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having an enormous-belly-laugh at this 'slimming tip'

(43 Posts)
LovelyBertha Wed 11-Nov-09 13:55:30

OK ladies, this is a super way to shift that unsightly post-baby fat. I really should try it, apparently.

Breakfast: Bowl of uncooked oats, low fat yoghurt and a chopped-up apple.

Lunch: A cup of Marigold Swiss Vegetable Bouillon.

Supper: See lunch.

That's it.

thelunar66 Wed 11-Nov-09 13:56:34

I can see why you'd lose weight hmm

GooseyLoosey Wed 11-Nov-09 13:59:44

How long do you think you could last beforeyou gnawed your own arm off?

littlemoominmamma Wed 11-Nov-09 14:00:17

Nothing for supper? sad

TheMightyToosh Wed 11-Nov-09 14:00:44

Wow, that looks like something off a pro-anorexia website... Dodgy

Goober Wed 11-Nov-09 14:07:46

Yum...

Where do I sign up?

LovelyBertha Wed 11-Nov-09 14:11:51

'It's a good one to do for a week if dh is away on a business trip or something.'

Hahahahahaha!

The person who shared this gem is one of those who likes to stay nice and slim for her husband. She is thin, but looks like she's sucking a lemon.

I've only been un-pregnant for 5 months, and I'm bf. This advice was offered out of the blue - I wasn't moaning about being fat. Only put on a bit of weight anyway, nothing a pair of control-pants and a thick layer of winter clothes wont solve.

Nutcase I reckon.

Pass the cake...

BouncingTurtle Wed 11-Nov-09 14:12:37

What are you talking about littlemoominmother, you get another whole cup of Swiss Vegetable Bouillon!
A WHOLE cup!!

I think you are just being greedy, you'll never lose weight with that attitude wink

That diet is seriously scary. I think I would last about half an hour on it.

ImSoNotTelling Wed 11-Nov-09 14:24:45

Someone in RL told you to do this with no prompting?

How rude shock

<scoffs doughnut>

scaryteacher Wed 11-Nov-09 17:24:17

The bouillon is soo salty though, you'd die of thirst.

GrimmaTheNome Wed 11-Nov-09 17:31:24

I hope that sucked lemon has been calorie counted.

hmm

The breakfast sounds fine but salt solution for lunch and dins shock.

Redazzy Wed 11-Nov-09 17:43:52

Oh she sounds like just my sort of person!

The best diet tip I ever heard was during a weight watchers meeting (one of the many times I joined). The leader said that rather than having a chocolate kimberly biscuit (Irish biscuit of which there was a complete craze a few years ago - 2 soft ginger biscuits with marshmallow in between, covered in chocolate, groan!), put a tip of ground ginger in your tea and it tastes just the same! In what universe I wondered? I didn't last long with that leader for some reason.

MorrisZapp Wed 11-Nov-09 17:48:54

Reminds me of the numpties who used to work in an office with my sister - endlessly gassing on about their weight, trying all sorts of ludicrous ideas like stock cube and hot water for lunch etc.

One of them said to my sister 'I wish I had a figure likes yours, then I'd just sit and eat cakes all day!'.

Er - think that one through, love.

JackBauer Wed 11-Nov-09 18:22:32

Why has no-one mentioned uncooked oats yet?

Bleurgh. I wouldn't last through breakfast!

Longtalljosie Wed 11-Nov-09 18:24:52

Kimberly biscuits sound wonderful!

seaglass Wed 11-Nov-09 18:25:15

I think I'd rather stay fat

LovelyBertha Wed 11-Nov-09 21:34:47

Where can I get Kimberly biscuits then?

NotTelling- I'm putting her complete lack of tact down to her half starved, brine-soaked brain....

oh yeah - I forgot to say- if you drink Liquorice tea between your 'meals', it stops you from feeling quite so hungry.

Mmmmmmm.

The joy!

ImSoNotTelling Wed 11-Nov-09 21:39:44

I think you need to secrete a packet of jaffa cakes about your person and start eating them ostentatiouly at her every time she comes near you. Make a real overdone "mmmmmmm yummm mmmm" noise and smack your lips, she will recoil in horror and never bother you again.

AllarmBells Wed 11-Nov-09 21:40:02

That is revolting. You'd digest your own stomach if you did that for a week, surely?
I read one recently that went "when you want to eat something, wait 20 minutes and see if you still want to eat it. If you do, do..."
Surely people who can wait 20 minutes before they eat something don't have weight problems?
Time for some biscuit biscuit biscuit

Sidge Wed 11-Nov-09 21:51:05

Blimey can you imagine what your farts would smell like?

RubysReturn Wed 11-Nov-09 21:53:06

If you did chew your own arm off, would there actually be a net weight gain?

Surely not.

Obv arm would be uncooked, as per oats

Poledra Wed 11-Nov-09 21:55:46

Roffle, Ruby grin

PeedOffWithNits Wed 11-Nov-09 22:49:52

if you chew off own arm you lose weight as the mass would be burned off and waste excreted too.....

Hey! what a great new diet tip....

KERALA1 Wed 11-Nov-09 22:55:05

My favourite diet tip was from a very grand old lady - her suggestion was to eat a Ryvita biscuit after every meal. So eat the meal you always eat (say take away curry followed by lots of cake) but the additional Ryvita makes it all ok.

ToffeeMuser Wed 11-Nov-09 22:58:48

Now I quite often have that breakfast, it's very tasty. You get uncooked oats in muesli so it's not that odd, and if you leave the oats with grated apple over night it goes really nice.

But two cups of bouillon? Puke. Fad diets are insane. It's like the Special K challenge "mmm, sugary cereal twice a day. Healthy". Or bloody SlimFast. Why can't we just eat normally?

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