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To claim a sexual fantasy I don't actually have just because I think DH is taking the piss with his?

(100 Posts)
Maidithappen Wed 18-Nov-09 13:53:06

Namechanger obviously. I nearly put this in relationships, then I realised I was asking AIBU so I thought here was better.

Back story: together 9 years, married 5. Have two small DCs. I work 2 days per week, DH works 4.

Ever since we have been together, I have done almost all of the housework except cooking the evening meal, which DH has always done. He doesn't mind (and so he bloody shouldn't as I do nearly everything else) and I think the main reason he does it is because he likes to eat earlier, say 7, whereas if I am cooking we're lucky to sit down at 9, what with putting the DCs to bed etc. But, as I say, it's not a problem, although MIL makes the odd dig, like they do.

DH occasionally puts a wash on, sometimes irons. What he hardly ever does, however, is the traditional "man" things. He will cut the lawn, that's about it. As for DIY, decorating, minor repairs, flat pack furniture . . . well either I do it or get someone in. This does irritate me a bit.

Right, back story done. We have been thinking about ways to liven up our sex life (which was good anyway but needed a touch of spice, we thought). I got the idea on here to do the thing where you both act out a fantasy for the other.

DH's was to come home from work and find me cooking dinner dressed as a sexy French Maid. Um . . . blush . . . so I did, and it was er . . . blush a great success.

So he has asked me to do it more often. I have done it five or six times now.

The thing is that the last couple of times I suddenly got the feeling that it's actually nothing to do with the outfit, or the sex, that actually he just wants his dinner cooked for him. Call it women's intuition if you like wink.

So, here's the AIBU - given that I don't really have any fantasy that I want to/could act out with DH, would it be unfair of me to say that my fantasy is to come home and find him in jeans, workman's boots, checked shirt and large tool,belt putting up some shelves or something similar?

I can see this all working out quite well but I feel guilty about being underhand, even though I think he may be himself be being a little less than honest.

notnowbernard Wed 18-Nov-09 13:55:41

You have just made me spit my coffee all over the keyboard

Sorry to laugh, but that is a hilarious OP grin

I say go for it (tell him to keep his big tool to himself though until he's put the shelves up)

Lauriefairyonthetreeeatscake Wed 18-Nov-09 13:56:01

it may not entirely work out to your advantage as he will be expecting you to be blowing him drooling over him while he's doing the work......

when secretly you will want to wait til he's finished before you nibble himgrin

Maidithappen Wed 18-Nov-09 13:57:05

oh god, that should read "large tool-belt" not "large tool,belt"

What a Freudian slip.

thelunar66 Wed 18-Nov-09 13:57:07

oooh this is a good one. You need to make a list of all things you want him to do and work your way through it.

Iklboo Wed 18-Nov-09 13:58:02

I'd prefer a Mellors/Lady Chatterly scenario myself rather than the Handy Andy look but whatever gets your shelves put up floats your boat grin

WhatDidISayRoy Wed 18-Nov-09 13:58:07

pmsl OP

BelleDameSansMerci Wed 18-Nov-09 13:58:29

Oh I've been using that one for YEARS! Whenever he's doing any DIY I make him take his shirt off and make out it's a big turn on. He decorated the whole house with his shirt off. And in double quick time when he thought he would get a "reward" at the end.

So, no, you're not being unreasonable!

Sassybeast Wed 18-Nov-09 13:59:44

PMSL - go girl grin

mazzystartled Wed 18-Nov-09 13:59:57


just make sure you come home half an hour or so later than expected, just to make sure he's actually made some progress with the diy

ShowOfHands Wed 18-Nov-09 14:01:07

Ooh I like it.

Am going to try this on dh later.

"Ooh dh, I've got this little thing I want to try tonight. I've had this fantasy for a while. We're consenting adults, what do you think? I want to sit on the sofa and watch dinnerladies reruns whilst eating chocolate hobnobs."

Do you think he'll wonder what his role is? Shall I invent one?

JustAnotherManicMummy Wed 18-Nov-09 14:03:00

Hillarious. YANBU

BelleDameSansMerci Wed 18-Nov-09 14:03:13

SoH - the hobnob bearer?

tinkerbellesmuse Wed 18-Nov-09 14:03:19

Best AIBU for a long time grin

Maidithappen Wed 18-Nov-09 14:03:27

A possible snag is that DH isn't very good at DIY. It may not be a turn on to come home and find the house 18" deep in water where he's drilled through, or something.

Lauriefairyonthetreeeatscake Wed 18-Nov-09 14:04:17

he could go down on you while you're eating the hob nobs wink

Sassybeast Wed 18-Nov-09 14:05:05

Start him off gently with a flatpack wink Don't let him get his big power tool out on the first go.

Kaloki Wed 18-Nov-09 14:05:57

Hahaha, I love this!

BertieBotts Wed 18-Nov-09 14:08:36

YABU, checked shirts are horrible. Topless all the way grin

BarackObamasTransitVan Wed 18-Nov-09 14:11:12

What a genius AIBU! Thank you, OP!
pmsl at the Freudian slip, too grin

largeginandtonic Wed 18-Nov-09 14:12:14

Fabulous! Go on do it.

I want to hear back grin

Perhaps he will hover in the corner SOH with his pinny on grin

whoisasking Wed 18-Nov-09 14:13:17

Hahahahaaaaaa! This is my favourite OP of all time.

cantmummyhaveabreak Wed 18-Nov-09 14:14:14

i'm loving this- your DH sounds a little like mine- though mine doesn't do the cooking very often at all. I might have to try the DIY fantasy out myself... he's up for anything if it gets him more 'rewards'! grin

colditz Wed 18-Nov-09 14:15:28

I think that is a superb idea, and not necessarily dishonest.

I feel a great deal more 'romantically inclined' towards my bf when he has just fixed my hoover, or cooked me an ace breakfast, even if all I initially wanted was a mended hoover and an ace breakfast!

Maidithappen Wed 18-Nov-09 14:15:29

You might be right, BertieBotts, I don't want him to remind me of Bob the Builder. Or worse <shudder> Neil Morrisey.

I've got to avoid turn-offs in this situation. DH will be expecting his DIY performance (er, so-to-speak) to be causing me a commotion in the gusset.

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