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to think big black line in DD1s book isnt fair or nice??

(65 Posts)

DD1 is 6 years old and in year 2. She is meant to do reading every night and math and spelling and music. We have to sign if we have done reading with her, in her home/school book.
I got called in today as DD1 had got very upset as new rules from head is "If parents dont read with children teachers MUST put a big black cross though the section normally signed" I mean WTF!!
We read most nights but last night we sent her to bed early as she was clearly shattered and getting over a bug.
Should also say dd1 has ASD and hates getting things wrong/being told off/change ect. But to be honest i think its terrible for any child, and hardly builds self esteem, its not their fault if parents dont read with them
AIBU?

Feenie Thu 12-Nov-09 18:49:52

That's appalling.

I am a Literacy co-ordinator, and know full well how essential reading at home is to a child's reading skills, but I'm with you, OP - how will this make the child feel?

FabIsJustSoBusy Thu 12-Nov-09 18:50:51

YANBU

Maybe next time she goes to bed early you could do the reading in the morning instead?

Flightattendant Thu 12-Nov-09 18:51:07

yanbu, how stupid of them to introduce something likethis.

I hope they don't start this at our school. Tbh we rarely, rarely do the required 10 minutes as we just have too much else going on and he is knackered and can't concentrate. He has to do it all day at school, 6yo is too young to push homework.

Sorry dd was upset sad

littleducks Thu 12-Nov-09 18:51:13

Why dont you write a comment ion the box? Can be XXXX went to bed early or whatever, i doubt they would cross out anything you had written

alarkaspree Thu 12-Nov-09 18:53:50

It does seem a bit harsh and arbitary. Next time, why don't you write a little note where you would normally sign - 'dd was too tired to read today, sorry'. Then they can't put a big cross through it (well I don't think they would anyway).

I do think if there's some reason why you are not doing homework that it's helpful to let the teacher know. Then they are less likely to, unfairly, get annoyed with the child.

well her teachers were very sorry about the whole thing and did just say to write a reason down, but tbh shes my child, its our time why shoulod i explain every choice i make to them? Some nights we dont read school books, some night she has other activities and one night a week me and dh arent home till 6pm but we still try most nights.

tbh though if they have an issue with it, why take it out on child, deal with parents, its just embrassing too for those children with hige black lines

seeker Thu 12-Nov-09 18:58:43

you don't have to explain every choice to them. However, if you have an agreement to read for 10 minutes then it wouldn't hurt to explain why you hadn't, surely?

Flightattendant Thu 12-Nov-09 19:04:08

I don't have an 'agreement' with them at all...they have asked us to read every night, I disagree with that and find it impractical and not necessarily the right thing for my child...one day they will pull me up on it I'm sure but for the time being getting him to school five days a week is hard enough let alone forcing him to think about his 'work' in the evening as well when he NEEDS to separate from school thoughts and wind down.

It's a physical and psychological need...he doesn't even talk about school. He still needs to compartmentalise to cope with it.

PlasticBandit Thu 12-Nov-09 19:18:51

YANBU - the intention can only be to bully parents and, more importantly, children into the preferred reading programme.
This just makes children feel bad/guilty etc. I thought that the whole point of reading at home was that the child should enjoy the reading and the parental attention whilst improving their reading. How on earth can this be construed as encouraging?
I assume that it is a misguided attempt to shame the parents who never read with their children at home. Oo-er - FAIL - the parents who don't (won't) read with their children at home don't actually look at the reading diaries, even if their children want them to, so the message doesn't actually reach the chosen parents. All this strategy does is to make children feel bad. Why would anyone want to do that?
My childrens' school do encourage home reading, which we do most evenings. If one of them is tired/ill etc and doesn't read, I do make a point of noting this in their reading diary. Maybe this is me just covering my back due to reading failure - heaven knows why; the teachers have told me that we read at home more than expected, but it does pass information to the school.

Vivia Thu 12-Nov-09 19:19:49

Aw, poor DD, that's really unnecessary.

sad

carocaro Thu 12-Nov-09 19:22:58

YANBU

It is not the law to read everynight.

DS1 is 7 and in year 3 and his teacher and TA totally accept that sometimes he's had enough of school and reading, he has moderate dyslexia. If we push it we piss him off and that is worse imo.

And they are totally fine with it. And the fact we don't write everyday in the book, but do so at least three times a week. I tend to make a general comment at the end of the week also.

jybay Thu 12-Nov-09 19:26:11

Yanbu - she is 6 FFS. If you think she needs an early night occasionally, that is your decision.

I would take this up with the head - it is also stigmatising for children whose parents don't read with them, most of whom (the parents) won't give a flying ** about crosses in books.

alwayslookingforanswers Thu 12-Nov-09 19:26:15

oh god they've started a green, amber, red thing at DS1's school, green if they'd read and the parents have listened, amber if they'd read on their own, and red if they haven't read at all.

I am the worlds worst parent for remembering to WRITE IN THE BOOK, I listen to him read (he's always reading some boring fascinating fact out of his Motor Sport history book or his F1 book - but I often totally forget to write in his book that he's read something out loud to me). So basicall he gets "ambers" - because I don't do my homework properly hmm

misdee Thu 12-Nov-09 19:28:12

qwith 3 dd's at school i'm always forgetting to write in the books. or loising the books.

dd's all read daily anyway, the school knows they do as their reading imoproves, so i am not worried.

big black lines in the book would bug me though angry

Heated Thu 12-Nov-09 19:29:26

Stick smiley stickers over the crosses? Sign all the boxes for the next year? Seriously, I'd be rather tempted to thwart such a silly idea.

But first, give the headteacher your feedback. It certainly isn't positive reinforcement or fostering a love of reading, which is what is required at this age.

cornsilkwearscorsets Thu 12-Nov-09 19:31:24

That's appalling.

morningpaper Thu 12-Nov-09 19:36:07

poor you and DD - that's rubbish

cat64 Thu 12-Nov-09 19:40:12

Message withdrawn

Deadworm Thu 12-Nov-09 19:47:01

But it is only black cross!

Why should that make the child feel bad unless parents or teachers primed them for that response?

I know I was poor at filling in the comment box and if the school is getting poor response from a lot of parents they need to act.

lindsaygii Thu 12-Nov-09 19:49:58

Well I hope that no-one in this thread who is criticising the big black line supported the government when the experts recently reported that formal learning not start till age six...

This is exactly the kind of thing they were talking about... Children of this age are too young to be treated in such a strict manner, and their teachers to expect everything to make way for their reading.

It's awful, and YANBU - at all.

angry

alwayslookingforanswers Thu 12-Nov-09 19:50:42

Deadworm - it may be several years since I was at school - but if I'd got a big black cross in one of my books I would have been upset - especially at 6yrs old!

Ronaldinhio Thu 12-Nov-09 19:52:15

i think you should remove her from school forthwith and home educate

alwayslookingforanswers Thu 12-Nov-09 19:52:32

limdsay - yes I supported the government in their recent statement - not sure what that's got to do with a ridiculous system of putting huge black crosses in a child's book - whether they're 6 or 10 makes sod all difference to me - suppoed to encourage them - not make them feel bad.

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