy that the NHS would offer you?

serinBrightside · 30/11/2009 23:37

Yeah birthday!
Have you a cake?

othermother · 30/11/2009 23:39

I dunno...valium might be better

No cake YET but I shall fully expect one to materialise tomorrow after tea!

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serinBrightside · 30/11/2009 23:45

Or practical help, you sound exhausted.
Do you get sleep?

othermother · 30/11/2009 23:54

That's EXACTLY what I need serinbright, but where the hell do you go for that? I went to the GP for help, got ds referred with a view to getting help in at least the best ways to deal with his behaviours, but first they have to do a diagnosis which takes years. Unfortunately me and dh both have the type of hippy parents who believe they've done their bit (or killed themselves as in my dad's case) so they don't get involved at all.

It's a pisser, that's for sure. I have last week joined a group for my ds where he can stay for a few hours on a sunday..that is FANTASTIC!! Hopefully that will ease things somewhat.

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serinBrightside · 01/12/2009 00:10

What about Surestart or some of the voluntary agencies? The diagnosis bit shouldn't take years without any help.

Is DS in mainstream or special school? here the kids have the option of special school if ASD is suspected and they leave at the end of key stage one if the diagnosis has not been confirmed.

You have such a lot to deal with, and that is terrible about your Dad. I would be standing in the GP's/health visitors everyday until they did something to help.

othermother · 01/12/2009 00:17

Best part of it is I work for surestart!! (LMFAO!!!) and I do consulatuncy work and atm I'm doing a consultation on services for parents of SN kids...there's fuck all out ther.

He's in mainstream, cos he copes at school (cute and the teachers love him....though he cannot read or write properly and doesn't interact with his peers) and his teacher is the senco. Ho hum...i'm probbaly just in a bit of a shitty, though I feel better now ds has gone to skleep now, and he's bloody lovely really! And it's my birthday!!! YAY!!!!

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othermother · 01/12/2009 00:18

I think I meant consultancy there .... oops.

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