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to think this is complete paranoia

(20 Posts)
upsylazy Thu 12-Nov-09 21:04:49

I have recently posted this in another thread but hink it got overlooked and still feel angry about it. A few weeks ago I took DS2 (18 mths) to a 1 o'clock group that I used to take the 2 older DCs to. I was greeted by this very young new staff member that went through this whole list of do's and don'ts with me eg don't give your child anything other than water or milk to drink etc which I politely agreed to. My DS was playing with this little girl who was about the same age and they were being really sweet ie kissing each other etc.I asked this girl's mum if I could take a pic which she said was fine. I took a couple of pics on my phone at which point the play worker came charging towards me yelling "PUT THE PHONE DOWN! PUT THE PHONE DOWN!" like she was from the armed response team and I waving a gun around. She looked at the photos and said that, if I didn't delete them, she would call the Police. I live in Peckham so am sure the cops have better things to do than investigate people taking photos of their own chidren. I was tempted to call her bluff and wait for the Police to come but then thought that it would have to be logged as an incident and I don't want my name linked to a charge of child abuse so just left. I know we need to protect our children but surely this is ridiculous?

meltedchocolate Thu 12-Nov-09 21:13:10

Totally ridiculous!

BUT... you do have to see her point. She is not allowed to let that happen, she has to do something about it. She totally over reacted though. She could have just asked surely.

Was this on the do's and dont's list? If she read that out to you then YABU. If not then i would say she is.

Screaming at you was out of order regardless.

TheArmadillo Thu 12-Nov-09 21:13:41

she sounds mental

SolidGoldBangers Thu 12-Nov-09 21:17:06

You need to put in a complaint to the head of the group about the silly cow. SHe's clearly not fit to be let out alone if she over-reacts like that, let alone being left in charge of any kind of group or organisation. She needs a sharp bollocking for her own good.

Sassybeast Thu 12-Nov-09 21:17:09

There may have been a looked after child in the room or a child who had special circumstances.

LackaDAISYcal Thu 12-Nov-09 21:18:05

it's not complete paranoia; it's a child protection issue.

the way she handled it was a tad hysterical, but her reasons for it are legit.

so in light of that YABU

Firawla Thu 12-Nov-09 21:20:47

she sounds crazy
even the dont give them anything other than water or milk is very ott too, i dont get the need for so many rules
i definitely wouldn't go back if i was you!
dont see how the pic thing is a child protection issue as both the child's mums agreed to the pic, and it was a normal innocent pic rolleyes

LadyGlencoraPalliser Thu 12-Nov-09 21:26:32

It is not necessarily a child protection issue. First of all, if the photos only showed the OP's child and the child of the mother who gave permission for the photo there is clearly NO child protection issue at all.
Second, if there was another child was inadvertantly included in the photo the childcare worker only needed to politely explain that they needed to avoid taking photos of that child.
Third, the worker should have explained the club's policy on photography. Not all, or even most, childcare settings have a blanket ban on photography. For instance many schools and nurseries simply ask parents taking photographs to sign a form stating that they agree to retain the photographs for private use only in order to safeguard the privacy of other children.
If I were the OP I would go and ask the organisers of the One O'Clock Club for a copy of their policy and see what it actually says.

Catkinsthecatinthehat Thu 12-Nov-09 21:30:53

No YA certainly NBU, and have every right to be ruddy furious. Public photography is completely legal and normal, and you have every right to take pictures of your child. That woman had no right to order you to delete your photographs (umm, if you were up to no good she would have been destroying evidence!) and you should have told her to do her worst and dial 999.

As a photographer I'm aware that the authorities have been strenuous attempts over the last couple of years to crack down on public photography. I actually took part in a demonstration outside Scotland Yard in April to protest against police harassment of photographers through the misuse of terrorism and child abuse laws. There's an attempt to push people towards the mindset of 'well why do you want to take photographs in public?' and make a perfectly acceptable past time look a bit dodgy.

