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To think as you grow older and have children you gain friends and lose them

(6 Posts)
petalsinthewind Tue 10-Nov-09 22:35:38

I feel so sad I have had friends who I always been there for, like wise so I thought and now I have young children my friends are not there for me anymore and we have grown apart maybe because circumstances have changed , aibu to expect more please tell me your stories xx sad

Lotster Tue 10-Nov-09 22:52:24

YANBU. I had friend that just slowly disappeared throughout my first pregnancy which made me sad.
However I now find that after my second, that a few of them have now had babies of their own and come grovelling back now they know how hard it is!

petalsinthewind Tue 10-Nov-09 23:01:20

That is how it is for me so I totally understand what you are saying make her grovel if you are not already and smile sweetly knowing they have it all to come.grin

Lotster Tue 10-Nov-09 23:07:47

I remember pre-kids, wondering why some friends who had babies seemed to disappear and become "boring" and forget what life was about.. then found myself in those shoes, realising that those friends were actually stuck knee deep in nappies and sleepless nights, actually desperate to have a night out, and wondering where their friends were!

JTGPsmummy Wed 11-Nov-09 09:31:26

YANBU, the only true friends I have now are ones that I've made through going to toddler groups. I find I have more to talk to them about and if I do happen to meet up with a pre DS friend, I struggle for things to say as our lives are so different now. I only keep in touch with old friends through facebook and that is a struggle as they don't really bother. I find it quite sad but some people get very self involved with their own lives and just seem to cut you out (and I have found this through being ill, not just since having DS). Unfortunately some people make much better friends than others and I have finally found some who I thnk will be friends for life now!

lolapoppins Wed 11-Nov-09 11:42:20

I had my ds at 22, when most of my freinds were still at/just finishing uni (I had gone a different path and work and ran a business from 16). I lost touch with most of them because of thier preconceotions. I was still more than able to go out, dh was here to look after ds, but they all thought that marrige + baby = no life and stopped inviting me anywhere or even contacting me. Got a few 'why are you wasting your life haivng a child so young' comments thrown in as well.

However, now we are all 30 ish, most of them have got back in touch, now that they are marrying and having babies themselves, I think some of them have realised having a family is not a waste of your life and you can still do things!

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