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To think as you grow older and have children you gain friends and lose them

(7 Posts)
petalsinthewind Tue 10-Nov-09 22:36:14

I feel so sad I have had friends who I always been there for, like wise so I thought and now I have young children my friends are not there for me anymore and we have grown apart maybe because circumstances have changed , aibu to expect more please tell me your stories xx sad

petalsinthewind Tue 10-Nov-09 22:44:19

Sorry didn't mean to post three times so please tell me what you think? xx

lollopops Tue 10-Nov-09 22:46:44

I totally get where you're coming from petalsinthewind and having children (especially if your friends are childless) can leave you isolated and lonely, when your so-called friends seem to scarper. I remember feeling very frustrated and let down.

I did notice that a few of my friends, (especially now my children are reaching their teenage years) have done a 360 and we have the same relationship we had before I had children.

You're not unreasonable to expect more but I think that sadly, this is the reality for a lot of people in our situation.

lollopops Tue 10-Nov-09 22:47:04


pjmama Tue 10-Nov-09 22:52:05

You might find that when they have children, they'll be back - because they'll get it then smile

petalsinthewind Tue 10-Nov-09 22:55:19

But have had friends who had children before me and was there through thick and thin now I have mine knowhere to be seen, however met new people which adds to your life specially if they are near the same age you can help advice each other but the friends you had before are no where to be seen do you agree?

displayuntilbestbefore Tue 10-Nov-09 23:02:33

It's like new handbags- one in one out. I've lost approx one friend for every child I've had - but look on the positive side, having a child often means you have the opportunity to meet so many more friends that if some fall by the wayside due to them having a problem with you becoming a parent then you're better off without them (after birth of dc1, one couple came to stay and couldn't even hide their boredom when we did a nappy change or I fed ds then a few weeks later they wrote to us to say they had totally different aspirations in their lives compared to us and couldn't see a future staying friends with us! shock)
If my delightful babies are a reason for someone to consider we aren't suitable friends anymore, then they can [bleeep] right off.

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