I would consider making a formal complaint against this woman as this is an increasing problem If you want to know your exact right to take pics, use this guide

OrmIrian Thu 12-Nov-09 21:32:55

You asked the parent's permission. How can it be anyone else's business? She sounds awful!

odisco Thu 12-Nov-09 21:33:49

It's a paranoia dressed up as a child protection issue. Stopping mum's taking pics of their (presumably fully dressed and unrestrained children) is a reaction to a worry and not a credible risk in that situation.

The care worker over-reacted and obviously despite being new was poorly supervised. The 'excuse' may be that she had to do her job but the problem is in how her job is being executed.

I would have left too but if you want to go back (or even if you don't) then I would write a carefully worded letter stating that you were concerned that the carer was out of her depth on her own there and obviously required some additional support. State that you and your child had been upset (they can't argue with your feelings) by such aggressive behaviour and a more professional attitude should be taken by their staff.

Also she cannot be certain that you did delete the photos (of course you did but for argument's sake) so if they are really concerned by this kind of thing it should be in the ridiculous rules, have a poster and a more rational policy - perhaps a quiet word rather than a pit bull approach.

Sorry to go on!

sb6699 Thu 12-Nov-09 21:34:19

As LGP says, its only a child protection issue if there were other children in the photo other than the one who's mother gave permission.

She seems to have really over-reacted and if it made you uncomfortable then you should complain. You didnt need to delete the pics as long as the other mum had given her say-so and there were no other children in them.

Taking a picture of your own child with a friend is completely different from taking random pics of other folks children in say a park.

Tidey Thu 12-Nov-09 21:41:57

I think any playgroup, school or nursery may be in a heightened sense of awareness over pictures due to the case in Plymouth. She probably thinks that taking 'ban all photos of children' stance is protecting her and everyone else there. Very sad, seeing as the other child's parent had given permission, but you can kind of understand it.

AgentZigzag Thu 12-Nov-09 21:50:44

And she did this in front of the children?? shock

I'm with Armadillo, mental. Do you really want your DS to be with someone who acts like that just for taking a piccy? It'd make me question just how well she'd deal with something really important.

SolidGoldBangers Thu 12-Nov-09 23:33:22

Look, people who behave like this need a good slapdown (no, not advocating physical violence, just putting them firmly in their place). It is dangerous to allow fuckwitted hysterics to be in positions of authority as well as thoroughly annoying for everyone who has to deal with them. There is NOTHING wrong with taking photographs of your own child, and someone else's child with permission, in a public place.

Vallhala Thu 12-Nov-09 23:46:53


I know Peckham well <<waves madly at her old stomping ground>> and can't for one minute imagine you being surrounded by the blues and twos because you took a picture of your DD and another child with her parent's permission. In fact THEY would be peeing themselves if they were contacted about it I'm sure.

I'd think it perfectly reasonable for you to speak to the group's manager and tell her that you do NOT expect to be spoken to in the way that you were.

Tell me to get lost if this is too personal, but was this at Peckham Rye Park by any chance? Cos if so they may have made beautiful improvements to a fantastic park which had been previously left to go to wrack and ruin but still they have a lot to learn! If it is, there is one local councillor who is VERY involved in the park and very supportive of things being properly done with regard to it. It may be worth knowing that if you have any serious issues regarding the park in the future.

BitOfFun Fri 13-Nov-09 00:00:44

Insaniac. Totally agree with SGB.

nappyaddict Fri 13-Nov-09 01:31:47

Were there other children in the backgroun of the photo? If that's the case then I can see why she stopped you but tbh it should have been explained when you first went in.

Flower3545 Fri 13-Nov-09 07:07:20


Does anyone else long for the the good old days, when photographing little ones in the bath wasn't seen as a hanging offence.

When children could run naked on the beach and people would smile fondly.

When society didn't live in fear of the pc police.

Is it just me???

cornsilkwearscorsets Fri 13-Nov-09 07:09:55

she is a loon

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